Asshat customers?

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Eon

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This is for anyone who's had to deal with asshat customers. After reading some humorous experiences from somethingawful, I decided to see if anyone else here has had any run ins at their job with completely ridiculous people, here's one of mine.

Working at a video store for a bit, I've got to break news to people they have late fees and it usually busts their balls but nine times out of ten they pay for it without *****ing or moaning at me, of course a few people get all pissy but never personally attack me.

Well I broke the news to a guy that he had a 99 cent late fee on something, he's already been kind of a prick and talking to me like he owns me or something after I couldn't find the movie he was looking for ( I can only search in the system by title, sometimes I can recognize a movie myself by cast and plot description, his was pretty much as vague as 'that guy in that film' kind of thing ) so he's frustrated he had to settle for a different one in the first place. Not to mention this guy smells like beer and a substance I can't imagine to describe well, so imagine if "ass-butter" existed, that's what he smelled like. He's a huge redneck ham-beast, and his wife has bruises on her, goddamn I ****ing love the south.

Anyways, I Tell him his late fee is $0.99 before tax, he throws a dollar on the counter and says "keep the penny" and walks toward the exit, I remind him that his total is $1.08 because there was a tax on the late fee, and this is when the **** hits the fan.

"YOU CAN'T ****ING CHARGE A LATE FEE, THERE'S A LAW!! THERE'S A LAW, YOU'RE JUST OVERCHARGING ME AND PLAN TO POCKET THE REST YOU STUPID MOTHER****ER, THERE'S A LAW! THERE'S A LAW, I'M CALLING THE POLICE AND GETTING YOU FIRED YOU PALE YELLOW MOTHER****ER"

I calmly remind him how like, everything is taxed pretty much, yet he's still ****ting bricks over 9 cents.

At this time my manager comes over and asks what's going on, things can't get any worse, my manager is from Bangaladesh, India, and a southern redneck seeing someone tan with an accent from overseas, plus being tan, registers him as the race "terrorist".

My manager gives the man his dollar back and says "You don't have to pay the late fee now if you don't want to, since it's so low, but next please keep in mind that even late fees have a tax on them, as everything else."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU ****ING TERRORIST, I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU REMOVE MY LATE FEE AND GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK FOR THESE MOVIES I RENTED FOR BAD SERVICE."

Normally, we would jsut refund a movie, since it's like 4 dollars to get this **** out of the store, but he rented like 5 movies, so we can't just refund him, so the guy is refusing to leave, I phone the police, who show up 5 agonizing minutes later while the guy is showering the store in saliva and ass-buttery odor.

The cops grab the guy who begins to yell more, sounding like Mr. Show's David Cross.

"WHAT THE HELL, YA'LL ARE BRUTALIZING ME, I HATE YOU ALL MOTHER****ERS, THIS IS AMERICA, YOU CAN'T TAX NO LATE FEE."

his wife is still in the store as an awkward silence is in the air.

She hands me a box of candy, and quietly said.

"he made me steal this, sorry."

oh god, southern america at it's finest!

--------------------


ok, let's hear yours!
 
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his wife is still in the store as an awkward silence is in the air.

She hands me a box of candy, and quietly said.

"he made me steal this, sorry."
HAHAHAHA. That made me break out in laughter.
 
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I don't know how you deal with the public...
 

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Let's see... When I started working at Domino's Pizza, I had to answer phones and such. Well, a few days after having started, a customer calls to place an order. Everything goes pretty well, but when I read over what the customer ordered, he said "No... Two". So, alright, he obviously wants one more of something he ordered. So, I ended up in a guessing game. "Do you want two pizzas?" I asked, and the guy replied, "No... Two". "Sir, what is it that you want two of?" I asked hoping that he will tell me what he wants to of, but, "No... I want two".

So, after some time trying to get this guy to tell me what he wants two of, I just handed the phone to the manager, and funny enough, only took the manager a couple of seconds to find out what this guy wanted.

Another customer I was taking an order from, gave me her order, but being new, I was still getting used to the system we used to place in orders. I kept on telling the lady that I was a new employee, but after about 30 minutes of trying to get this lady's order on the computer, she got fed up with me and demanded that I give the phone to my manager, so I did.

I guess you could say it's my fault that the customers acted like that, but oh well, I was fired after a week of having just started anyway.
 
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Dam, that's some freaky stuff =O.

I'd imagine you canceled his membership to the video store and +b his ass from it too?. Did the cops also pwn his ass =O?.

I myself being anglo indian would of found that a bit offensive if I heard someone yelling out comments like that directed at someone who is Indian, I use to put up with **** racist comments at school...
 
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lol thats nothing. here's an even better story. this one is funny

One sunday while working at Wal-mart in the electronics department i alittle old lady came to the counter. Now being the oldest of all the people working that day and actually knowing the stuff int he department she came to me after the last guy turned her down.

so anyway she walks up to the counter with phone in hand. i ask her how i can help her. she says she has bought 2 phones and they don't work. curious i ask her more questions.

i asked her what wasn't working. she mentions that the phone needs a power supply to be plugged in so the caller id could work. so i explain to her that most phones have that.

so after asking her more questions she says to me that to caller id doesn't even work. and i ask her what happens. well this is where i lost it. she goes to me "i don't know whats wrong but every time someone calls this Mr. Smith comes up in the caller id and i don't know who that is so i don't answer the phone. i think the phone was used before and the caller id is stuck on the last caller the previous owner had." I start to literally piss myself, th customer now is gettign angry for my laughing and tells me i'm not being very helpful. I go ahead and tell her the caller id isn't broken and she keeps telling me it is. so to prove her wrong i take the phone out of the box and peel off the default sticker most companies but over the caller id screen to show users what the caller id usually displays. in this case the phone had a sticker over the id block saying "mr. smith - 111-222-33333 @ 12:00 am".

well as soon as i peeled off that sticker (while still dying from laughing) the lady gets all mad snaps the phone out of my hands throws it in her plastic bag and storms out of the store feeling stupid,
 
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lol thats nothing. here's an even better story. this one is funny

One sunday while working at Wal-mart in the electronics department i alittle old lady came to the counter. Now being the oldest of all the people working that day and actually knowing the stuff int he department she came to me after the last guy turned her down.

so anyway she walks up to the counter with phone in hand. i ask her how i can help her. she says she has bought 2 phones and they don't work. curious i ask her more questions.

i asked her what wasn't working. she mentions that the phone needs a power supply to be plugged in so the caller id could work. so i explain to her that most phones have that.

so after asking her more questions she says to me that to caller id doesn't even work. and i ask her what happens. well this is where i lost it. she goes to me "i don't know whats wrong but every time someone calls this Mr. Smith comes up in the caller id and i don't know who that is so i don't answer the phone. i think the phone was used before and the caller id is stuck on the last caller the previous owner had." I start to literally piss myself, th customer now is gettign angry for my laughing and tells me i'm not being very helpful. I go ahead and tell her the caller id isn't broken and she keeps telling me it is. so to prove her wrong i take the phone out of the box and peel off the default sticker most companies but over the caller id screen to show users what the caller id usually displays. in this case the phone had a sticker over the id block saying "mr. smith - 111-222-33333 @ 12:00 am".

well as soon as i peeled off that sticker (while still dying from laughing) the lady gets all mad snaps the phone out of my hands throws it in her plastic bag and storms out of the store feeling stupid,
Now that's funny.

You think manuals were a crime against humanity.
 
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Now that's funny.

You think manuals were a crime against humanity.
It's america. Land of the idiots and dumbasses. I hope my country would one day wake up and stop being so ****ing lazy.

Just like the WII and people trying to get new TV's. Even the manual says specifically it does not need to be thrown like a real baseball.
 
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Pfft. The farther away from the coasts you get....etc etc, offensive remark.

Magus's story was hilarious. Lozl. Brutalizing.
 
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These stories are exactly why I cant wait until I begin working.
 
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I think I'm inlove with litenet =/

that's just priceless.
 
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I worked a summer job at Starbucks a while back. There are probably more "asshats" that come there than I can count, but it's never anything too serious. We don't have any hicks up here, but crazy people, really, are everywhere.

We had this one customer named Richard who used to be a professor (I can't remember the university), but at some point lost it. He always wears at least 3 baseball caps stacked on his head, and two pairs of glasses. He's really smart and actually a nice guy, but there's something pretty off about him. He used to take lots of pictures of the employees and such, until he was asked to stop. We also had a rather old, rather overweight woman who would talk about having affairs with the XM satellite radio guy and how she wanted to bone our manager. She also had a beard growing (it was only stubble, though). But she was nice, at least. Those are our harmless crazy people.

On the other side of the crazy fence, we had a customer that would come in every morning with like a big jar of honey and an empty pitcher. He'd ask that we fill up the pitcher with hot water (we have a tap specifically for really hot water so we can make tea.) He never got anything but the water. After that, he'd disappear into the bathroom with his "supplies" and come out like 15 minutes later. He would also do stuff like turn his chair into the corner of the cafe area where nobody could see him, and, well, you can probably guess... we got him banned eventually. Apparently he had a history of law trouble involving public you-can-guess-what.

Another guy that came in was this big, fat, crazy-looking kinda old guy. He would constantly hit on this one girl (who is a 5-foot tall Japanese high school girl) that worked there and he was asked at least once to leave the store. He was pretty persistent though. While the girl was in the CVS across the street he actually approached her and asked her if she had a boyfriend, said that he'd do a great job at it, she was beautiful, etc. Kinda weirded her out but she thought it was pretty harmless and managed to awkwardly leave the situation. A few days later, after work, he confronts her again in an alley near the store. He tries to strike up conversation or something but eventually he just blurts out:

"Do you have sex with black men?"
"...What...?"
"It would really make me happy if you had sex with large, black men."

I think that's about when she hurried back to her car. We made sure the guy never came back, but seriously... weirdos, man.
 
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Cripes

Hitokri's town sounds scary as hell. Litenet's is funny. I pity MC. And Magus' story adds to my suspicions to the South.

Never had a job-job, but I pray I never have to have a people-friendly position.
 
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Aahhh the memories, so glad I do not work in customer service anymore.

I once managed a blockbuster video, and there were many fun times there. I too live in a town that is composed of rednecks and minorities from out of town. I am hispanic, so many people up here are flat out rude. However, I never expected my worst customer to be from New York City. This story happened when I was just a CSR.

This penis was named David Krasner. He was a NYC Examiner, the guy that figures out why the stiffs are mysteriously dead. At the time, Blockbuster had two must do things for customer service.

1) All people must be greeted at the door.

2) Upon scaning their account card, you were to address and greet the individual with their first name.

"Hello Dave."

". . . . my name is Dr. Krasner to you."

Being thoroughly annoyed by his instant lack of respect:

"I'm sorry, store policy forces me to use your first name, or you could receive free rentals."

"I don't care about your policy, you will address me as Dr. Krasner."

"I'm sorry DAVE, I don't remember you being my doctor."

This is when he turns nuclear.

"I will NOT be addressed by my first name by some punk in a video store . . ."

"I'm sorry Dave."

Meanwhile, my movie buff sidekicks are laughing at the hidden 2001 joke, pissing him off even more.

Long story short, he tried to get a ton of free rentals out of my being cheeky. He reported me to customer service's 800 number. The saving grace was, people behind him also saw how unreasonable he was when I explained store policy to him. So they called the 800 number too, and reported on how good of a CSR I was.

End result, denied his free rentals, and every time he came to the store afterwards, he'd always try to get on my line. The cashiers would all switch place with me so I didn't have to deal with him.

And they'd always say, "Hello Dave."
 
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Ah yes. Customer service. It can be nice at times when you get those customers that smile at you and thank you but sometimes there's just huge jerks out there.

I used to work at a Subway back when I was still in high school. It was a decent job for me then. Paychecks were **** but when you don't pay bills that's just fine. We remained open two hours past all the other food places in town which usually wasn't much of a problem as those two hours were pretty slow. Unfortunately, all the small towns in the area were pretty big on varsity basketball games which usually ended about half an our before closing. This meant that on game nights we'd get a couple busfulls of teenagers who've just been running around the court for a couple hours and their families who came to watch them.

In one situation, we had continued to help the people for about 30 minutes after we were supposed to close. See, the line was pretty much out the door and neither me or my co-worker wanted to be the jerk to lock the door on half the line. We also figured it was a good way to milk the clock. Anyhow, this town was about 66-75% hispanic and the rest were white. That night, the away team was from one of the richer towns where most the people were white(ha, I typoed ****e there just now... Freudian slip?) So basically, the lobby was full of these upper class white teenagers with their upper class white parents. After they all filtered in, we locked the door and allowed them to eat inside, as me and my co-worker had stuff to take care of in the back that would take us longer than it would take them to eat. After a while, we started to hear this banging on the door, and we see this old hispanic guy shaking the door to get in. I go up to tell him were closed and he responds in Spanish. I know very little Spanish, so I asked my co-worker who did to tell him we were closed. Long story short, I guess the guy was cussing me out to him.

The next day, I get a call from my boss telling me that there was a customer complaint about me being racist. She was also hispanic, as was pretty much everyone who worked there except for one other guy. I described the guy who had tried to get in after we closed the doors then explained the situation. She wasn't upset about that at all, but apparently we could have gotten in trouble for locking the people in since that's a fire hazard. After that this guy would continually come in and bark at me in Spanish if he saw me working. To be honest, this is how I learned most of the Spanish swears I know.

Anyway, I guess that wasn't near as bad as anybody else's story, but this part will crack you up. Two years later, I returned from college to work there over summer break. Apparently the boss had one customer complain that she only hired hispanics and that she was racist against whites. She told me about that then asked "Devin you're half-white aren't you?" I had to hold back laughter as I'm pretty much the stereotypical goofy, clumsy, and nerdy white guy who happens to be a minority in the area.

"I'm twice that."
 
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all those stories are hilarious.

i dont have any violent funny stories that could add up to any of that...

but i worked at a walmart for a while and this guy came up...

and he set on the counter a large industrial sized tub of k-y jelly, 6 carrots, some vasline and a vibrating penis ring.

i did my best to keep a straight face and not laugh...

...but i failed and couldnt stop laughing, then my pregnant manager lady came over and had to finish ringing up the items..

i had a hard time finding the tag on the large ky jelly tub, and i didnt know how they rang up vegetables and fruit at the time

but i was foricibly unemployed shortly after so it didnt matter.

the guy just stood there with a smile on his face like "what can I say"

it wouldnt of been so funny but my friend mike from art class told me of a similiar story that happened to him at kmart
 

Eon

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wal mart sells penis rings?
 
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all those stories are hilarious.

i dont have any violent funny stories that could add up to any of that...

but i worked at a walmart for a while and this guy came up...

and he set on the counter a large industrial sized tub of k-y jelly, 6 carrots, some vasline and a vibrating penis ring.

i did my best to keep a straight face and not laugh...

...but i failed and couldnt stop laughing, then my pregnant manager lady came over and had to finish ringing up the items..

i had a hard time finding the tag on the large ky jelly tub, and i didnt know how they rang up vegetables and fruit at the time

but i was foricibly unemployed shortly after so it didnt matter.

the guy just stood there with a smile on his face like "what can I say"

it wouldnt of been so funny but my friend mike from art class told me of a similiar story that happened to him at kmart
ROFL! I would have asked him who the unlucky kid was. It would probably cost me my job, but it'd be worth it to see the look on his face.
 
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Magus said:
wal mart sells penis rings?
Yes. I mean no
=P
I worked at Babies R Us for awhile on the sales floor and nothing exciting ever happened. Where the hell are the asshats in my state?!
 
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I have some good ones. My favorite involves this crazy, cross-laden religious looking woman who walked into my bud's hardware store.

She goes up to him, and struggles for some words, before starting her story with this sentence:

"Okay. Satan gave me these cats..."

My friend just walked away.
 

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