Doors

[Zeonix]

Im not flaming him, im criticizing his poems. And in my opinion, they aren't deep. If you'd like to continue this conversation, then perhaps YOU should pm ME. Until then, stick to the topic at hand.

 

[DiebytheSword]

CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM is encouraged . . . being a prick isn't. Either tell him how he can inprove his poem politely or get the hell out of his thread.

That being said, if you plan on remaining an active member of this board for any long length of time, don't drop by to spam or tell him off. It will result in the smacketh down being layed upon thee.

;/

 

[Zeonix]

Fine. Ill be a good little boy so i can stay here forever and ever.

Try fixing your grammatical errors. We know what your poems are supposed to be about, but they dont clearly represent the idea.

Lastly, how can you be blinded by truth?

 

[OubliezJe]

I can see how you dont like my poems, and i can see how some do. Some things dont make sense to others, but to me they do. I know these are random things that i just thought of and wrote. Thats why there not that great in detail, nor, are they on big issues that might make sense. And as i was saying before, I did this not to showoff, cuase i know there not that good, but to get my thoughts out of my head.

 

[SaiyanPrideXIX]

Taking a poem literally is like trying to find out the technique used in a piece of abstract artwork, dude.

 

[Zeonix]

Literal or not, the truth can never blind someone. Something false, on the other hand, can.

 

[Hitokiri]

That poem was about as blunt and literal as it gets though. Sorry, I just think it could've been better done. Not that I hate being obvious, because the poetry world isn't without it's lack of people trying to be "mysterious" but seriously, this sounded like you were talking to 1st graders at Sunday School. To call the religious theme an "undertone" would be incorrect. It's right there in your face; I've got no problems with that, but the poem is just really simple and says a tired out message.

 

[OubliezJe]

Like i was saying, i am trying this out. These are my second attempt at poems, so i dont expect them to be the greatest. I no hard feelings, i can understand what your saying. And the way i took Blinded by the truth, is that the truth is there infront of them, but they choose not to see it.

 

[Zeonix]

Then it isnt truth that is blinding them. It is their own ignorance or pride or a number of other things that keeps them from seeing the truth.

 

[OubliezJe]

There are many ways to interpret the saying "Blinded by Truth." There is your way, and there is also that they are blinded by truth, A truth that is infront of them and refuse to see. Although they know its there, they refuse to accept it unstil they are forced to see the truth... You can call it Pride or Ignorance, but still, Blinded by the truth fits the phrase.

 

[Zeonix]

Its impossible to be blinded by truth. Things can blind you which will keep you from seeing/finding the truth, but truth itself can not blind you (unless truth is a solar flare or that flash when a nuclear bomb hits).

 

[OubliezJe]

You can not be literally blinded by truth no, but you can, in my way, Blinded by Truth. I've used the saying many times, and i know people i know have to. So if you dont use it, and if your not understanding from my point of view on what it means, then i am sorry.

 

[Zeonix]

You misunderstand. Im not trying to be a smartass or anything, but the phrase "Blinded by Truth" doesnt make sense. I know what it's supposed to mean, but the phrase itself does not reflect its meaning.

 

[Pain]

I think perhaps what Tank is trying to say here is "Blinded to the truth" not by it. Zeonix is right, you cannot be blinded by truth. It just doesn't work literally or figuratively. Blinded by desire, blinded by lies, those work. Blinded would imply that you cannot see what is really going on (IE:the truth). So to be blinded by the truth is an oxymoron.

Either way, I don't think you should quit your day job, Tank. Not too much going on in your poetic mumble. Poems that have no step, rhyme or symbolism tend not to be very good. I would suggest you work on those instead of just writing down whatever you think of. They tend to help whatever it is you are writing along and make it have more of an impact. I would also suggest you stay away from religious undertones since those will divide your fan base. The Jesus freaks will love it, but not everyone else.

So far it looks like each of your poems are just a compilation of blunt statements. They don't seem to have any meaning behind them other than, "this is what I am saying, look no further." You also need to work on spelling and grammar. You need to know when to use 'a' and 'an'. You need to know which their/they're/there to use. The difference between 'your' and 'you're'. Basic things that could use work before you try to be deep or profound. Walk before you run my friend. Before you finish a poem, look it over. Have someone else proof read it for you if you must.