He's back!!! AND he's a marine!

[Zeonix]

Did I ever tell you that I love you?

I don't think I did. I love you, man.

Don't worry. It's a given.

 

[Chakra-X]

Nix Forces? By what ******ry do you dare refer to the Imperial Legionnaires as nothing more than "Nix Forces"? Surely my lieutenants have not been so lax as to allow all of you to lose the discipline I worked so hard to instill in all of you.

I see that this forum is truly in dire need of a God Emperor. Unfortunately, I can no longer be that person. I've given this decision a lot of thought, and I believe with every fiber of my being that this person will make a fine Emperor. It is without further ado that I introduce to you....



























John "Rambo" Volkov, Ruler of the Part of the Verse M'Lord Zeonix Does Not Want, and Temporary Guardian of the ESForum.



That is his full title, so be sure to type out the entire thing whenever you speak of him, or when he's logged into the forum, IRC, AIM, or what have you. It is imperative that you say "Long live John "Rambo" Volkov, Ruler of the Part of the Verse M'Lord Zeonix Does Not Want, and Temporary Guardian of the ESForum." before you begin every conversation. You should also type that out before doing a google search.

And I was afraid you would abandon your ways

But I apologize, m'lord, but I must remain an independent entity.

 

[Barney]

But apologize, m'lord, but I must remain an independent entity.

Indeed, oh Nixful one. I must agree with Chakra for I am a man of religion. But I'll be glad to be John "Rambo" Volkov, Ruler of the Part of the Verse M'Lord Zeonix Does Not Want, and Temporary Guardian of the ESForum's rabbi.

 

[Grega]

And I was afraid you would abandon your ways

But I apologize, m'lord, but I must remain an independent entity.

M'lord as it was said by the Chakra of X. We must allso remain independent. But do knoweth that thou hast our support.

 

[Zeonix]

The humble Nixidiah of Krone once said:

"A free society cherishes nonconformity. It knows from the non-conformist, from the eccentric, have come many of the great ideas."

Sadly, he committed suicide 12 minutes later. We found him in the trunk of his automobile, throat cut, stomach gutted, eyes ripped out, jaw missing, hog tied, penis missing and with 40 gunshot wounds to his torso. He was quite thorough.

If I were still an active God Emperor, I would allow you to live in peace but it is not I who you must answer to. John "Rambo" Volkov, Ruler of the Part of the Verse M'Lord Zeonix Does Not Want, and Temporary Guardian of the ESForum does not take kindly to nonconformity. My only wish tis that you attempt to be a little more discreet or you, too, may suddenly feel the urge to kill yourself.

 

[Barney]

Oh noes! Brain control!

 

[Zeonix]

Less sci-fi, more Italian Mafia.

 

[Barney]

Ah, okay. Oh noes! My kneecaps!

 

[Zeonix]

They're going to do the things I listed, and then write a suicide note. No one will be the wiser.

Except for everyone.

 

[Chakra-X]

Wait. He committed suicide by executing a mob hit...on himself?

 

[Zeonix]

Alright, alright. I'll explain how it used to work over here. You'd be out somewhere, having a good time when you'd suddenly be taken aside by a few goons, because you owed some money to Fat Paulie and you've kept him waiting for a month. They take you to a quiet, desolate area where they'd either torture you first, or straight up kill you. Then one of them would pull up in a disposable vehicle, and they would then stage a car crash where you'd be burned bad enough that people wouldn't bother looking for gun shot wounds.

The problem is, eventually people started getting lazy so you'd find bodies in the back of cars with suicide notes in their pockets. Of course, their hands and feet were bound, stab wounds all over their torso and they had a gunshot wound to the back of the head, so they were either really good (or bad) at killing themselves or someone else did it.

Then the cops would deem the incident a suicide, do the paperwork and be done with it forever. Why? Because they were on the Family's payroll. Everyone else knew it was a hit, so they did what they had to do and kept their noses clean. Win/Win for everyone but the dead, and those affected by the death.

This is how the Secret Enforcers roll over here on Nixion Prime.

 

[Chakra-X]

Damn. I would be rather impressed with a man who could shoot himself 40 times with his hands and feet bound :/

 

[Brosiris]

Can we like, sticky this thread? Please?

 

[Zeonix]

It isn't worth stickying.

 

[jtabs]

30-ish days.



Physically, it's like I'm a completely different person. No one recognizes me, I can run faster than a locomotive, my muscles are cut as ****, and I'm extremely horny 24/7. Mentally, I'm more relaxed, more confident and more focused. It's a hell of a thing to know I can take someone out from 500 yards away using iron sights.

I wore my Third Battalion shirt yesterday, and about 4 people randomly came up to me, shook my hand and said things like, "Fight the good fight, Marine!". It's a little weird and I don't think I'll get used to it, but at the same time, it's nice to be appreciated by complete strangers.

@Maj: You know me so well. If you were a chick, we'd totally be dating by now.

I guess this is why you want me to cover your "hard sweaty body"?

Anyway congratulations on getting past boot camp and stay safe where ever you go.

 

[Zeonix]

Snow. All over me. Drape yourself over my hard, sweaty body. Feel my whipcord-like muscles beneath you.

 

[jtabs]

I don't know if you're in NY but I'm just past the GWB and Lincoln tunnel in NJ :smile:

 

[Zeonix]

I'm just above you, patiently waiting for you to give yourself up to me.

You look delicious.

 

[Spunky]

Hey guys, what's hap--what the ****?

 

[Brosiris]

Zeo, for the first time in forever I can say with certainty, that you are wrong.


This thread deserves a sticky, and to stay open for ever, and should allow double posts.