Personal Project Help - Stereotypical jokes

[KyoKusanagi]

Sorry if this is in breach of the forum's guidelines - feel free to edit this post or delete it as necessary.

Theres a Russian, an Italian and an Indian.

The Russian says "i went through my daughters room and i found a bottle of vodka, i didn't know she drank!"

The Italian says "Thats nothing! i went through my daughters room and i found a packet of cigarettes, i didn't know she smoked!"

The Indian says "Thats nothing! i went through my daughters room and i found a packet of condoms, she doesn't even have a ****!"

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The origin of this joke is from Australia told to me by a Jewish friend who grew up in Singapore and subsquently speaks better Mandarin than i do. Its supposed to stereotype that Russians drink alot, Italians smoke alot and Indians procreate alot.

 

[PsycHo_DraGoN69]

sorry if you heard this one, but its kind of late and this is all i can remember, i also want to do my share =D ok so here goes....

*highlight for answer*

q: how do you kill a thousand chinese people?

a: throw a penny off a cliff.

q: how do you kill another thousand chinese people?

a: tell them its still down there.

hehe...remembering the first time i heard it, i was laughing like mad.

don't leave any comments saying i'm racist or anything, because guess what? i'm chinese =D

 

[SuperDragonFist]

sorry i couldnt think of anything really good i can just remember something my friend told me

how do you know i asian person has been to your house (highlight for answer)
the computers upgraded and thier still trying to back thier car out of the drive way

 

[niobe]

there are tree kind's of peaple, peaple that can cound and peaple that can't cound.

 

[Moshe Kipod Ham]

You don't know how much ure helping out here. I'll post some if I find a few that are extremely funny . Meanwhile, try to relax about "I know this may sound racist.." statements. As I said above, this thread is aprooved by Cucumba, so as long as ure not spaming, flaming or exagerating everything should be fine .

Here is one classic of the Israeli comical trio "the pale scout" (הגשש החיוור ) :
A russian, a british and a jew are flying in a plane. I the midle of the flight, the Russian takes some caviar out of his bag, eats a little of it and throws the rest out of the window. The jew and the British, suprised, ask "Why did you that for? Isn't that a waste?", and the Russian answer, "Don't worry, I've got tons of it back in Russia". Then, the British guy takes out a bottle of whiskey, drinks a little and throws the bottle out of the window. The Russian and Jew ask him "Why did you that for?", and he says, "Don't worry, I've got tons of it back in England". Suddenly, the Jew takes the Russian, and throws him out of the window. "Why did you do that for?!!". "Don't worry", says the Jew, "We've got lots of them back in Israel!!!".

This joke comes from Israel and is meant to show our treatment to he Russians, and obviously, how their numbers annoyed us ... Nowdays, things are a bit better ;p

 

[Soulicro]

hahaha, that was hilarious kipod, achla bidha. (awesome joke.)

anywho, heres another one. i know you said to calm down, but this is really a bad one about us jews... edit it out if needed.

Edited out due to extremely offensive content...
although im still going to hell...

I know, Im going to hell :z

 

[Moshe Kipod Ham]

hahaha, that was hilarious kipod, achla bidha. (awesome joke.)

anywho, heres another one. i know you said to calm down, but this is really a bad one about us jews... edit it out if needed.
...
I know, Im going to hell :z

I wouldn't go that far but yes, this is kinda what I meant by xagerated. pls earase this post, and I'll erase this one. Well @ least we got an example of whats of limit.... Im might add it to the first post just as an example...


And 4 all mods, I don't think he meant bad so if u can skip that one. It's not like it was meant to be bad (he's an israeli himself...)

 

[Skiwan]

im not here

/and of course i dont mean nothin :], it was jus a joke , like.... thats the whole reason i posted....

 

[Arthos]

Well, the Australians make fun of the New Zealanders, or "Kiwis" as they call them.

Here's the Joke. Its a Tad Sexual. But it's funny and not exagerated.

What is the Mating Call of a New Zealander.

Highlight below for the answer.
BAAAAHHH!!!


Take a Guess at the meaning if you can't figure it out. Take a look at one of New Zealand's largest livestock populations.

 

[Orbit]

What's kkk?
Anyways, another one though I'm not sure I remember it well:
Highlight to see comments.

An American, Israeli, Iraqy(mispelled), and another one (not important, I'll call him #4) are on a plane.
Suddenly the plane stops working, and there are only 3 parachutes.
Then the Amerikan goes like: "We're the cultivated (i think, that's not important) ppl" and he takes a parachute and jumps.
Then the Iraqy goes: "We're the inteligent ppl" and he takes one and jumps.
Then the Israeli says to the other guy (#4): "You can take a parachute"
Then the other guy says: "What about you?"
So the Israeli says: "That's ok. The inteligent guy jumped with a sleeping bag."

 

[Moshe Kipod Ham]

erm, here's one (dont kill meh:'()

wat does the kkk, and nike have in common?

they both make black guys run like ****

This wouldn't be ok, for the mere fact that it doesnm't serve anything. Thisw joke only makes fun of the way black ppl were treated, but is kinda offensive, especialy since it doesn't show any stereotype. So erase that to, pls...

 

[Iyce Da Kidd]

i'm sure david didn't mean anything by it since i'm one his buds who is black with some peurto rican thrown in the pot.

 

[Moshe Kipod Ham]

I know, and I never said that, but the point is it might hurt some ppl. + I need only stereotypical jokes, these jokes are only offensive, (in a funny way, I admit) but don't serve any use...

 

[Nyquist]

An American, Israeli, Iraqy(mispelled), and another one (not important, I'll call him #4) are on a plane.
Suddenly the plane stops working, and there are only 3 parachutes.
Then the Amerikan goes like: "We're the cultivated (i think, that's not important) ppl" and he takes a parachute and jumps.
Then the Iraqy goes: "We're the inteligent ppl" and he takes one and jumps.
Then the Israeli says to the other guy (#4): "You can take a parachute"
Then the other guy says: "What about you?"
So the Israeli says: "That's ok. The inteligent guy jumped with a sleeping bag."

Lol in Portugal we tell that joke with the characters --> Pope, G.W.Bush,someother guy I don't remember (I think it's Bill Gates,but I'm not sure) and a child!
Then in the end it is the Pope and the child who stay for last and the Pope says that the child should take it because he's old, but she says that Bush who claimed to be the smartest and greatest american president, took the child bag so there's no problem!

 

[C VON]

ok heres an old but good one

Q: why do polish battleships have glass floors?

A: so they can see the old ones

 

[Deman]

I know, and I never said that, but the point is it might hurt some ppl. + I need only stereotypical jokes, these jokes are only offensive, (in a funny way, I admit) but don't serve any use...

You really should define what you think of as offensive and stereotypical. Generally, all the jokes I've seen so far, though offensive, do pick on stereotypes, such as Black men seeming to make better athletes than white men and whatnot.

 

[Moshe Kipod Ham]

You really should define what you think of as offensive and stereotypical. Generally, all the jokes I've seen so far, though offensive, do pick on stereotypes, such as Black men seeming to make better athletes than white men and whatnot.

I might have not thought of it this way :/ sry... But thats xactly the reason I need the stereotype its tryin to show, cause otherwise I may think of something wrongly. Though I do stay till fuxplenation with that poizza joke. I don't like ppl laughinw on the holocaust, this is a sensitive thing...

Anyhow gr8 jokes so a far, hope everybody enjoys

edit: sry if I scan u away, but I rly need more jokes.... as I said pls keep it up I know nobody wrote anything to make anyone feel bad and there are so many ppl so pls come