Im lost guys....

[Killface]

Im just gonna come out and say it...

Last Saturday, i went to a party at my friends house. I didn't expect much to happen, maybe a little drinking, but that was about it. Well, i met a girl there, Like one of the hottest chicks i've ever met. We've known eachother for a while, and we'd talk on occasion for like a few minutes at school, then leave.

Anyway, we all decided to go on a walk around the place, at the party. Me and her fell behind everyone else.. and out of nowhere, she was all over me. We were holding hands and stuff and occasionally, she'd hug me and stuff like that.

Well, we got back and both of our parents were coming to pick us up. So we watched a movie downstairs together til they got there. When our parents finally got there... she pulled me into her friends room and we made out for a while. Then we left.

This is my first time i've ever had feelings towards a girl like this, and the first time i've ever gotten that far. (sad, i know) Well, Sunday passed by, and then we go to school monday. Me and her talk about what happened at the party, and i asked her if she wants to go out. Then she said that she wanted to get to kno me better (which has some fuzzy logic to it)... but i agreed and we talked a lot online. ANd i asked her out to the movies Friday night.

Well, each day i'd see her at school, it seemed that she liked me less and less. This started to bug me alot, but i tried to keep my cool. Thursday she missed school, and friday, I missed school. SO i didn't see her for 2 days straight. I was hanging out on friday, i had to stay home, i had a long week... I was on my computer all day waiting for her to get home from school and get on MSN messanger. SHe never did. SO i kept waiting... and she never got on.

Finally i just forgot about it. THen i went over to my friends house hoping i could kill some time. His brother said that he was out at the movies... along with everyone else. THat pissed me off beyond any comprension.

SO i waited online and when everyone got home i talked to her friend on the net. I asked how the movie was... she said it was cool. Then i asked if Tessa (the girl) went to the movies.

THats when she dropped the bombshell on me. She said "Brian.. i.. im really sorry." This got me thinking bad things.. then she said "Im SO sorry Brian, but tessa ran into her ex". ANd i asked if they hooked up... and she said that they kinda did.

Now i really felt it... Tessa got on, and i talked to her about it. I asked her if they hooked up, she said that they kinda are. Then she said that she felt really bad for leading me on. THat just pissed me off even more. But i kept my cool, and told her to not feel bad, and all that i want is for her to be happy and to be with the guy she wants; and that i still care about her.

Then she signed off... and left me there. THen her friend got on and talked to me about it. I asked if Tessa was alright, she said that she's fine. THat didnt make sense to me. SO i asked why she signed off... She said that tessa signed off because i was annoying her. Thats when i got off...



now you all are probably thinking "Security, you big pussy... thats no big deal. People go through that **** all the time" Well, theres a whole list of things that are happening right now... that led up to this.

My grandma just died a month ago, both of my parents are divorcing... and they fight all the time. My mom is cheating on my dad. I get treated like **** nonstop by people at home. I've been having nonstop girl troubles. My grades are in the toilet. I got half of my dads side of the family pissed at me because of something i said. ANd on top of all of that, i found out that my mom was screwed over by a cop last night, and was in jail all night for drunk driving (when she wasnt even drunk). Now she's gonna lose her license, get thousands of dollars in fines, and go to jail.

It got so bad, that last night after i found out about tessa... i was in the weight room and i broke down on the floor crying.. in the weight room. Its embarrassing to see a guy of my size, on the concrete floor of a weight room, crying like a little ***** and not even be able to getup, because he lifted so hard, he cant even move his legs.

Yah, thas what happened to me last night. My whole life is falling apart. I just want it all to end, but i cant. I dont even have the balls to commit suicide... because im too afraid to die.

Now, i dont even like girls anymore. After this situation with Tessa.... im not attracted to anyone else except her. When you have feelings towards someone like this for the first time, and makeout with someone for the first time.... then get it all RIPPED away from you.... it ****s with your head. And on top of all of that, i have 20 other things that are mounting on me.

Im a strong kid, both mentally and physically... but after what happened, i dont kno what to do. I just want to die now, end it all. Im not trying to sound emo, but you guys have to understand where im coming from.

 

[Adaptus]

I think she's the one being selfish and irresponsible.

Stop kicking yourself.

 

[LionHeart]

I think she's the one being selfish and irresponsible.

Stop kicking yourself.

good point indeed, and i guess it sucks more cuz u even kissed her, i could say shes a biotch but u said u still care for her, this is teh toughest situation i have seen in all my life

 

[Killface]

Thanks for understanding guys... I was expecting "Security, you big pussy" or something like that.

But damn, i just cant get this off my mind, its eating me away.

And school is gonna suck monday too, cause thats when im gonna have to take action.

 

[TwisteR]

Listen man, Ive been right where youre at. You probably feel like things cant get any better or any worse. Suicide is definently out of the question, so put that out of your mind, seriousley. My friend couldnt handle life and took matters into his own hands. Its only going to cause more pain and more sorrow to those around you.

This experience with this girl can only make you a wiser person. Yeah, the first time loving and loosing is going to hurt like hell. Ill also admit that I cried when the girl I fell in love with had to move out of the state. (she told me one week before she moved that she also had feelings for me, I had no ****ing idea)

Its hard to deal with, but like I said it can only make you a wiser person. I lived with a girl for 6 months and let me tell you Im a million times smarter than I was before I moved in. Theres just some girls that are misleading and live in the moment and dont take a second to think how youre going to feel after the night is over. She was being a little selfish in leading you on like that. Think about it, if you did start to date this girl, could you trust her? If she hooked up with you that night, maybe she would have done the same thing with another person while you two were dating. Then again I dont know this girl so, Im just speaking from experience.

If you do talk to her, just keep calm, youre the victim. Just get what youre going to say, say it and be done. Dont drag it out and turn it into something bigger than it is. I know its easier said that done, but dont let it get to you. Youre probably better off without that stress in your life.

 

[Killface]

If you do talk to her, just keep calm, youre the victim. Just get what youre going to say, say it and be done. Dont drag it out and turn it into something bigger than it is.

I think i might've already goofed up last night when I kept tellin her that im gonna be fine and for her to stop worrying. Then she got annoyed and signed off.

I dont wanna admit it, but i think im still in this mess for the long haul.

 

[.Guzzie.]

Wow,man.I read that whole thing...and...bro...you seriously have to chill.Life is to precious to lose like that.Seriously,JUST STOP and think.It seems like your rushing life.Just keep your cool and think for a while.Think of ways to improve your situation. I feel soo sorry for you mate,like....it doesnt get any worse than that and I fully understand what your saying.Try and...hang out with some friends.Thats what I tend to do,cause if theres one thing that i've learnt ,is that a "true friend" will always be by your side helping you out.Forget about the girls and try to be a bit optimistic about things and if your having any more problems go seek out for some adivce from people who you can "trust"

Get better mate!!!

-GuZzie

 

[TwisteR]

Trust me, she probably knows you feel like **** and just arent saying it. Theres no reason why this should drag on, whats to drag on? Yeah she treated you like crap but thats no reason to keep the bull**** going.
If you talk to her again on the net or whatever, just tell her how she made you feel. All she can do is apologize, and feel bad for what happened, which isnt going to amount to the pain that youve endured, Im sure.

 

[Chakra-X]

Thanks for understanding guys... I was expecting "Security, you pig pussy" or something like that.

What reason would we have to seriously say that? It's not illegal to have emotions.

I'm no psychologist, but with this pessimstic way of thinking, how do you expect things to get better if you can't feel better? The single mentioning of 'ending it all' is unnecessary. Obviously I can't know your complete situation, but I believe the girl can be classified as a "*****"? Unless there are circumstances which were hidden from you/us, from what I see, for her to completely disregard you is very low.

You fell for her illogical acts, not your fault, but don't let her see that it has crippled you. Even if she shows pity, **** it, she's the last person you need pity from. Even if she is seriosuly sorry, unless she had a breakthrough, a full acceptance of her apology is being generous.

And for the other problems, if you fix or confront them, try to. If not, do not let that affect your overall mood or else it's going to be harder to feel positive.

 

[SaiyanPrideXIX]

Women are by nature liars and predators.

"Beware the labian coitess."

They enjoy the power they can wield over us as simple men. I find that almost always, when a girl acts the way you describe in the story, it is for some secret arcane motive that no man will ever understand. You must remember that attraction is not only a part of love, but it is also part of the hunt, too--and nothing can attract and take down prey faster than a hot girl. Nothing.

I've seen hot girls all around me. I've seen them destroy a boy just because they can, I've seen them change their personalities so completely that other people can't even recognize them, of the 13 bands I've been in more than half were destroyed because of a girlfriend; I knew a girl once who coerced a bunch of people to beat the crap out of her boyfriend by saying he hit her when he in fact never did. I see pretty girls on the highway all the time when I go to work, and I observe as they drive like the world around them will wait its turn. In my entire life I have never heard a pretty girl sincerely say she was sorry for anything that mattered--because why should she be sorry? Obviously it was no fault of her's.

Here are some ****ed up stories to show what I mean:

I was in a very similar situation to this once, in fact it happened rather exactly. My problem stemmed from another girl at the gathering who liked me and was jealous I was hanging on her super cool redhead friend. Embittered, the girl told her friend that I was a "playa" and I was only trying to get into her pants, and that the whole time I was talking to the redhead I was also trying to solicit her for sexual stuff, etc.

None of it was even remotely true. But the redhead bought it. In pairs they travel, and in words they place much stock.

Another girl, who I devoted much of my adult life to, fell in love with me long ago. We had the most incredible relationship; every moment of it we were having so much fun, we talked every night for nearly eight years and did not once have a moment of silence, nor did we go more than fifteen minutes without having a laughing fit of joy.

That girl broke up with me several times and regularly started dating other guys whenever it looked like we were on the verge of getting back together. It didn't matter what they were like, whether they were good for her or whatever else--she just got with them at the last minute to lock out ending up back with me. Why? When people ask her, she can't give an answer--except that she is full of regret.

But she changes nothing. Why? I have not spoken to this girl--who was by far the best friend I ever had--in two and a half years. She still haunts my dreams and memories; I used to just break down after every time I saw her because of how horrific the thought was of not seeing her again for months at a time.

But over time I realized the pattern. It took me a long time, but I finally get it. I think she loved me as much as I loved her, but it's just that which makes her stay away. She fights these feelings all the time; most of the time I spent with her even after we broke up, she was with me and the love was still radiant in both of us.

It was "too perfect" and that's why she had to sell me out on so many occasions. For cokeheads, for abusive jerks, for egomaniacs, or whatever other placeholder boy was at hand.

They try to change us, or manipulate us, or just make us dance to their whimsical illogical desires. I know a girl who did something similar to what happened to you--and when I confronted her about it (I had to corner her), she finally confessed to me that she'd done it "because she wanted to see what would happen." This same girl told me she was in love with me, while simultaneously she hung out with most of my worst enemies and claimed I was a psycho stalker who wouldn't leave her alone. The SAME girl was cheating on me with 5 other people--Count'em, FIVE.

Another girl I knew for years, I was crazy about her and she was for me, and when we finally kiss, it was because she wanted to see what it would be like. I thought it was a passionate, great kiss--the beginning of something special. I thought our longstanding feelings for one another--which had always been out in the open, plain for all to see--were finally coming to a head. I tried to talk to her about it a couple of days later and she reacted as if it had been the most unemotional moment in her life; "I just wanted to see how you did it," she told me. "There was no...connection. I don't know why you would even think that." I thought it was one of the best kisses I've ever had in my life. Then she hits me with, "I mean...it wasn't even that good a kiss."

Six months later, this same girl is in my bedroom stripped down to just her panties, because she wants me to put basitracin on her tattoo across her shoulderblades (of another dude's name, a dude she'd been living with, that she met off of ****ing hotornot.com). So there she is, no clothes on, breasts all hanging all over the place, and I do the basitracin, and what do you think the first thing she asks me is? "Am I making you hard right now?"

I said no, and I was proud of it. This girl had been living with a stranger she pretty much hated for the past two years and she had all but stopped talking to me. I was on to her game; every few months she would come see me and because of our great friendship--which was rapidly dying, on my end--I would make her feel better about how she ruined her life to move out of state with some dude she hardly knew. Plus I was still pissed about the kissing incident a year earlier, believe it or not.

When we were much younger, (like 17-18ish), this SAME girl asked me to show her my gear, "because I want to show you my nipple piercings and I think it's only fair." So I did what any guy would do if a pretty girl made that offer and did it. Nothing came of it, nothing happened, and for years it wasn't brought up (because like the other ***** I mentioned earlier, this one promptly got a 340 pound pillhead abusive boyfriend and stopped talking to me).

Years after the fact, it's about six months after the incident in my house with the bacitracin, and she's decided to move back home to here in MA, and we're out with a bunch of mutual friends. After openly criticizing me for being too devoted to that girl I mentioned above, she then tells us about how she is getting rid of a $900 dollar bedroom set and her BRAND NEW CAR because they "remind her too much" of the boyfriend she'd just left to come home. Everyone in the group was sympathetic except me, because I figured, how is that any different from what she was just *****ing at me about? I said as much, and somehow she gets on that I was jealous of the dude she used to be with. So I'm getting defensive, cause she's like, embarassing me in front of all these people. And then she says, "Puh-LEASE! Everybody knows you wanted to have sex with me!" Now at this point I'm furious, but I'm trying to maintain my dignity, so I was just like, "Well what about you? We liked each other for all that time, don't tell me the thought never crossed your mind." THEN she brings up the time I showed her the ol' cash and prizes. She leaves out the part where she asked me to, and she asked me to see her jugs first--even told me I could touch'em. Nope, she left all that out, and made it out like I just whipped my jock out one day and she brushed me off about it. In a rage I yelled "You ASKED Me to do that!"

"No I didn't."

"You did, you showed me your nipple piercings and told me that now I had to show you!"

"What? No!" Then she proceeds to tell this CAR FULL OF STRANGERS about what happened that day--completely incriminating me, and making me look like a pervert. "Oh yeah," she says, "He just came out strutting around, I told him he was gross but he wouldn't stop," she says.

In my defensive attempts, I bring up the basitracin incident.

She responds that she "would never come see another guy while she was with Jae" [the guy she was moved in with]. Then her friends start ragging me and reprimanding me, one of her girlfriends starts asking about my jock. She said, "It really wasn't that impressive," which was interesting considering she used to harass one of my girlfriends for details about it, and used to tell me in detail all kinds of ****ed up things for a girl with a boyfriend to be telling a guy with a girlfriend. Of course that had been back in the day with a girl no one talked to anymore so I had no one to back up my story; she made me look like a pervert, a jerk, and a fool--masterfully, at that.

(You know I've never written that last one out, that is a pretty ****ed up story now that I see it all in it's entirety...)

It may seem like a cynical view; but all I'm trying to say is there are myriad destructive forces at work behind the seemingly innocent facade of girls, a lot of the time. All we can do as the herded sheep we are is learn to adapt, and to discern from our mistakes how to avoid emotional destruction when next we meet another.

Girls, first and foremost, are predators. Understand that. We're sheep to them. They lead us where they want, make us do what they want. When you find one who isn't like this at all--which, I've only found one of in my life--you latch on and you do everything in your power to keep her.

Cause it's one ****ed up jungle out there man. And it'll eat you alive if you don't watch yourself. Fight it with every fiber of your being, or be destroyed--there is no other option.

(In other words...**** that C-U-Next-Tuesday.)

 

[Dirty]

sorry to tell you this, but you kinda walked into it, at parties, you can do crazy ****, and it wont even matter the next day, or maybe it will. Like i went to a concert made out with this girl a couple times, and i like didnt even sweat it, and it was my first time to make out, next day, saw the girl and was just like, what ever, but our situations are differnt, i like/liked someone back then and it wasnt her ( i just needed to make out), any way, when you asked her out, and she said she wanted to get to know you better, that usually means, you're cool and i want to be freinds, but i dont want to be your girl friend. UNLESS, she shows alot of signs of attraction (i.e. always wanting you around, talking to you , stuff like that) if not, try and get on with your life, i know it's ****ing hard, i'm dealing with it first hand...well in a totally different way that i wont get into.

hope you can get over her, the other **** in your life,,, all i can say is, try and let THEM deal with it, because it;ll just depress you more.

 

[Killface]

UNLESS, she shows alot of signs of attraction (i.e. always wanting you around, talking to you , stuff like that).

She did do that... I'd be walking in the hallway, then out of nowhere, she'd grab me by the arm, give me a hug and tell me to walk with her. She'd do stuff like that to me. That is the kind of stuff that confuses the hell out of me.

Pride - Dude, you've opened up a whole new perspective for me. It doesnt make sense though to me. I can understand older women doing that to guys... But i cant see Tessa doing that to me... she's 15 years old, i mean, she just turned 15 on Tuesday. That seems a little young for her to be thinking that way... but i guess i have no choice but to watch out for now on.

I've gotten the thoughts of suicide out of my mind, and i do think im turning back to the old "Hardassed, Cold hearted Bastard" that i used to be.

I would tell Tessa how she made me feel... but i dont want to make an enemy in highschool. Its already bad enough there, why make it worse. Im just hoping me and her can be friends, start over, and pretend this never happened. I just... I dunno.

 

[ZeroNightmare]

walmart i met a girl at a party and i thought i was having a good time and that we would hit it off, but after one or 2 times of hanging out it was like bleh...

i think you should move on my friend.

and dont tell girls how you feel. they dont like that. ex: I love you (weve known each other for like 3 days)

at least thats been my observational experience.

 

[MC]

Now i really felt it... Tessa got on, and i talked to her about it. I asked her if they hooked up, she said that they kinda are. Then she said that she felt really bad for leading me on. THat just pissed me off even more. But i kept my cool, and told her to not feel bad, and all that i want is for her to be happy and to be with the guy she wants; and that i still care about her.

Then she signed off... and left me there. THen her friend got on and talked to me about it. I asked if Tessa was alright, she said that she's fine. THat didnt make sense to me. SO i asked why she signed off... She said that tessa signed off because i was annoying her. Thats when i got off...

She probably got annoyed that you didn't appear to be angry or jealous, be glad you kept your cool otherwise she would have you in the palm of her hand. A girl like her doesn't like it when they can't manipulate someone. I know this very well from my experiences with the opposite sex. Whenever I would have emotional outbursts, they would use it against me and enjoy every second of it. It took a while until I learned to keep my cool which in turn annoyed the girl I was speaking to at the time.

I would tell Tessa how she made me feel... but i dont want to make an enemy in highschool. Its already bad enough there, why make it worse. Im just hoping me and her can be friends, start over, and pretend this never happened. I just... I dunno.

Forget about her. I've had situations with girls that have left me the one apologizing and asking to still be friends, which to this day I regret doing though none of those girls are my friends anymore. By not trying to start over and becoming friends with her again, she will see what she did was wrong, thus have to live with it. It might not affect her that much but it will at least leave a mark, a little reminder. Just move forward and leave her to do her own thing while you go out and do yours. She'll eventually see what she missed out on and who she blew it with.

It got so bad, that last night after i found out about tessa... i was in the weight room and i broke down on the floor crying.. in the weight room. Its embarrassing to see a guy of my size, on the concrete floor of a weight room, crying like a little ***** and not even be able to getup, because he lifted so hard, he cant even move his legs.

Crying is better than keeping everything bottled up inside until it consumes you. Just be sure what you're crying for is worth the tears.

Take a break from weight lifting until you feel ready to continue, the last thing you want to do is bring emotions into your training (especially if they are hard to control) which can cause you to severely injure yourself. I don't mean disrespect with this, but I've injured myself plenty of times simply because I brought my emotions into my training.

There's a million girls out there, a million chances of finding the right one for yourself.

 

[Kurt`]

*Personal attack removed.*

Kurt, no more **** like this. Period, I don't care what your problem with people is, if you violate the rules, you will be warned, your post removed, and the logical course of actions that follow will follow.

-Cucumba

 

[Pieter Paul Rubens]

*removed*

I thought I told you to stay the course on not being inflammitory. Apparently I was wrong.

-Cucumba

 

[Optimus Prime]

Walmart, I'll be straight with you.

This is how I see it, you're 16, so you obviously havn't had a significant amount of experience with emotion and the opposite sex, and this isn't an attack on you, just a broad generalisation of most 16 year olds. Trust me, we've all been there. A hot girl gives us some attention, in your case, she made out with you, and then, for some reason, our hearts tell us we're in love and she's the only girl in the world that matters.

It's the simplest case of infatuation, and I'm sure more than one of us has been there. You're still young, and a lot of hot chicks are going to come into, and out of your life, just don't get stuck on the first you think is gonna touch your penis, you'll find the one who is right for you.

And from the sound of this b-rod's antics, it wouldn't have been worth it in the long run anyways.

 

[Almighty_Gir]

feel that bulge in your pants? thats where your head is right now.

that is all.

 

[majin uub]

had this happen to me.....and personally i stil havent recovered......now i find myself not giving a **** for anyone except myself......everyday my friends ask me if iv been doing drugs because the look of a nice, centered person has left my eyes and i just have this look of being stoned now....so deal with the pain however you want..just remember this....LOVE IS A LIE

 

[broli]

Wait wait...you're 16.............that explains EVERYTHING. Stack 50 bucks in your wallet, go to the red district, have a good time and come back to tell us how you feel about tessa,tissa,tossa...who?...