Corrupt a Wish - The Inevitable Return

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Granted! However, for some odd reason, he now sounds like Daffy Duck... oh, and he tries to kill you. That's the last time you put a pair of headphones on!

I wish I had a small mechanical version of myself, who would agree with everything I could possibly say.
 
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You get your little robot, but inevitably you get tired of having a ponce yes-man following you around. The robot lives out its days on the streets, sad and alone, wondering why its master left it, and whether it could ever truly be loved again.

I wish Grega's computer smelled like vanilla.
 
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You work out the secret vanilla PC formula after a few roadblocks and speed bumps, like continually inventing Compaq by accident. Sadly when you go to install it on Grega's PC, it tells you that you can't do that and it calls you Dave. You mysteriously die in a strange Apartment decompression accident in which parts appeared to be sabotaged by a nearby mini-hal 9000.

I wish Avenger, the hero of our story, and Mini-hal didn't fuse to form Halvenger 9000 and ruin the third book in the series. Damn obelisks.
 
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He didn't. Instead he becomes a broken, twisted shell of a man - but still possessing his monstrous strength, speed, and agility. He now stalks the night, searching for Grega to put an end to his evil wishing rain.

I wish Dokutayuu would stop Avenger, the hero of our story, from killing Grega.
 
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Granted! However, in a surprising twist, Dokutayuu manages to do it himself. It was a tragic yet rather humourous affair, Doku could have sworn that he had wished for Grega's immediate surprise.

I wish tha the filler episodes before Grega's revival wouldn't be too bad!
 
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Your wish is granted. And judging by the wish, you have some admiration for Grega, or it would seem. So then, as a token of the Dragon's respect, he's meticulously designed your wish, and it would have dream sequences of you and Grega caught up in a very long and passionate love affair; in which dreams, you appear as Princess Snake on Snake Way, and Grega as Goku, and the events to follow had he never left Snake's palace. THAT, would make for some great filler.


I wish.... I wish....what're the words? .....Goblin King, Goblin King! Wherever you may be take this child of mine far away from me!
 
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Granted, David Bow- I mean, the Goblin King takes the child away from you but unfortunately you didn't mean the wish and have to go on an adventure through horrifying swamps, get groped by dozens of hands in a hole, make friends with guy who befriends rocks, and stare in both awe and horror at Goblin Bowie's cortch bulge. You return from this adventure a little unsettled and spend the rest of your life doing ass-to-ass scenes.

I wish petrol grew on trees!
 
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Granted but as a result the entire planet explodes when the first lightning strikes a tree.

I wish all meat tasted like chicken.
 
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Granted, but its infested with hackers in every server you can join and you end up being the only person on every server with 0 kills and a million deaths.

I wish that games today didnt focus primarily on GFX and actually focused on good gameplay instead.
 
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Granted! All games released are now ugly, the only consolation is that fog masks most of each game world, due to the horrible draw distances. On the bright side, wandering around aimlessly is relatively enjoyable.

I wish pandas could write music.
 
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They can, but its all chinese pop. As a result, China wins the cultural war. Avenger, once the hero of our story, joins the Chinese Peoples Communist Party, and becomes a drunk and a corrupt politician who plays Wii with Kim Jong Il on every third thursday of the month. The rest of us don blue jumpsuits and eat dirt to survive after China ruins the worlds economy and bans the internet (unless you post exactly what they want you to say). You get off lucky, the Chinese decide that you are in violation of the one child policy, even though you are clearly not a baby anymore, and buries you in a mass grave. A panda writes your dirge. Its all very touching.

As long as no babies come from the touching.


I wish Avenger was still the hero of our story.
 
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He is, though still villified by the public for going after Grega. Little do they know that Grega is secretly Cucumba's underling, and a fierce supporter of Jack Thompson's efforts to shut down amazing videogames.

I wish wishes were wonderful.
 
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Granted! They're all now full of rainbows and sunbeams! However, through various plot holes, the newly revived Grega plans to make them all mundane and logical again! Can Avenger, the hero of our story, fight this menace whilst staying in the public's good books? And where has his sidekick gone?

I wish that next week's episode would answer at least one of these questions!
 
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They do, however, Avenger, the actor who portrays the hero of our story, quits, leaving Sub to take up the slack. When Sub demands to write his own role, the show devolves into a comedy about gay marriage, time travel, paradoxes and cats. Avenger, the hero of our story, burns down the studio with several incednidary bullets fired from a 50 caliber rifle. He becomes hero once more, but his face is horribly burned in the fighting, leaving him to ironically don a Guy Fawkes mask as an athiest. He also wears Che Guevarra shirts, but the public loves those despite the ******* printed on them. Using the time travel device from the show, Avenger goes back in time and assasinates the new writers and convinces himself not to quit. Thus your questions were answered, but you never knew.

I wish I knew where the missing items on my report were.
 
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You know where they are. But then, Grega, the villain of our story, swoops in and takes them from you after what can only be described as an unbelievable fight. As a result of the fight being so unbelievable, the police do not believe you when you report the missing things from your report. You grow bitter, and form an anti-police militia that occasionally murders men named Grega and staples them full of reports with flaws in them.

I wish a forum member was turned into a super-villain after a serious mishap with Red Bull.
 
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Doku and Grega bump into eachother while drinking Red Bull and Gatorade with red 40. The resulting release of energy (note to marketing: possible tag line instead of "Is it in you?", "Did it come out of you?") causes Doku and Grega to fuse without a silly dance or earrings. Dokugreggu proceeds to resemble a hyperactive 5 year old with ADHD. After forcing the forum population to randomly do crabwalking in the middle of a "finger painting with raw sewage" session, Dokugreggu then makes horrible corrupted wishes the norm for the next 10 seconds. Hours later no on is sure what's going on other than their fingers stink, their legs are sore, and they aren't quite getting what they asked for. Crack editing becomes the norm. Avenger, the hero of our . . . wanna ride bikes?

I wish the above story/corrupted wish/tl;dr had a mountain of cocaine, a touching romance between a man and his cat, interpretive cooking, a chase scene invloving a rascal wheel chair and a donkey, and an ominous alien presence.
 
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Your wish is granted, and the story is vastly expanded upon. Zeonix watches his poor cat suffer from a crippling cocaine addiction that it can only support by interpretively cooking fancy dishes on a Martha Stewart talk-show. At one point, the interpretive cooking show gets out of hand. The main ingredient for the night's dish - the donkey - escapes in a rascal wheel chair. Zeo chases after the beast, axe in hand, wishing there was another way. Above the spectacle, a vast alien presence projects itself using a gargantuan megaphone. It's a Mexican advertisement for their equivalent of green cards. Subsequently, all of Cucumba's few decent workers disappear from his job in favour of the better paid Mexican job market. He finds himself captured by Zeo - turned border patrolsman for the Mexicans - and tortured to reveal the location of a cocaine stash he had never even heard of after trying to illegally cross the border. Zeo's cat is hospitalized after a particularly bad bout of overdose. Things are grim.

I wish all bald men wore pin-stripe shoes.
 
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They do, but when you marvel at them you are blinded by the glare of well polished craniums. Enjoy your blindness.

I wish those Americans would stop jumping the fence into Mexico!
 
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Granted, they stop jumping the fence. Instead now they dig a hole under it.

I wish Dokugreggu would create a devious plan and eliminate the hero of our story Avenger by putting it into motion.
 

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