Personal Troubles... I'm looking for well thought out input.

[owa]

I'm only 14, my oppinion may not be as important, but I want to add my 2 cents.

Well when I was reading your story I was able to relate it to myself, no I do not have a relationship with anyone, but I do someitmes start to think like you were in the story you told.

Its like you know nothing is happening but deep down your afraid it is, and you feel hopeless. Or you are very sure its not happening, but then you start to think, what if it is? No it can't be, or can it? Its like a circle of stress, and it can get depressing at times [ well for me ]

At times when I like someone and I'm to much of a pussy to ask them out I start trying to act nice, and flirt, but then when I notice other people start to do it I start thinking its hopeless or what if she likes him, or things like this, maybe not exactly like yours but thats the feeling I got from it.

I will say that she prolly isn't interested in the guy, he prolly is though, so you'll have to confront him in a non-angry way just calm and talk like buddies having a bud wtaching a game, don't blame just be friendly.

No not all hope is lost, she is just looking for love and affection, most likely the things you did for her when you lived near her, which is why she is going places with him. I would recommend driving down there first chance you get, and talk to her, then him. Tell her your not mad or jealous just that you have been feeling sorta worried and have a conversation, tell her things like "I know we've been together for so long, and I still love[might be a to strong of word?] you, and I wanna stay together, but I want to know if you and my "J" are having a relationship, I want a straight answer, yes or no, if its a no tell me know so I can move on, if its a yes, then I'm one lucky *******" or somthing to that extent, maybe not the same ending lol.

As Cuc said with you gone so far away she'll want someone to be there, with time of course.

Anyways I'm gonna tell you this, she prolly isn't cheating, "J" may be flirting but she most likely knows were her heart lies, I'm gonan say yiour prolly just getting a bit paranoid cause you care so much for her, happens to me so your not alone in that emotion.

Good luck man!

 

[Deman]

High school relationships hardy turn to anything more than just high school relationships. Although you may feel all the love in the world right now for her, you have to ask yourself, what of the future? So you already know how long distance feels, what happens when the time for college comes?

It is possible for people of the opposite sex to be friends, I happen to have quite a bit of lady friends who are nothing but friends, and the same goes for my girl.

Anyways, to keep this short, all I can do is just ramble on. My only worthwhile advice I can give is, trust your gut, and do what you think would benefit you both. Talking with her and J about this to see what can be done is probably one of the best routes to take.

 

[Sonic the Vampire]

Originally posted by Miroku
High school relationships hardy turn to anything more than just high school relationships. Although you may feel all the love in the world right now for her, you have to ask yourself, what of the future? So you already know how long distance feels, what happens when the time for college comes?

Well a couple of things to note:

1.) I'm not an idiot.
2.) I'm not irrational.

This is getting redundant.

Trust me, she and I and I and most of the rest of the people I know have discussed all of this before, and we continue to do so repeatedly. Entering into this relationship with her I brought up the point you made about High School relationships just not working, and for the last 2 years we've talked about the future, including but not restricted to College and possible future careers.

She is not the only option I've ever had relationship-wise. Before her, though, I was very closed-minded about relationships. The woman I had such a powerful crush on turned out to be someone who was most definitely not whom I thought she was. Too few couples actually sit down and get to know each other forwards and backwards before they engage themselves in a relationship, and I learned this lesson before I ever had to pay the price of failure. Before my girlfriend became my girlfriend we spent several weeks simply getting to know each other. We asked a lot of questions, from the very broad, down to the very personal, about ourselves, our beliefs, our views on relationships and our views on each other. We also discussed far more personal aspects of our own lives, which consist primarily of events that no one would otherwise willingly discuss openly, even with their close friends. Trust me, we truly took quite a bit of time out to get to know each other, and it wasn't until a year after that which we engaged in the relationship. Not only did I take the time to get to know her forwards an backwards, but I took the time to experience her and grow to understand her. This is something that doesn't happen very often anymore with the couples I've seen come and go in what few years I've been paying attention.

We've discussed everything, as I said, including our futures. We may fall apart in time, we both acknowledge that, but we aren't working towards it. Sure, we could dismiss our relationship as doomed, but why construct a self-fulfilling prophesy of disaster? There is always a chance that we could come out of this thing still together and still quite involved with one-another. If we don't work towards that there's just no point in holding a relationship at all. We both fully realize this, and so we aren't viewing our relationship as irrational or expendible.

It is always possible that our values will change in due time, but that wont stop me for working towards a future with her. If at some point, for some strange reason, I have a strange change of heart, I'll discuss it with her then. She would do the same for me. If we do eventually come to breaking up we'll eventually get over it and get on with our lives, but I'm not about to start planning for it. I hope you understand.