Lyrics i made up.

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This is my 4th attempt at lyrics. There not the greatest, but hey, im trying to improve.
as of now, i have starting line and then chourus, but not finished song.
The tune is a slow rock beat not too slow, something like 3 days grace.
the part i posted a few minutes ago, but now i put fast together ther rest of the song. after the first chorus is what i made up in a 5 min period, C&C are welcome it is again my 4th attempt.

I'm all alone, Walking down this road
But by my side, your right there flying high
I try to talk, no response i feel so cold
and yet so old, I fear youv’e died

[chorus]
You wait, You cry
You fly with your wings up high.

You wait, you die,
You slowly fade away,

Come back to me
Come back to me
Come back to me,
Please come back to me

Come back to me
Come back to me
Come back to me
Come back to me now.

Please come back....
[end chorus]

I was there from beginning to end.
Defending you till my last breath
Continuing to sin, helping you hand and hand
From now till then, im still the same, so take my blame.

I didn’t mean for this to happen
I didn’t mean for it to go this far
I didn’t mean for me not to be there
I didn’t mean for me not to care.

But still you wait, after all I’ve done
And still you wait, after all the fun.


[chorus]
You wait, You cry
You fly with your wings up high.

You wait, you die,
You slowly fade away,

Come back to me
Come back to me
Come back to me,
Please come back to me

Come back to me
Come back to me
Come back to me
Come back to me now.



I can’t believe this has finally happened
Your waiting for me to come, but I have to stay
Another day and live for you and me to finally say

I love you, I love you..
 
Lost in space
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I say its not so bad. A tad short but still not bad.
 
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Well, its not finished, lol it will be a reg 3 min song but right now im blank lol.
 
The Duke of Juke
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seems a little repetative to me. Definately needs more verses. The whole "Come back to me" seems like it can get very redundant, especially if you're yelling that part.
 
Death from Above
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Get off my couch
Yelling anything gets old fast

Update us when you do more so it's easier to judge with the whole thing done :)
 
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are you going to record your vocals?

or you're just posting the lyrics?

anyways its commin along so far. i dont know much about this type of music, but i know it'll be good
 
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being a guitarrist and vocallist, i would say that you need to work on getting the chorus shorter and the verse longer...
 
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Well this is my 4th attempt, and i can see where your coming from. no, im not recording vocals im writing lyrics for me band :). im drummer, so i dont know anything bout the gutairing part :)
 

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