The first fanfic from me

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NeLo, just a somebody, who I thought had a very noticable opinion.

Hey thas me :D :p
 
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This one took me longer to write because I was pre-occupied with things, but I tried my best while my mind was elsewhere. Tell me what ya think thus far.


Rog laughed and rubbed her paws together, feeling the tension about the room, but choosing to ignore it. Dalamar had actually called them the most powerful. Dalamar! The big kahuna. The one they said had no emotions at all, and who thought everyone weak and pathetic. HE had called THEM the most powerful. It was better than chewing catnip in the sun. She could work with Dak, if it got her more praise, because cats love praise.

Falcon went over and scratched her behind her ears. She purred in pleasure, rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. Though named after a bird, he was one of the best friends she could ever have.

"My sweet little kitty, I cannot even imagine the reward we'll get for destroying Glenn's troops." Falcon said.

Rog smiled, revealing her fangs. "Yeah. I can just see Dalamar flippin' out his check book."

"Check book?" DaKD inquired. "Isn't that ages old?"

Rog rolled her eyes. "It's not literal." She turned and smiled at Falcon, then, in one try, jumped onto his shoulders. She raised her arm in the air, and let out a cry. "Let's go fight!"

Falcon smiled and carried her out of the room of the ruined hotel that they called base, leaving DaKD alone. He couldn't understand why those two connected so well, especially since they had originally started out worst enemies. In fact, Dak and Falcon had been the friends, before Rog joined. She did something to change Falcon, and he became less...Falcon, and more Rog.

"DUCKY!" Rog called. "ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?"

DaKD shuddered. She was so annoying. What was going through his scaley mind when he decided to work with her? Nevermind. It was the flattery that Dalamar gave them. It had blinded him for a minute, so that he'd say yes to Dalamar, and once somebody said "yes" to Dal, you couldn say "no" without losing their necks. It was seduction.

"DUCKY!?!" Rog screamed.

Dak couldn't stand her voice anymore. "I am coming, dammit! I'll be down in two shakes of a cats tail!"

"VERY FUNNNYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"

He couldn't fathom how loud her voice was to Falcon's ears; the ears that she was sitting beside. He kicked the bed again, and ran out the door, being careful not to close it on his tail.


Scooter walked behind Ryoko, to keep him separated from Baku and Bakabone, and he was pummeled with rocks. The two Ba's were getting on Scooter's nerves, and he felt very close to strangling them, but kept his cool. He learned not to lose it when dealing with people like them, no matter how hard it was.

Bob stopped, and checked his clip. "Guys, a city."

Ryoko and Scooter dashed to be by their captain's side, and to stare down at the sorry looking city. It wasn't more than five feet down, but due to lack of high towers, it was all visible, like if it were at the end of a mountain. Glenn was examining it, and shook his head sadly, while NeLo sniffed of the air. He turned around and snatched the cigarette from Vee, shooting her a dirty glance as he flicked it into the dirt.

"I can smell someone else around here, but I can't figure out where they are." NeLo said. Vee whispered something to Jessica, and she giggled. "No, the smoke is messing up my nose. I can also HEAR them."

They both rolled their eyes.

"That place looks crummy to me." Vee said. "Who'd wanna be in there?"

"Well, we do." Bob said. "We need to find out if this is Earth or not, and if there's somebody here, we can ask."

Glenn shook his head. "If this isn't Earth, they'd lie to us, and if it is, they'd be wondering what kind of cigar you're smoking. I think we should split up, and sneak around whoever it is. They might be hostile."

"They might be in need of our help." Ryoko commented.

Vee, always the optimist, said dryly, "They might be waiting for us. Like an ambush or something."

Bob shot them a silencing glare. "We get the picture, you can stop telling us what they might be..."

"Yeah, but, doesn't it make sense? I mean, Earth is magically a few hundred miles from where it once was, and there's somebody here hiding from us..."

"What makes you think they're hiding?"

"They would have heard the ship. When you and NeLo were talking when we first landed, I heard you from the ship because of the echo."

Ryoko grinned. "Yeah. The ship is very loud, and we know how this place echoes. I think we should count it as a possiblity."

"Fine. Maybe." Bob said, stubbornly. "But we're not splitting up; there's safety in numbers."

"What if they use a plasma nuke?" Glenn asked. "I've done some research on Dalamar and Gasaraki, and I've learned that they love doing things like that." Bob shook his head. "We need to split up! Though STRENGTH lies in numbers, we need to cover more ground."

"Which group will the medic go with?" NeLo asked.

"I know something of medical science, and my knowledge of poisons and remedies might be useful in this place." Ryoko said,
Glenn smiled. "Okay, Baku, Scooter, Domino, Vee, and me will cover the left side, while NeLo, Jessica, Bakabone, Bob, and Ryoko will cover the right."

Jessica looked down sadly. "I guess it is better to split up the pilots, in case both teams need them, but, doesn't Ryoko know piloting?"

"I know basic pilotting, but you're good at getting the big ships to go, and I'm not." Ryoko said.

Vee smiled and slipped a pack of cigarettes into Jessica's hands. "Relax, I won't die."

Jessica smiled and dropped them into her pocket. "Thanks. Well, don't you dare die. You promised me, and best friends never break promises!"

Glenn and Bob stared at each other for a moment, before NeLo broke the silence. "If we're going to do this, then let's not waste any time."

Glenn and Bob shook hands, and the two teams split up--Scooter watching Ryoko go with one of the two bullies, and feeling helpless. At least he had a chance to speak to Vee without Jessica.


BAHH! I couldn't come up with a better ending for this page :(. Gimme a request ehre.
 

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wow i praise you in the correct spelling and what not but i am extremely aghast by how u didnt make them all talk perfectly but how a person of that attitude would realte to others:yes: as a fellow journalist i praise you for that and give u a 10(no one cares but it was great!)
 
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Nothin' wrong with that page ending... ne way keep it up!

CLEAR! *BZZZT* keep the thread alive
 
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Okay. I was going to just reply to keep the thread alive, but instead I wrote the introduction to three characters. Hope you all like it ;D.

I added:
Aaroan, a complete stranger, but I liked his name.
Bra's Briefs, because she's my sister.
Hibiki, a guy with a coolio sig.


Aaroan and Hibiki had been given a precious job by their king. Dalamar wanted all of the human slaves in check, especially the young girl claimed to be V.B.'s younger sister--Bee, as most called her--and they couldn't let her out of sight for even a minute. It was a tough job, and they meant to put their all in it, which is why they were sitting on rocks, absolutely bored, listening the voice singing from the room as they awaited for her exit.

Hibiki was practicing blowing up insects with miniature bombs, and Aaroan was drawing with a piece of charcoal on the restroom door. He made an F, a U, and then a C before the charcoal snapped in half, and hit the concrete by his feet. He groaned, and smashed the rest in his palm. He couldn't take it any longer.

"Are you done yet?" He yelled to the door.

"Not ye-yet!" The little girls voice replied in sing-song.

Another beetle exploded, and Hibiki removed his goggles. "What are you doin'?"

There was some clanging, and they heard the toilet flush. "Almost finished!"

Hibiki pulled a small stick of dynamite from his vest, and looked up at Aaroan. He made an odd expression, and crammed the dynamite up a worm, while still looking at his friend. Aaroan couldn't stand it. So many bugs splattered, such a mess, and that damned little girl was taking to long. His sanity, what little he had, snapped.

"Why are you doing that?"

Hibiki set the worm down, and it began to crawl away with an ackward curve. "That's the fifth time she's flushed, y'know."

Aaroan rolled his eyes, and moaned. She was delaying the enivitable. Hibiki watched the worm go over to the end of the concrete before he pounced at it, and put it back at the beginning. The girl flushed again, and a bit of water came under the door. Hibiki stared at it, and then tugged at Aaroan's sleeve.

"There's water coming out of the door."

"So what?" Aaroan hit his head against the door.

"Weren't there escape holes in there once? Like, loose pieces of wall or somethin'?"

Aaroan stared for a minute before registering what Hibiki had said. They was a clatter in the restroom, and then the sound of running water. Aaroan realized what had happened, and swore under his breath as he tried to open the door. It was stuck. Aaroan screamed and began to kick it. It snapped free from it's hinges and flew open to reveal the flooded restroom with the holes in the wall.

"DAMMIT! Dalamar is gonna kill us!"

"She stopped up the toilet, and then kept flushing it, so that it'd reveal where the escape holes were. Very clever." Hibiki said.

Aaroan stared at Hibiki, unable to move or speak. Dalamar was going to kill them.

"Why'd you let her escape?"

Hibiki smiled and pushed down the detonation button. The worm was sent into oblivion.
 
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Really? THey like it! They REALLY like it! Well, the first one took 10 minutes to write, then the second took eight minutes, then the third one took my 30 minutes, and this one took my 10 as well. BTW, is it Clever or Clevor. My sis says one thing, but I think's the other, and I can't find my dictionary.

I still can't believe it's a hit! O_O :fight:
 
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Just dont let it get too popular...

Remember there are like 3000 members...

Soon they will be like:"Ohh add me!!","I wanna be famous!!"

How can you keep track of every character you have?

and BTW...

"Little man" here called Chitty........

Was just half serious about bieng added...

But thanks anyways.....

Strange how the way i act,i always get stuck as the kid when im really a man..

Anyways Good luck on your FanFic..
Why dont you post a list of the characters with their profecions?
That way we can keep track of the characters roles...
 
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Keeping track of them isn't very hard, but here you all go.


Aaroan, a mercenary (explained later)

Abuu, a rookie pilot for Bob's ship (I need a name for it)

Baku, Starfleet Cadet (BTW for my story, if you haven't noticed, there are only three RANKS. Cadet is what I refer to the fighters, Captains for the leaders of the ships and small groups, and Commander for the leader of them all, really)

B.B., a girl claimed to be V.B.'s sister

Caff, a rookie pilot for Bob's ship

Captain Bob, legendary Starfleet leader

Captain Glenn, Starfleet leader

Captain Howdy, Starfleet leader, and rival of Bob's

Captain Penguin, the captain before Glenn (DECEASED)

Chitenga, the keeper of the Mongrel brothers

Cucumba, one of the two original "kings" of Earth, and terrorist. Was cloned into Gasaraki.

Daemon-Fyre, one of Dalamar's elite

Dagger, one of Dalamar's elite

DaKD, leader of the ESF

Dalamar, "King" of Earth, and terrorist. Clone of Hsu.

Domino, Starfleet doctor

Falcon, one of the two leaders of FROGS

Farago, the eldest Mongrel brother

Gasaraki, one of Dalamar's elite. Clone of Cucumba.

Hibiki, a mercenary, demolitions expert

Hsu, one of the two original "kings" of Earth, and terrorist. Was cloned into Dalamar.

Jessica, a pilot of Glenn's ship, but gets a chance to fight on the field ( :devgrin: )

NeLo, Commander of the Starfleet

Rebirah, the youngest Mongrel brother

Ryoko, leader (technically king or queen) of the Neilan space empire (they live in ships; explained later), and cadet of the Starfleet.

Scooter Briefs, the MALE protagonist, and Starfleet Cadet.

SSJ_ReNe, the carrier ship, and a legendary fighter beyond even Bob.

V.B., the FEMALE protagonist, Starfleet Cadet, and pilot.


And for those who want to know, I plan on adding these names:
Abrophis, Acid, Adros, Bandit, Bangoth, Cancer, Hitokiri.
NO ONE ELSES NAMES WILL BE ADDED, okay?
 
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Jest bumping up my sis' story for her (she won't write till later :rolleyes: ). Bumpety-bumpety-splat!45 arial crimson
 
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Write now! I demandeth yon fanfic!

*psst... dont bump stuff or mods will eat you....*

Well unless you're tricky about it like me :D
 
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Vee smoked her cigarettes, since NeLo was far away, and lost herself in thought. It was odd walking through what was obviously a field mission, and not speaking to Scooter. He was closer to Glenn then she was, and he hadn't attempted any conversations. Was he not quite ready, like she was? Were they both over-reacting? What was it? She had spoken to him freely before, like he was the brother she never had, but now it was a new concept. She couldn't find any reasons not to talk to him, but she also couldn't find any reasons to talk to him.

"Stop being stupid." She told herself.

Domino leaned close, and stared at her cigarette.

"Are you talking to yourself?" He asked, in his British accent.

Vee gave him a glare. "What's it matter?"

"It's...odd. I don't know anyone who calls themselves 'stupid'."

Vee stopped walking, and grabbed Domino's shoulder as he walked by. He brushed off her hand, and wiped the tobacco ash from his shoulders.

"Hey, can I ask ya something?"

Domino nodded.

"If there's someone you like, like a friend or something, and you haven't seen him in awhile, is it...eh, what's the word? Logical? Is it logical to not wanna talk to him?"

Domino thought about for a minute. "Well, I suppose if you had embarrassing feelings towards him or her, it can be justified, but I see no other reason it should be. But," He laughed. "I'm no Shrink, so I wouldn't trust myself for this stuff."

Domino walked on, but Vee just stood there. Embarrassing feelings. Was that what she had for him? Was she embarrassed by something? She shook her head. That can't be it. She had no bad memories, or any arguments, and she definately didn't have any crushes. That boy was about as attractive as a dead skunk.

"V.B.! Keep up." Glenn shouted. Vee didn't jump, even though she was a little startled. "And get rid of those cigarettes!"

Vee grumbled as she broke another perfectly good cig for the sake of Captains.


"Stop bothering me!" Gasaraki said, holding his forehead. Hibiki and Aaroan jumped back as Gasaraki swung his arms at them, trying to get them go away, but they couldn't. They couldn't face Dalamar, and they needed Gasaraki. "Go away!"

"But, who's going to tell Dalamar?" Aaroan whined.

Gasaraki jumped forward, but managed to contain
himself. "V.B. has no sister, and even if she did Dalamar wouldn't have put two bumbling mercenaries in charage of her!"

Hibiki wiped spittle from his goggles. "But, she was real. She really escaped, and the restroom is really flooded. Are you sayin' we're s'posed ta believe she was ghost?"

Gasaraki sighed. He was wearing down.

"Listen, sir." Aaroan said. "Dalamar won't even let us into his room, so why don't you go and tell him?"

"Why would he keep her from me?" Gasaraki asked, almost to no one. "Why would he keep this from me?!"

His anger was just what Aaroan needed to pull off another great Aaroanian plot. He had learned it from Dalamar himself. "Hey, if you bring it up, he'll have to explain."

Hibiki nodded. "Yeah."

Gasaraki pondered it for a moment, then smiled. Of course. Once confronted head-on, Dalamar would have to tell him everything. Gasaraki didn't like being used like the rest of Dalamar's men.

"Yes. I'll go tell him right now." Gasaraki turned to enter Dalamar's big fortress, but turned around and stared at the two mercenaries--bought at a cheap price, messed up many times, but worth Gasaraki's while. "You two stay put."

They both smiled at him and nodded. Suspicious, but Gasaraki didn't care. They waited until he was gone, and made a break for the gates. No way would they face Dalamar's wrath.


Gasaraki ran across the hallways, and up the stairs, entering secret codes and having his eye scanned until he finally reached where Dalamar was. He had his legs folded on his computer's keyboard, and the screen was showing statistics and all the deaths of the slaves. He was smiling, and that was the thing that creeped Gasaraki out. He didn't care about the humans.

Dalamar heard him approach, and swung around. His eyes were covered by his shades again, and Gasaraki wondered why. He was higher in rank than Dagger.

"Hi Gasa, here to report more bad news?" Dalamar said, sounding sarcastic and angry at once.

"Yes. It seems like V.B.'s little sister has escaped." Dalamar frowned as Gasaraki spoke. "Why didn't you tell me that V.B. had a sister, and that we were holding her!"

"Well, I didn't think I should bother you with it. Besides, she isn't V.B.'s sister, persay."

"What do you mean?" Dalamar spun around again--that was
annoying--and presed some keys. It brought up a file. Gasaraki got close and gasped. "She's a clone? Why are you cloning our enemy?"

"I needed to test it. I plan on cloning us, Gasaraki. It will make for better insurance when we die."

"When? Who says we're going to die?"

Dalamar smiled, but it was unpleasant. "Everbody dies sometime, Gasa. It's only a matter of time, and how much Fate is on your side."

Gasaraki looked down. He attached a cord into the main computer, and downloaded the clone files into his handheld. Dalamar didn't object.

Deamon-Fyre burst into the room, growling and dripping with water. "Your mercenaries just escaped!"

Dalamar sighed. "As usual."

"What do you mean?" Gasaraki asked Daemon-Fyre.

"I mean those little twerps just made a run for the hills! AND THAT DAMNED HIBIKI BLEW ME UP!"

Dalamar chuckled, like all evil people do. "It's Gasaraki's fault. Everyone knows that those two find the weakest to fill in for them, and then they run while they have the chance. I knew what they were doing when you came in."

Deamon and Gasaraki looked at each other. "Why didn't you stop them then?"

"Because. Howdy has landed, and I'll just let him finish them off."

"Do we send in our troops?" Daemon asked.

"No. But do set up our defense systems."

Daemon bowed and left. Gasaraki stared at Dalamar, waiting for his computer to finish.

"Why?" Gasaraki asked. "Why the clones? Why wait for Howdy? Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Well, I was sort of cloned from a madman, you know." Dalamar slammed his fist down on the downloading cord, and it jerked Gasaraki forward. "I wouldn't even think about betraying me if I were you, or else you'll wind up like Hibiki's bugs. If you catch my drift."

The computer beeped, and Gasaraki pulled his arm back. He ran for the door, afraid of his old friend.
~~~~
Sorry if this one isn't as good as the others. I'm tired, and I wrote this in like seven minutes. Please, criticize as I go to bed :tired: Oh, and next time I write, I'll get back to Scooter's point of view.
 
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pretty good keep it up VB :yes: i write fanfics too but i know for sure that it wouldnt be such a goood idea to post what i write in a forum eheh
 
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Nice writing
Keep it up :yes: :yes: :yes:
maybe ryiko could draw some pics with it
 
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I'm not getting any more done tonight, busy...day...:tired:...so...hard...being...teenager...:tired: ZzZzZz...
 
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Okay. I decided to make a little something for you people that are waiting. Here goes another quickie:

Scooter listened to the sounds of the planet. It was very quiet, but every now and then you could hear a mechanical buzzing sound, like a computer going. It was odd, but Scoot thought nothing of it, especially since he hadn't been able to hear it over his grumbling stomach. It had been thirty minutes on a planet with gravity, and he was starving to death. All those ships had spoiled him, but he had taken a pack of cheese from the kitchen before they left. Oh, how it sounded good. He pulled the pack from his pocket, and tore off the plastic wrapping. His mouth was watering, and he could smell the cheese, but something was wrong. Something was missing.

Vee noticed his snack, and rubbed at her own stomach. Scooter smiled and offered her some, since they were friends.

"Thanks." She took it and swallowed it whole; Scooter could see it move down her throat.

Baku noticed the cheese too.

"Hey, give me a piece."

Scooter grinned and covered the dairy. "No, I'm not giving you any for shooting me the finger earlier. If you want my food, you gotta have clean hands."

Baku pouted and crossed his arms. "I'm so gon..."

Glenn stepped up, silencing Baku. Glenn took the cheese, and waved it in front of Scooter's face. He didn't feel like eating it anymore.

"Why'd you steal the kitchen's cheese?" Glenn said.

"Because, I like cheese." Scooter said, hoping for a laugh.

Baku rolled his eyes at Scoots excuse, and Vee hit her forehead. Scooter didn't think it was such a funny answer anymore. Glenn pulled the cheese back, and crossed his arms.

"Do you still want it? You have to pay for it."

Scooter smiled. "No, I like my cheese with ham."

Vee rolled her eyes, and Baku hit his forehead this time. Those two were so much alike, and they didn't even know it, but Vee didn't point that out. He grinned sheepishly at Glenn for a moment, before Glenn leaned close, and gave a poker face. Scooter felt giggly inside, and he wondered if it was because he was with his old friend again, and let that giggly side loose. Glenn didn't share the feeling.

"You owe me twenty dollars."

Vee whistled, and Baku laughed.

"Twenty dollars?" Scooter couldn't believe it. "For a small pack of cheese? That's ludicris!"

Glenn frowned at him. "Not after the planets exploded it isn't. Cheese is hard to come across, you little theif."

He flipped the cheese back to Scooter, and walked off. Domino shook his head, and walked off. Nobody though Scooter even had that much. Baku shot him the finger again, and Vee took a small piece of cheese. He grumbled and began to eat it, knowing what was missing. It was the dough.
 
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Originally posted by Vegeta's Briefs

That boy was about as attractive as a dead skunk.

ahaha
why, thank you.

Originally posted by Vegeta's Briefs
Scooter smiled. "No, I like my cheese with ham."

dont we all? :p

:yes: its great. :yes:
 
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Chitenga stared at the two brothers as they slept quietly in their cages. They both looked like abominations, being humanly shaped, but consisting of neverending fur, sharp teeth and claws. He wasn't afraid of them, though. He controlled them. He had raised them since they were born, teaching them everything, and training them to kill; preparing them for the day when they would rule the galaxy. Farago grapsed that, but Rebirah didn't. Dalamar had chosen them because of it, hoping that Rebirah, the strongest but youngest, would follow him obediently. That would be his undoing.

Rebirah rolled over in his cage, and smiled. He was having a pleasant dream, while his brother was thrashing about in a wild nightmare. That's how they always were, and Chitenga hated it. Rebi was so happy all of the time, making jokes, bad puns, and having fun no matter what, but Farago was a grouch, causing trouble and constantly disobeying. Chitenga wanted to strangle Rebirah, and keep Farago, but the two brothers were more loving and faithful to each other than any family Chitenga had seen before. It was sickening, yet touching at the same time.

"Approaching destination." The female computer voice said.

Rebirah and Farago shot awake.

"We're here, boys." Chitenga said.

He jumped over to the computer and loaded up the automatic landing sequence. Farago measured the bars of his cage, while Rebirah sat cross-legged, patiently waiting for Chitenga to open his cell. They both didn't like cages, both believing that they were actually human, but both of them would crawl in whenever Chitenga told them too.

"When can we kill?" Farago asked.

"When we land. We have to find our prey first."

Rebirah leaned back, and began to hum. "I think they've split up."

Farago smiled. "Rebirah knows everything."

Chitenga rolled his eyes. Since they were young, they had both been under the impression that Rebirah was some sort of psychic. Though he had never been wrong, he also had never quite been right. There were many times that something else had happened then what Rebirah had said would. He just never had the heart to tell them that.

"You two want me to split you up, then?"

Rebirah shook his head. "No!"

"No." Farago growled.

"Then, we won't be under the assumption that they split up. We will go one way, and if we find them, then we guessed correctly."

Rebirah and Farago whispered amongst themselves for a minute, then Rebirah said, "Captain Bob went left."

Chitenga growled. "We will decide which way we go when we get there."

They both smiled at each other, and didn't say a word until they landed, and we released into their playground.


Rog could smell the cheese that the young cadet held, and lead DaKD and Falcon in the direction that it was heading. The cheese smelled wonderful, and Rog wanted to lick it, eat it, and digest it, but only after the got rid of the arm that was holding it. She jumped over rocks, and clibed up wall sides, dodging every particle of dust and hazardous obstacles. No way could a pretty kitty like her get dirty before meal time. DaKD and Falcon were behind, both keeping up, but looking tired. They weren't as nimble as her, and the smell of dairy wasn't keeping them inspired. Poor men.

"How much longer until we get there?" Falcon asked.

"Yeah, my legs are killing me!" Dak complained.

Rog didn't turn around as she answered. "Not much father."

They were both silent until Rog came to a stop, and smiled as she spotted Glenn. The poor man was leading his cadets through a dark canel, and it was just perfect for her and her two friends. Falcon and Dak stopped beside her, and smiled. Dak put his hands on his knees to hold him up, and was panting, while Falcon stood up, untouched by their little jog.

"Just perfect." Rog said, taking it to her conscious not to say "purr-fect". "They won't know what hit them."

"Indeed. It shall be quite easy to quell our enemies in their own selection of the battlefield."

"Yeah." Dak said, out of breath. "Should...be...easy..." Dak stood up straight, and took in a deep breath. "Which one is Scooter, and which one is Vee?"

Falcon gave Dak a dirty look. "Well, there is obviously only one female down in the group, so we can assume that she's Vee."

"And Scooter," Rog said. "Smells like cheese."

Falcon raised an eyebrow at Dak, who shrugged. How was he suppose to know?

"Let us ambush them now." Falcon said.

Rog and Dak cheered and started charging. Rog on all fours, claws extended, and Dak unsheathing his laser sword. Falcon, on the other hand, pulled his rifle from his heavy coat, and trained for the one up front, staying up in the dust and rust, like all good snipers would.


The shot echoed as it struck Glenn in the arm, surprising everyone. The laser didn't burn all the way through, but it hit his bone, and it was excrutiating. Scooter had just gotten to him when the cat jumped on him, throwing him to the ground and started a pummeling of strong punches and kicks. Vee and Baku were busy fighting a lizard, and Domino was shot before he even knew what was happening. They weren't prepared. Scooter only realized who the cat was, when she shot him the peace sign.

"Rebel O'Gear?"

"Surprise, cheeseboy." Rog said, kicking him down to the ground. If it was Rog attacking him, then it was Dak attacking Vee and Baku, and Falcon couldn't be too far away. Scooter tried to get up, and she kicked him in the stomach. The world went white, and breath was hard to find, but Scoot managed to crawl up onto his knees. Rog brought her foot down on his back, and he tasted dust. "Don't bother getting up, just me kill you while you're down."

Scoot looked to his left, and saw that Baku was unconscious, but Vee was managing to hold off Dak, and dodge the sniper--Scooter guessed it was Falcon. Vee noticed Scooter was in trouble, but couldn't do anything.

"Die!" Dak said, slashing at her. She used her gun to catch the blade, then moved it down to reflect the shot.

"Not today." She said, slamming her foot into his knee.

He whimpered and let go of the blade, and Vee snatched it in mid-air. She brought the hilt down onto Dak's neck, and he fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Oh no!" Rog said. Scooter saw his chance, and did as Vee did, only he aimed for the back of her legs. Rog screamed and toppled over, giving Scooter just enough time to stand up. She hopped back onto her feet, and screamed. "I am all dirty now! You'll pay for that."

Vee appeared out of nowhere, and slashed at Rog. She dodged, but the blade sliced off a claw. She screamed again, and began to stomp the dirt in a tantrum. The ground began to tremble, the walls were crumbling, and Scoot and Vee lost balance as the dirt beneath them split into two. Rog stared at Vee with glowing cat-like eyes, as she brought her foot down again. The ground became too unstable, and it broke apart completely. The ground and Vee both disappeared, and something hit Scooter's head. His head hurt terribly, and he could hear Glenn saying something, but that was all before he drifted into sleep. Scooter dreamed of Vee, and for some reason, she was telling him how much time flew when they were having fun.

[edit] this actually isn't my first try at action scenes, but it sounds like it is to me. What do you people think?
 

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