(Boredom made me wonder what it'd be like if Dragonball Z was based on ESF, rather than the other way around. This is what happens when you have too much spare time on your hands.)
---
The CELL GAMES
Announcer: damn this server has been empty a long time
Announcer: who will fite cell?
** Hercule has joined the game
Announcer: omg its hercule
Hercule: sup
Announcer: the world is saved it is teh strongest man on earth
Hercule: i am going to pwn you cell
Cell: lol
** Vegeta has joined the game
Announcer: who r u?
Hercule: he is prob. one of my fans!!111
Announcer: u rule hercule
** Android 16 has joined the game
Announcer: who is this guy?!/1?1/?
Hercule: another one of my fans lol
Hercule: i am teh best
** Goku has joined the game
** Gohan has joined the game
** Piccolo has joined the game
** Trunks has joined the game
** Tien has joined the game
** Yamcha has joined the game
** Krillin has joined the game
Hercule: WTF
Goku: time to die cell!!!1111
Cell: lol
Cell: who is first??
Krillin: my ping is too high, goku go first
Goku: k
Hercule: i am first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hercule: u r going down cell
Cell: lol
** Cell killed Hercule with melee
Hercule: scripter!!!
Announcer: OMG
Cell: hurry up and get the real fite started
Cell: my mother needs to use phone
Goku: ready cell?
Cell: yea
Krillin: omg cell is move so fast i cant see him
Tien: get a geforce then you radeon-lamer
Yamcha: radeon rules
Android 16: goku's pl is way high
Android 16: he must have been fighting with bots
Vegeta: stfu kakarot!!!! you are CHEATING
Goku: u r good cell
Cell: u arent too bad urself
Cell: want 2 join my clan?
Goku: no thx
Cell: ill just kill u then
Krillin: oh no goku there is a kamemeha coming ur way!!!1111
Goku: relax, i have teleport script
Cell: lame!! how did u dodge that?
Goku: lol
Goku: i am just good
Cell: your so dead now
Goku: u r blocking cell!!!!!!! stop it!!!!!
Cell: lol
Cell: n00b
Trunks: quickly krillin! throw goku a sensu bean!
Krillin: there are no sensus on this map trunks
Trunks: crap
Hercule: n1 know where I can download esf 1.2?
Goku: i give up cell
Goku: u lamer
Goku: block whoring is lame
Cell: i beat you goku, you sux
Cell: now i will destroy the server
Goku: not so fast cell!!!! there is still somebody left to fight you
Goku: he is AFK right now
Goku: Gohan its ur turn!
Cell: rofl
Piccolo: wtf goku!!! gohan cant beat him
Piccolo: his ping is too high
Hercule: A/S/L?
Gohan: piccolo is right
Gohan: i cant beat cell, my wrist is sore from typing
Goku: u can do it son
Goku: plz
Gohan: k
Cell: lol i have to take a screenshot of this
Hercule: n1 want to cyber?
Gohan: let me powerup first
Cell: k
Android 16: OMG
Vegeta: wtf? how did his pl get so high
Piccolo: sweet
Gohan: now its ur turn cell
Cell: lol
Piccolo: damn cell is beating the *@#* out of gohan
Goku: he shouldnt be using up his ki on swooping
Goku: damn 1.1 melee
Cell: ur such a n00b
Gohan: i dont want to have to disconnect u cell
Gohan: ever since i was a boy i have had a hidden power
Gohan: whenever i get pissed i go crazy and blow stuff up
Cell: cool
Cell: sounds fun 2 see
Cell: im going to try to make you angry
Gohan: !!!1
Android 16: i am going to stop you cell
Cell: what
Android 16: take my android explosion attack!
Krillin: OMG ANDROID 16
Krillin: android explosion attack isnt in 1.1
Android 16: WTF?
Cell: ROFLMAO
** Cell killed Android 16 with greenattack
Gohan: oh no!
Vegeta: cell is a ***
Gohan: android 16 was an android not a living person!
Gohan: he cant respawn!!
Cell: lol
Cell: ur not angry enough yet
Cell: im going to make little cells
** Server is full
Cell: WTF
Cell: i havent got enough room in server to make cell juniors
Gohan: lol
Gohan: u suck cell
Cell: going to kick some peeps
** Announcer has been kicked
** Hercule's Students have been kicked
** Yamcha has been kicked
Cell: k
Cell: enough room now for little cells
Goku: what is he doing!?
Cell: attack little cells - kill them all!
Cell Junior: LOL
Gohan: oh no cell juniors are owning my friends
Tien: stop gangbanging me!! fight one at a time!!
Piccolo: cell juniors are too good
Vegeta: they are scripting!!1
Gohan: tell them to stop it!
Cell: lol
Android 16: gohan!
Gohan: android 16's head,
Android 16: its okay to transform gohan
Android 16: if you have high enough pl
Android 16: u should do it
Android 16: it makes your pl go up
** Cell killed Android 16's Head with melee
Gohan: WTF
Gohan: GODAMNIT CELL
Gohan: I AM NOT TAKING ANY MORE OF THIS I AM GOING TO HACK UR PC
Gohan: UR STUPID AND GHEY AND UR SO LAME AND I AM GOING TO OWN YOU NOW
Cell: whoa
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
Piccolo: gohan rocks
Goku: told u
Hercule: dmz is better than esf
Cell: i am going to get u for that gohan
Gohan: no u arent i am going to beat u down
Piccolo: gohan rocks!
Cell: lag!!!
Trunks: cell is getting pwned by gohan lol
Trunks: cell sucks
Cell: u r such a cheater
Gohan: you're the n00b now cell
Cell: i am going to use special beam cannon on u at full charge!
Piccolo: gohan deflected SBC!
Vegeta: SBC should be attached
Piccolo: no way
Cell: i am going to kamehameha u all
Cell: lol this blast will take out the entire server
Vegeta: WTF
Piccolo: we are going to be fragged!
Trunks: i dont want to be gibbed
Gohan: ha! i won the power struggle
Cell: my health is so low
Cell: i hate this game
Gohan: now i am going to melee u
Krillin: cell spat out #18!
Krillin: #18 is hot
Cell: i am descending
Cell: this sucks so much
Goku: finish him off gohan
Goku: before he does something tricky
Goku: like freezing the server
Gohan: i cant
Gohan: too much lag
Cell: this is the end for you!
Cell: i am going to explode and take out the entire earth
Cell: and all of you with me
Cell: BRB
Goku: omg
Goku: cya guys
Goku: i have to go save the world
Piccolo: Cya goku
Krillin: later goku
Trunks: bye
Gohan: bye
** Goku has left the game
Vegeta: goku is a camper
** Cell killed Cell with explosion
** Cell killed Goku with explosion
** Cell killed King Kai with explosion
** Cell killed Bubbles with explosion
** Cell killed Gregory with explosion
Gohan: i am sad now
Tien: at least cell is off the server and we r all safe
Cell: back
Piccolo: OMG he is back
Cell: lol
Cell: u thought i was gone
Cell: my ISP disconnected but i'm back now
** Cell killed Trunks with fingerbeam
Vegeta: WTF
Vegeta: FINGERBEAMS ARE CHEAP CELL
Cell: ur such a n00b vegeta
Vegeta: fingerbeams are so cheap!!!! u shuldnt use fingerbeams!!!
Vegeta: i am going to kill u now cell
Vegeta: with my new Renzoku attack
Cell: rofl
Gohan: lol
Tien: lol
Yamcha: lol
Krillin: lol
Piccolo: lol
Vegeta: stfu guys
Gohan: uhoh, vegeta is going to get fragged
Cell: hey
Cell: u were in my way gohan
Gohan: my health is at 5, my ki is dropping
Cell: i can kill u all now
Cell: this is going to be totally sweet
Hercule: anybody know where I can download DBZ-GT in english
Goku: dont give up gohan!
Gohan: father, wry?
Goku: i am sending you tells from another server
Gohan: is that even possible
Goku: nm, just kill cell
Goku: use kamehameha beam
Gohan: k
Cell: lol gohan u are losing bad!
Cell: u must be low on ki now
Gohan: damnit
Piccolo: we have to help gohan
Cell: HEY!! PICCOLO IS SBC SPAMMING
Krillin: piccolo is right, we have to help gohan
Tien: lets go
Cell: BEAM WHORES CUT IT OUT
Cell: CANT U SEE I'M TRYING TO PS HERE
Gohan: its no use
Gohan: he must have charged his beam up to the top
Vegeta: n00bs
Cell: WTF
Cell: WHO USED THAT BIG BANG ATTACK
Cell: I AM PSING HERE DAMNIT DONT ATTACK WHEN I AM PSING
** Gohan killed Cell with kamehameha
Gohan: i did it!
Piccolo: way to go gohan
Krillin: you frag just as good as ur father
Gohan: thx
Tien: lets collect the dragonballs
Krillin: dragonball mode is only experimental
Krillin: it's buggy
Piccolo: lets go talk to dende and make our wishes
Gohan: k
Krillin: k
Piccolo: u coming vegeta?
Vegeta: no way
Vegeta: you guys are lame
Vegeta: ur all a bunch of cheaters
Piccolo: lol
Piccolo: u suck vegeta
** Piccolo has left the game
** Gohan has left the game
** Krillin has left the game
** Tien has left the game
Vegeta: i dont care what they say
Vegeta: renzoku is a cool move
** Vegeta has left the game
---
The CELL GAMES
Announcer: damn this server has been empty a long time
Announcer: who will fite cell?
** Hercule has joined the game
Announcer: omg its hercule
Hercule: sup
Announcer: the world is saved it is teh strongest man on earth
Hercule: i am going to pwn you cell
Cell: lol
** Vegeta has joined the game
Announcer: who r u?
Hercule: he is prob. one of my fans!!111
Announcer: u rule hercule
** Android 16 has joined the game
Announcer: who is this guy?!/1?1/?
Hercule: another one of my fans lol
Hercule: i am teh best
** Goku has joined the game
** Gohan has joined the game
** Piccolo has joined the game
** Trunks has joined the game
** Tien has joined the game
** Yamcha has joined the game
** Krillin has joined the game
Hercule: WTF
Goku: time to die cell!!!1111
Cell: lol
Cell: who is first??
Krillin: my ping is too high, goku go first
Goku: k
Hercule: i am first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hercule: u r going down cell
Cell: lol
** Cell killed Hercule with melee
Hercule: scripter!!!
Announcer: OMG
Cell: hurry up and get the real fite started
Cell: my mother needs to use phone
Goku: ready cell?
Cell: yea
Krillin: omg cell is move so fast i cant see him
Tien: get a geforce then you radeon-lamer
Yamcha: radeon rules
Android 16: goku's pl is way high
Android 16: he must have been fighting with bots
Vegeta: stfu kakarot!!!! you are CHEATING
Goku: u r good cell
Cell: u arent too bad urself
Cell: want 2 join my clan?
Goku: no thx
Cell: ill just kill u then
Krillin: oh no goku there is a kamemeha coming ur way!!!1111
Goku: relax, i have teleport script
Cell: lame!! how did u dodge that?
Goku: lol
Goku: i am just good
Cell: your so dead now
Goku: u r blocking cell!!!!!!! stop it!!!!!
Cell: lol
Cell: n00b
Trunks: quickly krillin! throw goku a sensu bean!
Krillin: there are no sensus on this map trunks
Trunks: crap
Hercule: n1 know where I can download esf 1.2?
Goku: i give up cell
Goku: u lamer
Goku: block whoring is lame
Cell: i beat you goku, you sux
Cell: now i will destroy the server
Goku: not so fast cell!!!! there is still somebody left to fight you
Goku: he is AFK right now
Goku: Gohan its ur turn!
Cell: rofl
Piccolo: wtf goku!!! gohan cant beat him
Piccolo: his ping is too high
Hercule: A/S/L?
Gohan: piccolo is right
Gohan: i cant beat cell, my wrist is sore from typing
Goku: u can do it son
Goku: plz
Gohan: k
Cell: lol i have to take a screenshot of this
Hercule: n1 want to cyber?
Gohan: let me powerup first
Cell: k
Android 16: OMG
Vegeta: wtf? how did his pl get so high
Piccolo: sweet
Gohan: now its ur turn cell
Cell: lol
Piccolo: damn cell is beating the *@#* out of gohan
Goku: he shouldnt be using up his ki on swooping
Goku: damn 1.1 melee
Cell: ur such a n00b
Gohan: i dont want to have to disconnect u cell
Gohan: ever since i was a boy i have had a hidden power
Gohan: whenever i get pissed i go crazy and blow stuff up
Cell: cool
Cell: sounds fun 2 see
Cell: im going to try to make you angry
Gohan: !!!1
Android 16: i am going to stop you cell
Cell: what
Android 16: take my android explosion attack!
Krillin: OMG ANDROID 16
Krillin: android explosion attack isnt in 1.1
Android 16: WTF?
Cell: ROFLMAO
** Cell killed Android 16 with greenattack
Gohan: oh no!
Vegeta: cell is a ***
Gohan: android 16 was an android not a living person!
Gohan: he cant respawn!!
Cell: lol
Cell: ur not angry enough yet
Cell: im going to make little cells
** Server is full
Cell: WTF
Cell: i havent got enough room in server to make cell juniors
Gohan: lol
Gohan: u suck cell
Cell: going to kick some peeps
** Announcer has been kicked
** Hercule's Students have been kicked
** Yamcha has been kicked
Cell: k
Cell: enough room now for little cells
Goku: what is he doing!?
Cell: attack little cells - kill them all!
Cell Junior: LOL
Gohan: oh no cell juniors are owning my friends
Tien: stop gangbanging me!! fight one at a time!!
Piccolo: cell juniors are too good
Vegeta: they are scripting!!1
Gohan: tell them to stop it!
Cell: lol
Android 16: gohan!
Gohan: android 16's head,
Android 16: its okay to transform gohan
Android 16: if you have high enough pl
Android 16: u should do it
Android 16: it makes your pl go up
** Cell killed Android 16's Head with melee
Gohan: WTF
Gohan: GODAMNIT CELL
Gohan: I AM NOT TAKING ANY MORE OF THIS I AM GOING TO HACK UR PC
Gohan: UR STUPID AND GHEY AND UR SO LAME AND I AM GOING TO OWN YOU NOW
Cell: whoa
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
** Gohan killed Cell Junior with melee
Piccolo: gohan rocks
Goku: told u
Hercule: dmz is better than esf
Cell: i am going to get u for that gohan
Gohan: no u arent i am going to beat u down
Piccolo: gohan rocks!
Cell: lag!!!
Trunks: cell is getting pwned by gohan lol
Trunks: cell sucks
Cell: u r such a cheater
Gohan: you're the n00b now cell
Cell: i am going to use special beam cannon on u at full charge!
Piccolo: gohan deflected SBC!
Vegeta: SBC should be attached
Piccolo: no way
Cell: i am going to kamehameha u all
Cell: lol this blast will take out the entire server
Vegeta: WTF
Piccolo: we are going to be fragged!
Trunks: i dont want to be gibbed
Gohan: ha! i won the power struggle
Cell: my health is so low
Cell: i hate this game
Gohan: now i am going to melee u
Krillin: cell spat out #18!
Krillin: #18 is hot
Cell: i am descending
Cell: this sucks so much
Goku: finish him off gohan
Goku: before he does something tricky
Goku: like freezing the server
Gohan: i cant
Gohan: too much lag
Cell: this is the end for you!
Cell: i am going to explode and take out the entire earth
Cell: and all of you with me
Cell: BRB
Goku: omg
Goku: cya guys
Goku: i have to go save the world
Piccolo: Cya goku
Krillin: later goku
Trunks: bye
Gohan: bye
** Goku has left the game
Vegeta: goku is a camper
** Cell killed Cell with explosion
** Cell killed Goku with explosion
** Cell killed King Kai with explosion
** Cell killed Bubbles with explosion
** Cell killed Gregory with explosion
Gohan: i am sad now
Tien: at least cell is off the server and we r all safe
Cell: back
Piccolo: OMG he is back
Cell: lol
Cell: u thought i was gone
Cell: my ISP disconnected but i'm back now
** Cell killed Trunks with fingerbeam
Vegeta: WTF
Vegeta: FINGERBEAMS ARE CHEAP CELL
Cell: ur such a n00b vegeta
Vegeta: fingerbeams are so cheap!!!! u shuldnt use fingerbeams!!!
Vegeta: i am going to kill u now cell
Vegeta: with my new Renzoku attack
Cell: rofl
Gohan: lol
Tien: lol
Yamcha: lol
Krillin: lol
Piccolo: lol
Vegeta: stfu guys
Gohan: uhoh, vegeta is going to get fragged
Cell: hey
Cell: u were in my way gohan
Gohan: my health is at 5, my ki is dropping
Cell: i can kill u all now
Cell: this is going to be totally sweet
Hercule: anybody know where I can download DBZ-GT in english
Goku: dont give up gohan!
Gohan: father, wry?
Goku: i am sending you tells from another server
Gohan: is that even possible
Goku: nm, just kill cell
Goku: use kamehameha beam
Gohan: k
Cell: lol gohan u are losing bad!
Cell: u must be low on ki now
Gohan: damnit
Piccolo: we have to help gohan
Cell: HEY!! PICCOLO IS SBC SPAMMING
Krillin: piccolo is right, we have to help gohan
Tien: lets go
Cell: BEAM WHORES CUT IT OUT
Cell: CANT U SEE I'M TRYING TO PS HERE
Gohan: its no use
Gohan: he must have charged his beam up to the top
Vegeta: n00bs
Cell: WTF
Cell: WHO USED THAT BIG BANG ATTACK
Cell: I AM PSING HERE DAMNIT DONT ATTACK WHEN I AM PSING
** Gohan killed Cell with kamehameha
Gohan: i did it!
Piccolo: way to go gohan
Krillin: you frag just as good as ur father
Gohan: thx
Tien: lets collect the dragonballs
Krillin: dragonball mode is only experimental
Krillin: it's buggy
Piccolo: lets go talk to dende and make our wishes
Gohan: k
Krillin: k
Piccolo: u coming vegeta?
Vegeta: no way
Vegeta: you guys are lame
Vegeta: ur all a bunch of cheaters
Piccolo: lol
Piccolo: u suck vegeta
** Piccolo has left the game
** Gohan has left the game
** Krillin has left the game
** Tien has left the game
Vegeta: i dont care what they say
Vegeta: renzoku is a cool move
** Vegeta has left the game