For today, i'm 'that guy' [rant]

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I've just had a ritualistically humiliating two hours, and the sun's just arisen, a bright new day awaits.

Today, like any other day, I was planning on going outside and frolicking in the good weather while it lasts; this usually involves running on grass, playing sports with friends and skipping through meadows with ribbons in my hair. But today is special, I have a date, with a female.

I was advised by a female friend to redye my hair (hell hath no fury like a woman noticing roots) in preparation. I mixed the dye up and applied, completely forgetting to put on gloves. I also managed to get the stuff (black) all over my face, sink, mirror, walls and body.

I waited 20 minutes and then showered off the excess, but it wouldn't come off my skin, even with soap, unless it was wiped in sizeable handprints on the walls. I forgot to take a towel into the bathroom too (they were all in the laundry) so panicking that the dye would solidify to my face I ran ass-naked to the kitchen to get some under-the-sink cleaning supplies, waltzing right past an open window while my neighbours left for work (penis flail).

Nothing under the sink, including oven-cleaner, would budge the smudge. As a last resort, I grabbed some steel wool to try and scratch it off ('it' being 'made of face') which made the skin raw, but at least removed part of the colour by sanding off the outer layer of skin. It still didn't get it all off, and couldn't bring myself to keep scrubbing, it hurt. I walk back to the bathroom to find i've left the sink and the shower running, so the room was now flooded.

I look like a burn victim in semi-blackface. My neighbours have seen and rated my penis. My hands look like i've been digging for coal. The bathroom is flooded and fingerpainted black.

This would be mildly amusing, were it not for a little previously-omitted detail, which is that a bevy of girls in their mid-20's are going to be looking round the place at 2pm as potential tenants. Aside from the water level in the bathroom, nothing's been cleaned or tidied. I'm meeting my ladyfriend at 8pm for what i'm sure will be a romantic evening. So yeah, I started drinking at 9am (it's now 9:45). Denial is the new reality!

I'm never usually this retarded, I think my Friday 13th came a little late. Today, I am 'that guy'.
 
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WOW, that just made my day!

Follow Jakuts advice though, it'll give you something to laugh about.
 
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Aw man, that sucks. D: I hope the rest of your day isn't as traumatic.
 
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Ravendust said:
I look like a burn victim in semi-blackface. My neighbours have seen and rated my penis.
lol

Anyway, that sucks. On the positive side, it'll give you something to talk about.
 
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wow that's the most tragic, f'ed up, but funny story i've heard. i hope you have a little better luck the rest of the day...and who knows maybe with all that crap you'll get laid!
 
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Yeah, let's hope the penis-flail gets a good workout from this traumatic experience.
 
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hehe damn, poor you ^^
Just tell her about it, if she will ask what happend or if she will looking wrong at you cuz of that.
She'll realize that you tried to look good for her what probably isnt bad at all :p
 
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The dye will come off your skin in about a week, at most, but the walls... I would call the hair dye company and ask how to remove it.

our ladyfriend will probably just find hilarious, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Edit: http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip599.htm

So at least you don't have to go around looking like a burn victim.
 
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I laughed out loud at "penis flail"

sorry to hear about all that
 
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Damn I nearly fall off my seat reading that raven and I feel bad but it was just too funny and especially in that stream of events one after another heh.

Anyways I hope everything works out for you and I wish you the best of luck.
 
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The dye will come off your skin in about a week, at most, but the walls... I would call the hair dye company and ask how to remove it.

our ladyfriend will probably just find hilarious, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Edit: http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip599.htm

So at least you don't have to go around looking like a burn victim.
Hahahaha!!! Toothpaste? That's kinda bad in Raven's case. Oh well, have fun applying toothpaste to your "sensitive" areas.
 

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Tell this story, in a cheery and regretful voice and you'll both laugh at yourself.
Make this a silly joke on your date, or hide away for a few days and make this a lot more embarrassing.
 
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So yeah, I started drinking at 9am (it's now 9:45). Denial is the new reality!

I'm never usually this retarded, I think my Friday 13th came a little late. Today, I am 'that guy'.
lol... sounds like the last time i visited xD
 
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lol, and to think all that stemmed from friendly advise to dye your hair. But ah well I hope thinks turn out good in the end.

Why the feck can't we rate your penis?
 
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That story sounds like it happened in a teenager comedy.
But if the girl thinks this is funny it's instant win^^
 

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A gal friend suggested you re-dye your hair eh?

This is what happens when you listen to women.
 

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