Free Force-Pit Access!?!

[MC]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PWpa8IaJtR8&search=dairy%20queen

I'm not usually good with "make me laugh" kind of challenges, but when I saw the link I posted, I thought it was one of the funniest things I've seen.

 

[sub]

http://jesuschristowned.ytmnd.com/

 

[Chang Wufei]

Score:
Dr.Gero-20 - 13
Enix - 1
Zeronightmare - 1
frsrblch - 5
MC - 3 (meh it was ok)
Sub - 15

that ytmnd sub was awsome..i laughed pretty hard

 

[Dr.Gero-20]

heres another,

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

 

[Super Veggeto]

A great sentence to hit on girls:
Nice shoes, wanna F***?


I'll let you know when I find something better -_-;

Edit:
Actually now that I think of it...I wont \o/

 

[KarrdeKNR]

Ok, I have a dumb one for ya then.

So there's this guy, he's going out for his morning jog, and after a few minutes, he hears a voice coming from a few blocks away. As he got closer, he realized it was the voice of an elderly man, and he was screaming "Twenty three! Twenty three!" over and over again. The man decided to investigate, so when he turned the corner, sure enough, there was an old man, jumping up and down on a manhole yelling "Twenty three! Twenty three!" The man was dumbfounded, so he asked "What're you doing that for?!"

The old man stopped jumping for a second, and said "What, this? Well, you see, when you jump on this manhole and yell "twenty three", you're somehow able to jump really, really high, but you've really got to put a lot of effort into it.

The man looked incredulously at him. "Oh come on, like I'd believe that!"

The old man glared at him. "Hah, try it for your self and see!"

The man didn't believe a word of it, but he figured there was no harm in trying. The old man moved aside and the man moved into his place and started jumping. "Twenty three. Twenty three." He said without any effort.

"No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong!" Said the old man. "You've gotta put all yopur effort into it!"

"Twenty three! Twenty three!" The man yelled, hardly getting off the ground.

"No, more! More effort! Jump as hard as you can and scream at the top of your lungs.

Annoyed, the man complied, putting everything he had into his jump, he bellowed "TWENTY THREE!!! TWENTY THREE!!!"

"Yes that's it! Wow, you're jumping even higher than I did!"

Surprised, the man kept it up. "TWENTY THREE!!! TWENTY THREE!!!"

And on his last jump, the old man moved in, and yanked the lid off of the man hole as the younger, most notably dumber man fell into the filthy sewer below. Looking somewhat satisfied, the old man replaced the lid and moved back onto the manhole. Looking about to make sure everything was clear, he began jumping once again. "Twenty four! Twenty four!"



Yeah well, lame, but worth a chuckle ;P

 

[Spunky]

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

 

[Chang Wufei]

Score:
Dr.Gero-20 - 13 (you stay at 13...that last one wasnt funny..it was just dumb =\)
Enix - 1
Zeronightmare - 1
frsrblch - 5
MC - 3 (meh it was ok)
Sub - 15
SupperVeggito - 0 (lame)
Karrade - 3 (i saw it on a commercial once..but it was a little diff..so yeah..)
Spunky - 1

 

[Dr.Gero-20]

dam it was funny to me : D well heres another,

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks and sits each of them on a stool, he looks up at the bartender and says, “Could you mind my ducks while I go use the phone?” The bartender is puzzled, but he doesn't see a problem and agrees to look after the three little ducks.
When the owner of the ducks leaves, the bartender says to the first duck “What's your name?” The duck says, ''My name is Huey.'' And the bartender, an affable fellow, especially around ducks, says, “Hello Huey, how has your day been?” “My day's been great,” answers the duck, “I've been slipping in and out of puddles all day.”

Satisfied, the bartender moves to the next duck and asks the same questions. The second duck replies, “My name is Dewey and I've had a great day; I've been slipping in and out of puddles all day.” The bartender says, ''That sounds nice.''

With this the bartender moved to the third duck and thinks to himself about the first ducks' responses, then says to the third duck, “Don't tell me -- your name's Louie and you've been slipping in and out of puddles all day too.” To which the duck replies, “No. My name's Puddles, and I've had a **** of a day.”

 

[Spunky]

Sunday School

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didnt stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher said "Very good" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didnt even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said "Very good", and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, Ill break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.

 

[Chang Wufei]

Score:
Dr.Gero-20 - 18
Enix - 1
Zeronightmare - 1
frsrblch - 5
MC - 3
Sub - 15
SupperVeggito - 0
Karrade - 3
Spunky - 6
__________________

 

[Spunky]

Materialistic

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the drivers side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I cant believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you dont notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Dont you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Wheres my Rolex!?"

 

[Dr.Gero-20]

yay more points ok heres another : D i could do this forever lol,

The Seven Dwarfs were sitting in a tub feeling happy.

So Happy got up and left.

 

[Chang Wufei]

lol nice one spunky


Score:
Dr.Gero-20 - 19
Enix - 1
Zeronightmare - 1
frsrblch - 5
MC - 3
Sub - 15
Karrade - 3
Spunky - 11

 

[Spunky]

Poor Pirate

One day a Pirate and a bartender were talking to each other in a bar. The Bartender asked the pirate "Where did ya get that peg leg from?"

The Pirate responded "We were sailing the seas when a big 'ol shark came up to me while I was swimmin' and bit off me leg."

Later the Bartender asked "Where did you get that hook then?"

The pirate responded "Well, me crew and I were in a battle and it got cut through the bone."

The bartender then asked "Then where did ya get the eye patch from?"

The pirate said "In a harbor I looked at a gull flying over head and it took a dump right in me eye."

The bartender was puzzled and asked the pirate, "How would that make you get an eye patch?"

The pirate responded, "First day with the hook."

 

[frsrblch]

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm inside the apple you are eating?




A: Being raped.


Q: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?




A: Who knows, they would rather sit in the dark to cut their wrists.

 

[Dr.Gero-20]

dam ok heres another,

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.
Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."

Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."

Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."

At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."

 

[Chang Wufei]

Score:
Dr.Gero-20 - 20
Enix - 1
Zeronightmare - 1
frsrblch - 15
MC - 3
Sub - 15
Karrade - 3
Spunky - 16

 

[Grega]

Just for laughs.

A woman wants to buy a parrot. So she goes to the petshop. There she sees a nice looking parrot but she thinks the price is to high. So the owner shows her a parrot thats 50% cheeper cause it ussed to be in a whore huse.

The woman thinks for a bit but decides to buy it. When she brings teh parrot home the parrot speaks:"New whore huse new mistres". The woman tells teh parrot that she isnt a mistress and that this is a normal huse.

Later the two daughters come home. And the parrot goes off again:"New whore huse new mistres new whores". The daughters feel insulted but take it as a joke lateron.

Than the husband comes home. When the parrot sees him it says:"New whore huse new mistres new whores same coustommers. How are you Frank!"

 

[Spunky]

Cohones de Toro...

A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.

Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"!

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."