Awesome/Awkward laws!

[Mr.Lukyas]

I think there was a similar thread, but here it goes

(NOTE: It's me translating from Serbian, heil me!)

1. Hong Kong has a law where woman is allowed to kill her husband if she catches him cheating on her - but only using her bare hands, using any kind of weapons is strictly forbidden. And as considering husband's mistress, she can kill her any way she wants. Means, she can chose anything from baseball bat, knife, shotgun, to razor, slow death, etc...
2. Minnesota has a law that strictly forbids people having sex with birds.
3. Few Muslim countries have a law where man can have sex with the sheep, BUT he is not allowed to eat that very sheep. That is considered as death sin.
4. In Lebanon, sex with animals is officially allowed. However, there is one limit: Animal has to be female. For having sex with male animals, you may get the death penalty.
5. In Arizona, you are not allowed to possess more than two dildos or vibrators.
6. In few Colombian cities, women can only legally sleep with their husbands. The law also says the mother of the bride must be present the first wedding night, so she can witness her first sexual experience.
7. In Bahrain male gynecologist can only watch the private parts of his patient in the mirror.
8. The most exotic job exists on Guam, a Pacific island that belongs to USA: Since female virgins aren't allowed to get married, there are professional deflorators that take girls' virginity; of course with the fee.
9. In some parts of Colorado, it is forbidden to kiss the sleeping woman.
10. In Hartford, in Connecticut, husband may not kiss his woman on Sundays.








Please correct my spelling and grammar errors.

 

[Barney]

In Massachusetts it's illegal to have a goatee.

 

[Sicron]

Alabama

• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
• It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

California

• Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
• Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
• Bathhouses are against the law. [Get the full text of this law.]
• It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
• Women may not drive in a house coat.

Florida

• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
• It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
• When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

Kansas

• Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.

Louisiana

• It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Indiana

• It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
• Liquor stores may not sell milk.

Michigan

• You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Nebraska

• It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

New York

• A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
• It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
• A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
• The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

North Dakota

• Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
• It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio

• It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
• It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

Pennsylvania

• A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Texas

• It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
• It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
• It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
• It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
• A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
• The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Wisconsin

• You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
• Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

I love the one from Louisiana...and what the hell is up with the last one for New York. Hahaha. Although I think 90% of this list is no longer in effect.

 

[Mr.Lukyas]

I don't really understand this:
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Odd...

 

[Grega]

There is a little law in our country thats kinda funny.

You are allowed to have 1 joint of weed on you. But you are not allowed to sell, buy or grow it ^^

 

[Darth Revan]

thats odd very odd

 

[Deathshot]

Alright. Some from my home state. North Carolina.

-The mere possession of a lottery ticket is illegal in North Carolina and may result in a $2,000 fine. ( This is now changed and NC has its own Educational Lottery.)

-No one may be a professional fortune-teller, and if one wishes to pursue the practice as an amateur, it must be practiced in a school or church.

-It’s against the law to sing off key. ( I have seen 3 people actually arrested for this one. )

-Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields. ( Someone was arrested for this 10 years ago )


-While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.


-If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.


-All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. ( Which is in all states, thus why if you get a room the beds are always so far apart )


-It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard. ( sorry.... )


-Oral sex is considered a crime against nature. ( ****.... )


-A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.



-Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them.



-A three dollar tax must be paid on all white goods sold. ( lol.... )



-Organizations may not hold their meetings while the members present are in costume.




-Bingo games may not last over 5 hours unless it is held at a fair.




-Serving alcohol at a bingo game is not allowed. ( "O4" "F#@$ YOU!" )




-Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.



-It is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly.




-Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times. ( Now gone due to the nude purade )




-It is illegal to drive cars through city cemeteries for pleasure. ( This one kills me. Get it? D: )



-No one may visit their departed loved ones late at night.




-Cars may not be driven on sidewalks.



-You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars. ( The song becomes null/void now. )

 

[sub]

I've said it before, I'll say it again: The U.S. needs another branch of government whose sole duty is to go through laws disbanding them. We have so much bull**** on the books

 

[Dzamija]

-It’s against the law to sing off key. ( I have seen 3 people actually arrested for this one. )

What. The. ****.

Are these laws REALLY still in effect? This sounds just too absurd to be true.

 

[Majin_You]

-It is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly.

-It is illegal to drive cars through city cemeteries for pleasure. ( This one kills me. Get it? D: )

-Cars may not be driven on sidewalks.

How are those awkward/awesome? The first one is a matter of keeping things sanitary, the second one seems pretty self-explanatory, and the last one is common just about everywhere there are motorized vehicles

Damn those pedestrians for clogging up the walkways which are intended for their use!

 

[sub]

So wait, I'm not allowed to drive on the sidewalk?

 

[Majin_You]

So wait, I'm not allowed to drive on the sidewalk?

I'm sorry that you had to find out this way.

 

[Chakra-X]

I call bull**** on the missionary position only on Florida. Might as well arrest half the state.

And it sucks that I can not be a governor in my own state now :/

 

[Sicron]

I'm 99% sure that not being allowed to drive on a sidewalk is not a law here in the Netherlands. It's pretty much common sense not to do it, we don't need a specific law for it. But as far as I know, pretty much any 'stupid' thing that is done in America, gets it's own law. I've even heard a story about some American woman who had a wet cat. So she thought "I know, why not put her in the microwave? That will definitly dry her!" So she did, and her cat exploded. Baffeled by this, she sued the company that made the microwave and won, because the manual never said you couldn't put pets in the microwave.

 

[Snowm@n]

Here goes some stupid laws from my country:

You may not have a Kitchen caster. (dont know why)

You may not kill a partridge when inside the egg (but you can make a human abortion until 10 weeks of pregnancy)

You may only clean supermarket shelves with dodot tissues

You are allowed to have 1 joint of weed on you. But you are not allowed to sell, buy or grow it ^^

We got that one also.

 

[Killface]

Michigan

* You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Oops hahahaha ;P

 

[Deman]

I call bull**** on the missionary position only on Florida. Might as well arrest half the state.

And it sucks that I can not be a governor in my own state now :/

Many states that are on the more religious side have laws against certain ways in which a man and woman can express their love. A lot of it depends on how broad the state's definition of sodomy is.

 

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[Z Power]

Hot dang. I salute the bot who'd take the time to Hyperlink each word.

*Salute*

 

[DiebytheSword]

Bot deletinated.