Fan Fiction: Raziel's New Journey

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I was bored today so I decided to type some fan fiction, I hope you like it all, and more chapters are comming soon, and please remember I'm doing this fun, so I don't care about your opinion really :p

Raziel’s New Journey
A Story based on Soul Reaver written by DPredator

Chapter 1: A Strange Time

In a dark crypt somewhere located in New York, Raziel awoke from his centuries long slumber. Raziel awoke to find out that he and his crypt where held in a museum, violently Raziel broke the glass and freed himself from his glass prison. He noticed he still was the host of the symbiotic Soul Reaver “It seems that the Soul Reaver after all these centuries still is a part of me”. Raziel looked around looking at the strange architecture “In what kind of place did I end up?” Raziel asked himself while he further examining the room. “All I remember that since my fight with Kain, I turned out to be the victor and then out of nowhere the Serafan overwhelmed me, and put me in a crypt where I was held captive for all these centuries, somehow the crypt disabled the Soul Reaver with some kind of magic, and by that magic I could also not return to the spectral realm, I decided I’d just give up, and fall into a deep slumber hoping that I might die, but now after all these centuries I see myself here walking again”. Raziel noticed a door which would surely lead him outside the building, he kicked out the door and the museum alarm started to ring “What kind of trickery is this?” Raziel asked himself, Raziel fled to the roof of the museum, to hear the sirens of approaching police cars. Raziel once again observed his surrounding “What happened during all this time I was asleep” while he was glaring at the towering skyscrapers “It looks mankind found a way to reach the clouds”. Police cars had arrived the museum, Raziel decided to kill a police offer in order to satisfy his need for Souls and to regain his strength, armed with the Soul Reaver Raziel approached the police offers one of the police offers started to shoot “Freeze” as soon as the police offer caught a glimpse of Raziel he froze, Raziel quickly disposed of the police offer and ate his soul, Raziel could feel his strength return “As soon as I ate his soul I could feel my strength coming, he didn’t look like a Serafan or one of Moebius’s Vampire Hunters, and he was weak as well” Raziel continued his journey for New York “What has this world come to? People are walking the streets at night, as if they are not afraid to be slain by the Serafan or by a Vampire”. Raziel crossed a street and he got hit by a car the owner of the car didn’t stop and started to drive even harder “What kind of horse is that? I’ve never seen a horse that could go as quick as that”. Raziel continued to explore the streets of New York, until he caught sight of a what he believed was a pub, Raziel decided to enter the party club, one of the bouncers promptly stopped him from entering the club “You first have to pay to enter the club mister!” Raziel replied with “What is this pay thing?” when the bouncer caught a glimpse of Raziel “Oh, you’re a vampire aren’t you? Vampires are allowed to enter for free, I’m sorry sir” while Raziel entered the club he noticed a dozen of Vampires drinking blood from wine glasses, Raziel approached one of the Vampires “Tell me Vampire, what is this charade?” the Vampire replied with “This is a club for Vampires and a like you can get free blood here without killing people and you can party all night here”. Raziel inspected his environment more while noticed none other then…. Vorador…

End of Chapter 1
 
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Hold up... did he wake up in a museum?
He should have woken up in like... a desert or graveyard, not a museum!
 
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Interesting little tidbit. The grammar was, um, terrible, and you could really use some paragraphs in there (my brain automatically shuts down after 12 lines without an indent/double space), but all in all quite interesting.

I especially liked the deadpan comment of the bouncer, "Oh you're a vampire aren't you?" said with the same inclination of "I just washed my car."
 
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Pretty neat, so far. When you told me you made a Soul Reaver Fan-Fic, I was expecting a typical, Nosgoth setting, but this was a neat surprise.

And Death Biscuit, don't scruitinize his grammar, English isn't his first language, and if I may say so, he worked around that very well.

Hope the rest goes well, DP!
 
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Majin_You said:
And Death Biscuit, don't scruitinize his grammar, English isn't his first language, and if I may say so, he worked around that very well.
Normally I wouldn't, but when you're writing something lengthy like a story poor grammar and prose can really ruin the reading experience, especially for stupid people with limited attention spans like myself. Perhaps I'm just more anal retentive, though, because I used to teach English. In any case, you're right. He did a pretty good job if English isn't his first language.
 

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