Is it better to have loved and lossed, then to have not loved at all?

whereswarren (King_Vegeta)
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lawler thread
 
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No it isn't right to feel that way...if you are no longer together then it was never meant to be...you spent probly the best 3 hours of your life thus far with this girl...and now your regretting it just because thats all you get...

It is better to have loved and lost then to never to have loved at all....I am on the brink of possibly losing the only thing even close to an intimate relationship with a girl that I have ever had...and I'm 18...

You obviously want to learn from your mistakes and in my opinion...the best thing for you to do is not bring sex into the relationship so soon...I don't know what you did exactly...I have no desire to know...I don't kiss and tell and I don't expect anyone else to. The thing is that you shared a bed with this girl after 8 hours at the most right...that is pretty risky in and of itself...mistake number 2 is that 1 if not both of you are young (since her parents were around and have a firm grasp on her decisions) I could be wrong....but that furthers the importance of not bringing sex into it so soon...as harsh as it is...

by sleeping with her you cheapened everything that you had...maybe you fealt love...I dont know you do...but it sounds to me like you think that you fealt love...but it is rather evident that what she fealt was lust...both people have to have the same feelings for each other to have things work out...

I was lucky in whom I meeted over the net...me and her talked for weeks before we exchanged a singly pic...which allowed us to fall in love with each other, not who we look like...but she decided to play the dreaded "I'm just looking for a friend" card...I have heard that enough to know what it more then likely means...all I can do now is hope that I am wrong...

Good luck with your current relationship and all others that you will have...if you want any more advice or just someone to talk too either PM me or IM me over MSN my email adress is [email protected]
 
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i haven't had a grlfriend in a while.
This is playing with your emotions. You miss having a relationship, and now you're desperate to jump over any opportunity that comes your way. Happens to all of us that have been in similar situations.
 
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Yeah, OptiPrime's right dude. That's the whole reason I have my girlfriend right now, practically. It's not healthy but basically I surrendered to her advances.

The thing with the question in the topic is relative. See, if you love and lose, you learn something--that scenario, for better or worse, contributes to your evolution as a person. Every girlfriend you have, when it's over, you will come out a little different; some might rub off on you, some might change your outlook on life. If you're me, then your string of bad luck has turned you into a very bitter and indifferent person who actually does prefer to be alone; even my new girlfriend now, I'm sick of her already just because I don't like the whole codependency part of relationships (and since I have yet to meet more than like 1 or 2 strong-willed independent women in my life, they all end up being blithering weaklings who can't do **** for themselves and thus ALWAYS become codependent...).

If you value this sort of involuntary change as a growing person, then it is better to love and lose. Honestly, there are few things I have seen that make a person change, grow or evolve faster then the end results of a long involved relationship.

If you prefer to make your own fate and find that sort of involuntary change to be a hindrance, then I guess you would consider it better to have never loved at all.

Although I agree mostly with the former, despite my horror stories with women. To not understand love, to not experience some form of it in a lifetime, is to deny the very essence of human brotherhood.
 
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I've never been in a love, and I think it's great. Every single relationship I've seen has either been painfully ended, or a gradual scar, that claims the sanity of the individuals involved. It's safe to say I'm afraid of commitment, guessing that's my response from viewing it all from an inexperienced perspective, because I believe all relationships today are this way. I run from it all. Keep your exemplary methods of pain away from me. Sadly, I still believe I might get lucky, and find the kind of girl I can spend the rest of my life with, but I highly doubt it.

Oh well, I'll just keep trying and hope that love won't always be trial and error.
 
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indeed... i believe i would rather never have loved at all... but at the same time i know that when im in love, nothing seems better. si tis a catch 22.
 
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Hwoarang said:
I've never been in a love, and I think it's great. Every single relationship I've seen has either been painfully ended, or a gradual scar, that claims the sanity of the individuals involved. It's safe to say I'm afraid of commitment, guessing that's my response from viewing it all from an inexperienced perspective, because I believe all relationships today are this way. I run from it all. Keep your exemplary methods of pain away from me. Sadly, I still believe I might get lucky, and find the kind of girl I can spend the rest of my life with, but I highly doubt it.

Oh well, I'll just keep trying and hope that love won't always be trial and error.
You are more right then you know. Love is the most destructive thing I have ever seen.
 
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As far as I'm concerned, Love is mans greatest strength, and yet his greatest weakness. It can bring anyone to their knees.
 

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Love... pffft.... love and hate are like a brother and sister... they don't look like eachother in any way... yet they are very close...

I once loved someone and now i allmost hate her.... its weird how things can go.

but i am only 18, i don't know what true love is.... i will find out, i really hope i will.
 
whereswarren (King_Vegeta)
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Originally Posted by Taurus2112
The thing is that you shared a bed with this girl after 8 hours at the most right...that is pretty risky in and of itself...mistake number 2 is that 1 if not both of you are young (since her parents were around and have a firm grasp on her decisions) I could be wrong....but that furthers the importance of not bringing sex into it so soon...as harsh as it is...
1.) We didnt exactly share a bed, there was a big open room with mattreses all over the floor, and we all just crashed there (the classic half-assed host approach).

2.) Im 16 and shes 15, and we are both still virgins.

Anyways ive got some balls together and got her phone number (I phoned some ppl that know the family and ****) and im gonna phone her and get all this **** off my chest and see if she wants to catch up somtime.

Thx for all the input kids, appreciate it.
 

jp

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Thx for all the input kids, appreciate it.
who's the kid here? ;/

heh, good luck "kid" ;)
 
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ROFL...maybe you should stop calling everybody kids and get over it, you're way to young to be in a depression unless you want to **** yourself up...there's no such thing as treu love as "movie" love as "happly ever after" love this all is just an ilussion we try to make up to satisfaction ourselves...so my suggestion is whenever you get that feeling of being in "love", well just know you're gonna get screwed no matter how
 
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I was about to call you a tool for not getting her number or anything, but I see it worked out. There shouldn't be a problem now... I mean, same city and all that stuff, right?

Anyway, Taurus, dude, did you really think they had sex in a room filled with sleeping children? o_O
 
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Ack!!! kinda missed the sleeping children part...I'm just glad that everything is workin out for you though...good luck...

and some people get turned on by that kinda ****...I am yet to be surprised about that kind of stuff...
 
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after you have your first girlfriend, and lose her, theres always that fear of being alone. Thats kinda what you could be experiencing. Im 19 now, and i only had 2 girlfriends in my life (first at like 16). I knew stuff like this would happen and I know what love is like.

"Its better to love and lost, than to have never loved at all." I can easily tell you this, BULL. losing love would really hurt. being away from the one i now love hurts, Would kill me if I lost it.

Your still young so I give you this advice, Get to know her if you want, but dont ever get too serious unless you know its the girl you will be with. Its what i did, and i know we will be together.
 
whereswarren (King_Vegeta)
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ROFL...maybe you should stop calling everybody kids and get over it, you're way to young to be in a depression unless you want to **** yourself up...there's no such thing as treu love as "movie" love as "happly ever after" love this all is just an ilussion we try to make up to satisfaction ourselves...so my suggestion is whenever you get that feeling of being in "love", well just know you're gonna get screwed no matter how
um dude i think you missed it completely...

Thx for all the input kids, appreciate it.
lol, i didnt mean i thought you were imature or anything, i just say kids, dw bout it.
 
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Its better to never have loved......oh and make damn sure the next girl you get is over her ****up of an ex......i really shouldnt have beat him up :) Oh and sex doesnt nesasarilly cheapen a relationship it only does if thats all u are looking for....Bloody churchies.....made my ex break upwith we because im "not a child of christ" makes me want to puke all over the floor!! Sorry if this offends but you churchies need to get a clue. Reason and logic over faith and foolishness. GRRRRr if u cant tell the wounds are still fresh!! lol
 
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tmisgod said:
Reason and logic over faith and foolishness.
Agreed with that only part in ur ranting...otherwise i think its better to love and loose....lol and this is coming off my first gf...and im 16...anyways we went out for like 3 months with the ocasional making out and such and then i got worried cause well she was a lucky catch for me...and this dude who was "just her friend" as he said kept hitting on her and asking her on dates while we were goin out....so i got a couple of friends of mine to make his life hell if u know what i mean....well she gets pissed at me and i get more worried and i lost her. Yea it sux but we are great friends and shes dating another one of my friends...which i hate by the way....and we still hang out and talk about everything.....but yea it hurt and im pretty sure it always will.
 

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