I printed this out and wrote "#1 SON" underneath it in big bold letters. It was my Mother's Day gift this past year. For some background, I have 3 other brothers, but she still decided to hang this up in the house, and it's still there.
GODDAMMIT I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FABULOUS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT ASS-HOLE
ALSO WHAT THE **** IS THAT ON YOUR CHIN GODDAMMIT WHY
YOU ARE A DECENT LOOKING PERSON WHO CAN LOOK FLY AS **** WITH JUST A FEW MODIFICATIONS I AM TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE I AM SO GODDAMN FABULOUS I WILL BLEED IT ONTO YOU GODDAMMIT
you aren't wearing skinny jeans, so that's a +1 and a good start. you also don't wear your fedora, so we're +2 this is good. if you wanna keep longer hair get it trimmed about an inch and a half and thin it out a bit, or do about 2 inches all around and keep your layers (I keep my layers because I'm sexy like that) then shave the pubes off your chin and you'll be looking fly as ****
you don't have an ugly face so don't hide it! long hair is easy and fun but if it's wavy like that it's nigh impossible to maintain and retain a nice look. now go out my child and receive the ****** you crave
or penis if that's your thing, no judgement here. either way i will guide you to get the crotch you seek
Eon the way that rant ended...sounded like it should be from the boondock saints.... "And we will send you to what ever god you wish"
AND I SHALL SEND YOU TO ANY CROTCH YOU WISH.
And F*cking we shall be
For me my lord...for me
blood hath descended forth to my pants
So That my peen may swiftly carry out my perv plan
So I shall come a river forth to thee
and teeming with ***** shall it ever be
In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti
I really want to figure out a better ending than the normal....its a pray in works