Chuck Norris Facts

[DiebytheSword]

I loved the Mr. T one:

"Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him."

Word.

 

[~*Logan*~]

If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger changed your life...



....yoooooou might be a Redneck...

 

[Synth]

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
-

Walker ftw

 

[Zeonix]

In 1959 Stephen Hawking became the first and only person to outsmart Chuck Norris. He learned his lesson.

Chuck Norris circumcised himself. At birth. With his bare hands.

 

[owa]

Isn't this just a rip off of the Vin Diesel stuff, it isn't funny anymore.

 

[jagan]

LOL, I find the chuck norris one funnier than vin diesel and Mr.T... LOL

 

[bile]

Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

lmao.

thats the best one right there.