Corrupt a Wish - The Inevitable Return

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! You now earn £30k a year, have afternoons off and require no extra training at all! You're a binman!

I wish Grega wasn't so clumsy.

 

[Avenger]

He isn't, but now that he is no longer clumsy, he becomes evil, and fights the hero of our story - Avenger - with all his might, causing great distress to certain populations of salamanders.

I wish Coca Cola came in a clear colour.

 

[DiebytheSword]

Crystal Coca Cola happens despite threats of lawsuits from Pepsi Co. The drink becomes so popular that tours are given of Camp Crystal Coke, the plant that manufactures the stuff. A single working mom has her retarded child with her during bring your kid to work day. He drowns in a vat of syrup while two workers make out after sharing a blunt. When he grows up in hell he dons a hockey mask and comes back to life, murdering you, the hero of our story, and all your freinds on your visit to the facility on Friday the 13th. It spawns 17 sequels, each ****tier than the last.

I wish Soylent Green wasn't people.

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! It's now made from only horrible tasting people! If you don't taste good, you're not a person at all!

I wish I had everything ready for uni next week.

 

[DiebytheSword]

You do but you focus so hard on it that you continue to suck at corrupting wishes. A flash mob forms and steals your pants, setting them on fire and using them as their burning standard. The hero of our story, Avenger, quickly comes to your aid, the comic relief of our story, so that we may all laught when we look back on this akward moment.

Also, Pinapples, just 'cause.

I wish Doku could hit it like a champ.

 

[Cap J]

Granted, Doku can now hit it like a champ......unfortunately it's like a champion from the Special Olympics so despite missing every single time doku always gets awarded an A for Effort and then wanders around trying to make friends with invisible fish. (I'm going to hell if it exists)

I wish that the entire universe was made out of bacon of varying thickness.

 

[Avenger]

It is, but the bacon is at the quantum level, and is invisible to any human eye or instrument. Your theory of the Baconverse - though correct - is scoffed at, and you end up sitting alone, sad, and Welsh in your kitchen every Sunday morning while cooking yourself a bacon breakfast; reminded of your terrible failure.

I wish I knew what caused the properties of charge and spin to be created in the first place.

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! However, it can only be explained using homoeopathy and astrology!

I wish every weapon on the planet was replaced with a satsuma!

 

[Heron]

Granted however the WMD's give off excess energy not used in the coverting process that produces alot of toxic gas which kills everyone.

I wish I could travel to the 4th dimension.

 

[Avenger]

You're already there. It's called "reality". Space-time is four dimensions.

I wish Cucumba's arms suddenly became the most powerful things in the world.

 

[Xeasarr]

Cucumba's arms do become the most powerful things in the world, however, that makes him lose his penis. Figures?

I wish Damaera didn't exist.

 

[DiebytheSword]

He doesn't, but as a result we ban all ban evaders currently on the board. Wish granted.

I wish people didn't ban evade.

 

[Didgy]

Granted. People will never ban evade because they are no longer banned in the first place. Here's your spam and troll-filled forum with some sauce on it.

I wish my upload speed was quicker, without losing my download speed.

 

[Grega]

Granted, however the price for your connection goes up exponentaly for teh upload speed and you can no longer afford the connection. You are now with out an internet connection.

I wish the work week lasted 2 days and the weekend lasted 5 days

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! However, your wish bankrupts all businesses, who have been forced to pay people weekend rates to get anything done. The world's economy collapses, meaning that waffles are now more valuable than money... which is a problem when Sky's about! You live out the rest of your days guarding your waffles, from the ever-hungry Skyrider.

 

[Avenger]

Your wish for nothing is granted... but as it turns out, had you remembered to make a wish, you could have saved Cucumba's legs from being eaten by a malicious raptor-cheetah hybrid.

I wish I had more beer.

 

[Darkraid]

Granted! But you got so much beer that you have to wait 'til 2050 to get more.

I wish I can make my own game.

 

[Avenger]

You can, but it turns out to be a huge flop, and is forever remembered as "that ****ty game no one wants to play"

I wish my apartment was clean.

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! However, in order to preserve it, you can no longer live there.

I wish I had wished earlier!

 

[Grega]

Granted. You win a prize robot that cleans your flat. The robot is so precise, that not a single germ escapes it. The thing is once you get home, the robot deletes you from existence for bringing germs from the outside to your flat.

EDIT: FSACK ninja'd by Doku

You made a wish, but no one can remember what it was, because sky broke the forum and the last backup didnt include your post.

I wish the HAL9000 computer was real, minimized to the size of a PC and sitting on my table instead of my PC.