The Art of Chi

MC

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I haven't written a story since this morning which I posted in this forum, but I deleted it due to my incredible dislike towards it. So here's another one I did:

The Art of Chi

“What are you doing you nut ball?” asked the master in a shocked tone of voice. The master’s words fell on death ears of the martial artist that appeared to be in a very deep meditation. “Hey!!!” the master asked again. After a moment of silence the meditating martial artist finally replied, “I’m… concentrating my chi…”. “You call that channeling your chi?!” the master replied in a humorous tone of voice, “You damn kids, don’t know nothing about anything now-a-days”. The meditating martial artist replied “With my concentrated chi I can…” the meditating martial artist was suddenly interrupted by the master, “You can what? Defeat me?” The master started to laugh at the site of the meditating martial artist. The mediating martial artist’s concentration was broken by the masters laughing, and he stood up and said angrily, “I can concentrate my chi enough to destroy that pillar over there!” With that said the no longer meditating martial artist calmly walked towards the pillar, pushing out his exposed chest and ended his walk a few feet away from the pillar which he then took a solid wide stance. He began to weave his arms and hands in and out, back and forth in a gentle yet powerful series of movements. The weathered pillar stood there as it has for many decades, receiving a breeze caused by the no longer meditating martial artists gentle, yet strong complex arm movements.

The no longer meditating martial artist stopped ended his complex arm movements, fists clinched on his waist and began to hum. During all of this sat the master who is trying desperately not to laugh. Then… *PAAAHHH!!!* The sound of the no longer meditating martial artist exerting his arms forward and smashing his hands into the pillar echoed throughout the plains. The no longer meditating martial arts pulled his hands back and stood there, staring at the pillar as if he accomplished his goal. The now accomplished looking martial artist remained static for five minutes, then ten minutes, and for twenty minutes while holding his still confident stare. The master still seated, jerking around back and forth as he still continues to hold back his laughter which is bringing him to tears. Just when it seemed too much for the master to bear any longer…

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”, the master broke out in a hysterical laugh which once again broke the accomplished looking martial artist’s concentration. Extremely annoyed, the now no longer accomplished looking martial artist turned to the now hysterically laughing master and yelled “WHAT’S SO FUNNY OLD MAN?!” The hysterically laughing master attempted to calm his still hysterical laughing, catch his breath and retain a serious composure. “WELL?! WHAT WAS SO FUNNY?!!! IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR THIS DAMN PILLAR TO FALL APART SINCE CHI IS SLOW ACTING!!!” yelled the no longer accomplished looking martial artist. The hysterically laughing master who had finally regained serious composure bit his lip and started snorting from the results of holding back his once again hysterical laughter. “WHAT?! DO I LOOK FUNNY TO YOU?! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE AWESOME POWER OF CHI?!!!” once again demanded by the no longer accomplished looking martial artist. Once again…

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”, balled the hysterically laughing master. The no longer accomplished martial artist walked up to the hysterically laughing master with the intention of fighting, only to be stopped in his tracks, unable to move his legs. The now no longer hysterically laughing master looked at the now immobile martial artist and said, “Boy… you have much to be taught.” The immobile martial artist remained frozen, now being unable to move his body at all. “Chi is not some kind of mysterious energy that cannot be explained… Chi is essential to life… it animates all living things… it’s what keeps us alive, but chi is not some mysterious energy which has no name…” the now calm yet serious master explained to the immobile martial artist, as he stood up from sitting. “Chi, or the original Chinese version, Qi can be translated into air, or breath,” the calm yet serious master continued.

“It would see… after all these years the meaning of chi has been forgotten… but think about it…” the calm yet serious master still continued. “We need oxygen to survive, without it, we would die… this is the same just about every animal on this planet”, Said the calm yet serious master as he walked around the immobile martial artist. “Chi… it animates all living things, and without it we would die… now tell me that doesn’t sound like a strange coincidence?” asked the calm yet serious master as he continued to circle around the immobile martial artist. The immobile martial artist gave out a series of moans and groans with a few slurred words that could be barely made out. “If you wish to learn the art of chi, you must learn how to control the oxygen in your body”, said the calm yet serious master. “You must learn that when you learn to control your oxygen, you can manipulate your body”, finished the calm yet serious master. “Once you can control the oxygen in your body, you will be limitless to what you can do… the question is… are you ready to accept what I can teach you?” the calm yet serious master asked as the now no longer immobile martial artist became able to move again.

“Yes, I am ready to learn master”, said the no longer immobile martial artist.
 
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awesome stuff mate :yes:
 
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I soo damn wub it! awesome work, hope to see plenty more of it in the near future ^^
 
The Viking
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I like it, but you should replace the "no longer meditating martial artist" and those other titles with something simpler. After 3 times it gets repetative and even a bit corny.

If I were you I'd introduce the student a bit sooner, using names is a lot easier. Or you could call him the student in case you don't want their names to be known yet.
 

MC

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Eh, originally none of the titles changed whenever something happened, but I noticed when I was finished that a lot of them followed that way of introduction so I decided to expand on it. I thought it added a uniqueness to the story, since this is probably the first story I've written that never had the actual names of the characters

The next story I'm going to write, Iron Man, will not state the names of the characters either, but it also will not follow the same kind of introduction as this story did.

Anyway, I originally intended this story to be a short story, nothing fancy, nothing really in-depth, but I might expand on it. The only thing is that I have to find a way of keeping the "sequel" of this story pretty simple like I did with this one instead of making it extremely full blown out, creating a whole new world, giving a name to every single thing from a grain of sand to a solar system.

To put it more simply, I don't want to expand this story to the complexity of Stars Wars or Star Trek where everything has a purpose even though it has nothing to do with the main plot (like alien races you've never seen before but have only heard about from some mentioning of them). I know that's a terrible analogy, but I hope I'm getting my point across.

Eh... I guess saying "I don't want to make something complex out of something simple" would do better than writing thousands of paragraphs.

Once again, I don't know if I'm going to continue writing more for this story, I have a lot of personal things that need most of my attention unfortunately, so... I'll see what I can do.
 

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