Corrupt a Wish - The Inevitable Return

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Most people are probably know the drill, especially the old members. If you don't here's how it goes:

Step 1) Someone makes a wish.
Step 2) The next poster grants the wish but makes the outcome bad.
Step 3) That person then makes thier own wish.

Crappy example:

Poster 1: I wish I had loads of gold in my hands!
Poster 2: Granted, but it's of the shower variety. I wish I had a pony!
Poster 3: Granted, but it has only 2 legs and goes to satanic cult meetings where they sacrifice hamsters. I wish that asshat with the extremely loud motorbike would explode while driving down the road.

And so on. So, here we go:

I wish I had a really tall tower from which I could spend all day dropping things from the top.
 
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Granted, but there's no way to climb on top. I wish I had a pet manticore.
 
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A faithful manticore finds its way to your home, but it turns out Romanians are manticorists and slay the poor thing with mighty sausages. I wish I had Viper's love.
 
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Granted, but it turns out he's a sadomasochist. You now spend your life chained in a basement getting your nipples whipped.

I wish I had a rythem stick.
 
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Granted, but it turns out he's a sadomasochist. You now spend your life chained in a basement getting your nipples whipped.
How is that a corrupted wish?

I wish I had a rythem stick.
You get your rythem stick, but as it turns out, a rythem stick is really an African type of licorice that gives you HIV. I wish I could see Batgirl in a nipple suit.
 
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You do, but only in yet another Shoemacher batman film.

I wish I had a good home cooked meal for lunch today.
 
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You do! But it turns out that Soylent Green is people! I wish I had a mojito.
 
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Granted, but the alcohol used in it was a homebrew made using jet fuel, you've gone blind and it burns when you pee.

I wish the End of the ESF Forums was turned into an anime film.

How is that a corrupted wish?
Kinky. Now I know what I'M doing on the weekend.
 
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Granted! However, it is produced by Disney Pixar as a CGI. Whilst financially successful, critics said it wasn't true to the source material and were unhappy that many characters sounded like Donald Duck. On the bright side, the tie-in game was a solid dating sim for the Nintendo Wii.

I wish I had laser vision!
 
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Granted but you can't turn it off, you are forced to watch as everything you love burns by your own doing. Your eyelids included.

I wish I had that dating sim so I could date Cuc, Maj_You, and Pain. edit (even if they were voiced like donald duck)
 
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You do, but Pain insists that he was already ****ed by Cuc and things get uncomfortable, fast.

I wish friday would come faster.
 
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Granted! However, it's Rebecca Black's version!

I wish for world peace!
 
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Granted, but the world becomes so boring that you decide to kill yourself.

I wish i had a buck :p
 

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I wish I was Zeonix.
 
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Grega: Granted but it's buck rogers and the annoying robot follows him. You set yourself on fire in despair.

Sub: Granted but there can be only 1 God Emperor, you two spend the next eternity in an ESF styled thunderdome, locked in sweaty combat, unable to shower.

I wish I could give sad panda a hug to cheer it up. :(
 

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Sub: Granted but there can be only 1 God Emperor, you two spend the next eternity in an ESF styled thunderdome, locked in sweaty combat, unable to shower.
Sweaty combat eh? Sounds good to me.

Granted, but the pandas happiness is only momentary. The Panda goes back to living a life devoid of meaning, destined to have its species go extinct and its loved ones die before its eyes.
 
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Sub you made no wish?

I wish I could breathe in space
 
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Donnie! I haven't seen you around for a good while! Good news, you can breath in space! However, you're always short of breath and on the verge of passing out!

This one's very special to me, I wish for a sense of direction!
 
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You get a direction, but soon discover that it is circular, and get trapped in a cubless Cube scenario. I hope you quickly work prime numbers in your head.

I wish I had more work to do.
 
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Granted, you get to do the work of every single human being on this planet while they still get the cash earned.

I wish i was in dixieland hurray hurray :p
 

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