New Member
Im just gonna come out and say it...
Last Saturday, i went to a party at my friends house. I didn't expect much to happen, maybe a little drinking, but that was about it. Well, i met a girl there, Like one of the hottest chicks i've ever met. We've known eachother for a while, and we'd talk on occasion for like a few minutes at school, then leave.
Anyway, we all decided to go on a walk around the place, at the party. Me and her fell behind everyone else.. and out of nowhere, she was all over me. We were holding hands and stuff and occasionally, she'd hug me and stuff like that.
Well, we got back and both of our parents were coming to pick us up. So we watched a movie downstairs together til they got there. When our parents finally got there... she pulled me into her friends room and we made out for a while. Then we left.
This is my first time i've ever had feelings towards a girl like this, and the first time i've ever gotten that far. (sad, i know) Well, Sunday passed by, and then we go to school monday. Me and her talk about what happened at the party, and i asked her if she wants to go out. Then she said that she wanted to get to kno me better (which has some fuzzy logic to it)... but i agreed and we talked a lot online. ANd i asked her out to the movies Friday night.
Well, each day i'd see her at school, it seemed that she liked me less and less. This started to bug me alot, but i tried to keep my cool. Thursday she missed school, and friday, I missed school. SO i didn't see her for 2 days straight. I was hanging out on friday, i had to stay home, i had a long week... I was on my computer all day waiting for her to get home from school and get on MSN messanger. SHe never did. SO i kept waiting... and she never got on.
Finally i just forgot about it. THen i went over to my friends house hoping i could kill some time. His brother said that he was out at the movies... along with everyone else. THat pissed me off beyond any comprension.
SO i waited online and when everyone got home i talked to her friend on the net. I asked how the movie was... she said it was cool. Then i asked if Tessa (the girl) went to the movies.
THats when she dropped the bombshell on me. She said "Brian.. i.. im really sorry." This got me thinking bad things.. then she said "Im SO sorry Brian, but tessa ran into her ex". ANd i asked if they hooked up... and she said that they kinda did.
Now i really felt it... Tessa got on, and i talked to her about it. I asked her if they hooked up, she said that they kinda are. Then she said that she felt really bad for leading me on. THat just pissed me off even more. But i kept my cool, and told her to not feel bad, and all that i want is for her to be happy and to be with the guy she wants; and that i still care about her.
Then she signed off... and left me there. THen her friend got on and talked to me about it. I asked if Tessa was alright, she said that she's fine. THat didnt make sense to me. SO i asked why she signed off... She said that tessa signed off because i was annoying her. Thats when i got off...
now you all are probably thinking "Security, you big pussy... thats no big deal. People go through that **** all the time" Well, theres a whole list of things that are happening right now... that led up to this.
My grandma just died a month ago, both of my parents are divorcing... and they fight all the time. My mom is cheating on my dad. I get treated like **** nonstop by people at home. I've been having nonstop girl troubles. My grades are in the toilet. I got half of my dads side of the family pissed at me because of something i said. ANd on top of all of that, i found out that my mom was screwed over by a cop last night, and was in jail all night for drunk driving (when she wasnt even drunk). Now she's gonna lose her license, get thousands of dollars in fines, and go to jail.
It got so bad, that last night after i found out about tessa... i was in the weight room and i broke down on the floor crying.. in the weight room. Its embarrassing to see a guy of my size, on the concrete floor of a weight room, crying like a little ***** and not even be able to getup, because he lifted so hard, he cant even move his legs.
Yah, thas what happened to me last night. My whole life is falling apart. I just want it all to end, but i cant. I dont even have the balls to commit suicide... because im too afraid to die.
Now, i dont even like girls anymore. After this situation with Tessa.... im not attracted to anyone else except her. When you have feelings towards someone like this for the first time, and makeout with someone for the first time.... then get it all RIPPED away from you.... it ****s with your head. And on top of all of that, i have 20 other things that are mounting on me.
Im a strong kid, both mentally and physically... but after what happened, i dont kno what to do. I just want to die now, end it all. Im not trying to sound emo, but you guys have to understand where im coming from.
Last Saturday, i went to a party at my friends house. I didn't expect much to happen, maybe a little drinking, but that was about it. Well, i met a girl there, Like one of the hottest chicks i've ever met. We've known eachother for a while, and we'd talk on occasion for like a few minutes at school, then leave.
Anyway, we all decided to go on a walk around the place, at the party. Me and her fell behind everyone else.. and out of nowhere, she was all over me. We were holding hands and stuff and occasionally, she'd hug me and stuff like that.
Well, we got back and both of our parents were coming to pick us up. So we watched a movie downstairs together til they got there. When our parents finally got there... she pulled me into her friends room and we made out for a while. Then we left.
This is my first time i've ever had feelings towards a girl like this, and the first time i've ever gotten that far. (sad, i know) Well, Sunday passed by, and then we go to school monday. Me and her talk about what happened at the party, and i asked her if she wants to go out. Then she said that she wanted to get to kno me better (which has some fuzzy logic to it)... but i agreed and we talked a lot online. ANd i asked her out to the movies Friday night.
Well, each day i'd see her at school, it seemed that she liked me less and less. This started to bug me alot, but i tried to keep my cool. Thursday she missed school, and friday, I missed school. SO i didn't see her for 2 days straight. I was hanging out on friday, i had to stay home, i had a long week... I was on my computer all day waiting for her to get home from school and get on MSN messanger. SHe never did. SO i kept waiting... and she never got on.
Finally i just forgot about it. THen i went over to my friends house hoping i could kill some time. His brother said that he was out at the movies... along with everyone else. THat pissed me off beyond any comprension.
SO i waited online and when everyone got home i talked to her friend on the net. I asked how the movie was... she said it was cool. Then i asked if Tessa (the girl) went to the movies.
THats when she dropped the bombshell on me. She said "Brian.. i.. im really sorry." This got me thinking bad things.. then she said "Im SO sorry Brian, but tessa ran into her ex". ANd i asked if they hooked up... and she said that they kinda did.
Now i really felt it... Tessa got on, and i talked to her about it. I asked her if they hooked up, she said that they kinda are. Then she said that she felt really bad for leading me on. THat just pissed me off even more. But i kept my cool, and told her to not feel bad, and all that i want is for her to be happy and to be with the guy she wants; and that i still care about her.
Then she signed off... and left me there. THen her friend got on and talked to me about it. I asked if Tessa was alright, she said that she's fine. THat didnt make sense to me. SO i asked why she signed off... She said that tessa signed off because i was annoying her. Thats when i got off...
now you all are probably thinking "Security, you big pussy... thats no big deal. People go through that **** all the time" Well, theres a whole list of things that are happening right now... that led up to this.
My grandma just died a month ago, both of my parents are divorcing... and they fight all the time. My mom is cheating on my dad. I get treated like **** nonstop by people at home. I've been having nonstop girl troubles. My grades are in the toilet. I got half of my dads side of the family pissed at me because of something i said. ANd on top of all of that, i found out that my mom was screwed over by a cop last night, and was in jail all night for drunk driving (when she wasnt even drunk). Now she's gonna lose her license, get thousands of dollars in fines, and go to jail.
It got so bad, that last night after i found out about tessa... i was in the weight room and i broke down on the floor crying.. in the weight room. Its embarrassing to see a guy of my size, on the concrete floor of a weight room, crying like a little ***** and not even be able to getup, because he lifted so hard, he cant even move his legs.
Yah, thas what happened to me last night. My whole life is falling apart. I just want it all to end, but i cant. I dont even have the balls to commit suicide... because im too afraid to die.
Now, i dont even like girls anymore. After this situation with Tessa.... im not attracted to anyone else except her. When you have feelings towards someone like this for the first time, and makeout with someone for the first time.... then get it all RIPPED away from you.... it ****s with your head. And on top of all of that, i have 20 other things that are mounting on me.
Im a strong kid, both mentally and physically... but after what happened, i dont kno what to do. I just want to die now, end it all. Im not trying to sound emo, but you guys have to understand where im coming from.