Rofl! Lol! Lmao!

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http://maniax.sk/adequancy/

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.


If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.
LOL this means that SSJ´s are Computer Hackers!!! Goku vs. Vegeta: who can hack faster into the us government computers???

If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically. I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously.
HAHA funny lol
 
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lol i actually requested those new hardware things :) better not let my dad see this. he might even believe it :)
 
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Originally posted by Tepus
that would be more funny if i hadent seen it like 3 months ago
sorry for u.



for the other ppl it is funny because they dont have the hard disk which can host the whole internet like yours.
 
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Originally posted by Master-Dorn


sorry for u.



for the other ppl it is funny because they dont have the hard disk which can host the whole internet like yours.
dorn stop ur yappin and grow up for ****s sake, i think we are all sick of your stupid trys at flameing. :tired:
 
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ok guys
stop fighting :\




the worst thing about that article is, that some ppl really believe this **** (look at all those comments on the site*lmao*)
 
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:\ firefly i was telling him not to flame, sorry if im not as nice as u

"train in the use of various firearms"

sorry but HOW THE **** do u train for use of fire arms with Quake, i mean come on, i dont live in usa but im sure they may have a pistol, or shotty in there home, not a damn plasma rife and a bfg 9000:talk:
 
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Hmm, whos flaming here? Well, I dont think its Tepus....;/
 

ultrassj_vegeta

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how can u ask dorn to gro up?? the man is 32 for cryin out loud
 

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It was alright. I found it funny but not that funny.
 
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Originally posted by ultrassj_vegeta
how can u ask dorn to gro up?? the man is 32 for cryin out loud
:S 32?

i have even less repesct from him now then i did...

damn... 32 and he acks like a kid:rolleyes:
 
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They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks.
We all know how much I like to wear glow sticks and pacifiers...

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms.
Yup if i got in trouble for every game that had guns in it, I would be locked up in solitary confinement.... Yes people, they ARE talking about quake3....

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.
;/

Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.
Yeah i wanted to change from aol to to cable, so i guess im a leet haxor...

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program.
WEeeeee now this one i like... they are talking about Linux, which runs 80% of the web servers...

Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
CONNECTING TO THE INTERNET WITHOUT A TELEPHONE!?!?!?! IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE!


Well I really needed that laugh, but I saw it yesterday out of Mr. Satans sig, which you took this from :p
 
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they do have a point, because as we all know, loading, aiming, and firing any sort of gun is EXACTLY like clicking a mouse with ur endless clips of ammo on a computer, and yeah as we all know, hackers are SO very dangerous.(the sarcasm machines readings r off the charts)

*edit* i just read a couple more of his stories, and if i met this guy, i would give him the great macho man randy savages flying elbow and then kick him in the balls for a few hours so he could never risk raising another kid in his horrible family again, god it literally makes me sick to think of how bad some parents are
 

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