Suicide is a fool's errand. Life sucks but you know what? When I became a fan of DBZ it changed my outlook.
In fact, my outlook is almost directly related to DBZ in the sense that I feel like I should kick the ever loving **** out of everything in my way. And why shouldn't I? If something is hurting people I care about or putting them in a rough spot, I am all over it.
You have to have some kind of...well...pride. The way I look at it, I've felt that way before, and you know what, it sucks, cause you perpetually convince yourself that you're just a poor ****ty victim of circumstance and that a series of bad luck-ridden scenes played out against you over the months and years and that you are just destined for nothing.
Yeah. I won't lie. The thought cropped up in my head plenty of times. But my friends would be concerned, and they would say to me, "Come on, don't talk like that," and I always would tell them not to worry.
Then they'd ask why I'd say/think something like that. I'd give them whatever reason it was at the moment, which was usually, "well it would make a lot more sense, it's certainly got to be easier than this."
Then they ask me why, if I talk like that, should they not worry. And I always said the same thing to that--"I'm not about to go out like a *****." I was never a quitter at anything, and that's carried over into EVERY part of my life.
I can understand someone feeling suicidal...but...to want to...to turn it into a performance...a spectacle...that person isn't suicidal. That person is insane, and very sick. Whoever that is, wants to kill himself to see how many people who know him will be prepared to stop him. He wants to feel wanted, needed, and he wants to make a spectacle of it, and I find that utterly disgusting.
Even when I was down...there were things I had going for me...cause I made them. I'm a writer--I didn't just know how to do that from birth!! I learned, I taught myself, and I read. And no matter how ****ty my life got, I had my excuse to keep going--there were plenty more stories to be written.
This HAS to be a publicity stunt. I mean...it's just...terrible. Perverse. Twisted. Suicidal tendencies are a reality that we all can't escape in our daily world, but you know what, I'm pretty sure that it's just a blatant mockery of all creation to treat such an act as part of some lame band's crusade for a gimmick.
Hopefully he'll commit suicide Al Qaeda style, and blow up the building, taking that sick, tasteless band and all of those worthless bloodthirsty fans with him.