Favourite quotes from Family Guy.

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I forgot why but Quagmire goes to some girls house and asks her something. Then she calls for her mom and he goes "Heh heh i like where this is going"

God Family Guy is so awesome \o/
 
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Bring me a tool shed for i am hungary

(peter made the house into a huge puppet)
 
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Quagmire: I never had a spanish chick before... heh heh oooooolaayyyy
 
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Meg: daddy if you really love me you would buy me a proda bag
Peter: i cant say no to you honey.. what are they like 10 bucks?
Meg: more like 11... hundred
Peter: hahaha you wish i loved you that much
 
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Clip is here ---> http://anime-overload.com/files/Family_Guy_Hitler.avi

For those who don't want to download it, here's what happens.

Grim Reaper: "Peter, listen. Without death, the world would be a terrible place. Imagine a world where Hitler was still alive."

*Cuts to talk show*

Announcer (german accent): "Today on Heeetler, vee'll be talking vif Hollyvood hunk, Christian Slater."

Hitler: "Now, tell me, in your next movie, vee get to zee your butt."
Slater: "Yes, uh, yes you do."
Hitler: "Can vee zee it right now?"
Slater: "Well uh, alright Hitler."
Hitler: *stands up* "OH HE'S GOING TO DO IT!"

....

Announcer: "If you are going to be in zee Los Angeles area, und would like tickets to Hitler, call 213 - DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN!"

xD

Edit:
Oh yeah, Family Guy takes place in my state. Quahogs > you.
 
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Peter: Why do women have boobs? ............. So you got something to look at while you're talkin' to 'em *laughs*

Women: *jaw drops as she stares at peter*

Peter: So you got something to look at while you're talkin' to 'em

LMAO!!
 
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Quagmire: Who wants to play drink the beer?
Peter: Oh I do! (chuggs down a beer). What do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: Oh I'm going for the high score.
Quagmire: Well actually, Charlie has the high score.
Charlie: (peeing in a clock) Hey man you clock won't flush!

I don't remember the exact words, but the OJ one was hilarious

Tom Tucker: Today, a school egg drop went horribly, horribly wrong.
Louis: Oh my god, he's gonna wipe that species off the face of the earth!
Peter: No Louis, the janitor will do that.

Peter: We call you people normi's

Woman: Oh my god he killed my baby!
Announcer: Got milk?

(Family just finished watching Sherry and the Anus)
Peter: Wow, that one was even better than when Anus got the hamster stuck in his mouth!

Stewie: (looking in fridge) We got some soda, some purple stuff... ALRIGHT SUNNY D!

Man: At midnight tonight the whole world will end!
Peter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (walks over to a human-like rabbit). Sorry rabbit, tricks are for kids! (takes away the bowl of tricks)

Chicken Man: Do you want a free coupon? It'll save you $20!
Peter: I don't except coupons from giant chickens. Not after last time.
*Goes Back in Time*
(Peter is at the cash register handing over his coupon)
Cashier: I'm sorry sir this coupon is expired.
Peter: (evil glare) Oh that smug little bastard! (jumps through the window and tackles the chicken)

(Lassie Show)
Boy: Hi mom the peaches are growing in might fine!
Mom: They sure are...
*Screen goes grey with a bald man*
Bald Man: SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE
Mom: ... son. Go pick some.
*Screen goes grey with a bald man*
Bald Man: SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE
Boy: Alright....
*Screen goes grey with a bald man*
Bald Man: Are you smoking yet?

Peter: I'm concerned these toys will make kids smoke
Cigarette President: Noooo, it's not like that at all Peter, the last thing we want are kids to start smoking.
Peter: Then how bout that graph that says "The first thing we want is for kids to start smoking"? (points to graph on the wall)
Cigarette President: Oh that's just something my kid made in art class.
Peter: Then what about that poster that says "This wasn't made by my son in art class, we really do want kids to start smoking" (he points to poster beside the graph)?

That's all I have for now.
 
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Peter: (steps on pad, sliding doors open) Wow, when you're beautiful doors open themselves!
Other man: Actually, they opened because you stepped on that black mat, but if it hadn't have been there they would have opened anyways, because you're beautiful.
Peter: I see.
 
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cleavland: oh peter, you are the height of just too much-ery

cleavland: maybe the comedian will tell jokes about boats, or boating.
quagmire: or maybe he'll tell jokes about bein a sucker!
cleavland: oh quagmire, you are what the spaniards call, "el terrible"
 
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Don't remember this exactly but...

Quagmire: Peter want a drink?
Peter: Oh I can't... Louis said I couldn't drink tonight
Quagmire: Ah she didn't mean it
Peter: Gee I never thought of it like that *Chugs beer*
 
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IsrAlien said:
How about when its the news and they start talkin bout the weatherman and he comes up and its this black dude and all he says is "Is gonna rain." That one made me laugh so bad. I guess it isnt funny when you read it but when I saw it... Oh man.
hehe...

i think it went like- "now its time for the blackie weather report...*cut to black guy in front of weather map*... ITS GON' RAIN!" thats one of my favorites.

and the one where peter says something about the sex jelly was hilarious too. its the one where hes talking to the chicken. anyone care to elaborate?
 
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I can't wait until Family Guy comes back next year!!!

Oh, my favorite quote is the: Doin' your...son? one. :laff:
 
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Cyfore said:
the one where hes talking to the chicken. anyone care to elaborate?
Lol where it gives him a out dated coupon and they get into a big brawl and they go crashing into the building, then Peter's warlking away panting "he gave me a bad coupon" and they start fighting again

My favorite quote is simple

*Stewie knocks down the book shelf*
Stewie: Pancakes....

This one rocks too.

Peter: where it says name I'll write Diseased and where it says sex I'll write no thanks I'm dead. Bullet proof.
 
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Stewie: oh no no! you cant leave you just got here! oh whats your email? mines "[email protected]"

*Stewie easts the first pancake*
Stewie: this is good! hey ive decided not to kill you!!!

Stewie: *chews on pankake* man this is better then sex!!

Lois: Hey you get to make a wish stewie
*Stewie goes into a deep thought with german voices in the background*

-=stewie is getting his bag examined at the airport=-
Stewie: "Oh no! dont check that! Aw... This better work".... *stewie starts dancing* "On the good ship, lollypop... it's a sweet trip to the candy shop" haha i bet osama doesnt ever get that tune right!"

Osama: "Ohamahmahmahamaha damn what is it!!"

Stewie: Blast!

*Stewie gets his blueprints to time machine tooken away*
Lois: aww Stewie lost his paper, i'll be up in a bit to tuck you in hun.
Stewie: Burn in hell!

*Lois is feeding stewie some vegetable of some sort*
Lois: "Oh but stewie you love these"
Stewie: "Did you just TELL me what i like! huh? i only like pankakes!!"

*woman knocks on door*

Woman: We came to take stewie away
Lois: You're not getting my baby
Woman: "Hey little guy do you wants ome pankakes"
Stewie: OH GOD YES! *jumps in the ladies arms*
 
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"What's a cleveland steamah?"

and of course, for all the writing fans, I'll try to remember this one. I'm pretty sure it was Brian who did it:

[Brian runs over some guy while driving a white van.]

"Oh my god, are you alright?! I'm so sorry, I was just...hey, wait, aren't you Stephen King?"

"No, I'm Dean Koontz!"

"Oh." [Brian gets back in the truck and backs up over him again, then drives off]

That quote is probably horribly inaccurate since I haven't seen it since it's initial airing around here. :0\
 
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That one episode... Where Stewie went into the acting school and that girl said "You are the weakest link, Goodbye"

Stewie: HAHA You are SO fresh, I mean, you actually took that from the show and used it in real life-- I mean, she says that in the show right?-- You are the weakest link goodbye, I mean, you're SO Funny.
 
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Guy: "JACKAL! JACKAL! IT'S A JACKAL! JACKAL?! JACKAL! JACKAL!"

Lady: "TIME!"

Stewie: "If it wasn't right the first time, why the hell would it be right the next 10 times?!"
 

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The Funniest Quote or Part to me is when Louis had dropped Stewie off at the Day Care Center and he fell in love with this girl there who kept asking him for cookies. Its not exactly how it went probally but its close to what i can remenber.

Stewie: Duck...Duck...Duck...Duck.." Slaps her hard on back of the head " Goose " Starts running "

Girl: "crys"

Stewie: "Walks back to her " ok enough of crying...i said stop it ...stop that i say...you see you see..this is why people dont respect the WNBA

LMAOOO!!!

And the part where stewie was playing basketball at the court when he tripped some black guy for the ball he called foul.

Black Guy: Hey man u fouled me..

Stewie: I did not....

Black Guy: I Otta Stomp On your little a**

Stewie: Oh yea bring it..what ya wanna do huh..you want some of me..

Black guy: Turns and walks away

Stewie: "turns and starts walkinng as well " " balls up first and taps himself on the chest with it a couple of times " Yea u better walk away This My House!!!!! My House..
 
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Another good one, from the radioactive meltdown episode.

"...bring it ONNNN!!!"
 

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