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I thought this would be a fun little thread to make.
Post who your favorite comedian is and to add to that, post your favorite line, sentance, paragraph or whatever you want that you thought was the best from your favorite comedian.
 

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I will personally kill anyone who posts the name "Jimmy Fallon".
 
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Jimmy Fallon:

I loooooove Jimmy falllon becuase..


Anyways, There really isn't just ONE I can choose, there's a whole list of comedians that I love watching on Comedy Central (which is my favorite channel).

The list includes:
Dane Cook, Tom Papa, Todd Barry, Jim Gaffigan, Patton Oswalt, Greg Giraldo, Jim Norton, Nick DiPaulo and the list goes on.

My favorite out of that list though, would probably be either Dane Cook or Todd Barry.

Dane Cook has an explosive personality, and he's really energetic on stage. He's got some great material, and a lot of the stuff he talks about pretty much everyone can relate to. He's also just plain silly sometimes, which I just need to see sometimes. I love his bid about waking up late, rolfmao.

Todd Barry, is pretty much the opposite of Dane Cook. He's very monotone, inactive, and he's got a pretty passive personality. The way he works it into his comedy is awesome though. He seems so serious, yet you know he's joking. It's just a perfect personality for his act. I really can't explain it any other way.
 

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David Cross


too many good lines to actually say >_<
 
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Chris Farley... with a Matt Foley inspirational speech from a van... DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!
 
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Ron "Tater Salad" White. ("Ya caught me...! Ya caught the 'Tater!")
Mitch Hedberg[SP?] ("We do not need to introduce ink and paper into this.")
The entire cast of Mad TV...

There are tons more...
 
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dave chappelle
dane cook

i dont know the names of that many comedians.. but i know for damn sure these two are hilarious
 
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lol i love Ron White and when he talked about him getting thrown out of a bar in new york.
Ron White: guy comes over pokeing me in the shoulder and says "Your outa here!" Well i dont think so scooter. And i was wrong. :laff: Love that part.
 

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Sorry forgot to include quotes

Note: This isn't my favourite Bill Hicks quote, as he's said too much **** and a lot of it is awesome philosophy. Just listen to all the Bill Hicks you can. I'm only posting this because of it's application. This is from "the War" on the Relentless album. This is about the persian gulf war, not the current Iraqi war.

"It's just so scary watching the news, how they built it all out of proportion, like Iraq could ever, possibly, under any stretch of the imagination, be a threat to us... whatsoever. But watching the news you never woulda got that idea. Remember how it started? They kept talking about the Elite Republican Guard in these hushed tones? Like these guys were the bogeyman or something. "Yeah, we're doing well now, but we have yet to face the Elite Republican Guard." Like these guys were twelve-feet-tall desert warriors. (makes crashing footstep noise) "Never Lost a battle!" (crashing footsteps) "We **** bullets." (crashing footsteps) Yeah, well, after two months of continuous carpet bombing and not one reaction at all from them, they became simply the Republican Guard. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Not nearly as elite as we have led you to believe. And after another month of bombing they went from the Elite Republican Guard, to the Republican Guard, to the Republicans made this **** up about there being guards out there."

This is from Eddie Izzard's "Dress to Kill"
We stole countries! That's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Just sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain." And they're going, "You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us." "Do you have a flag?" "We don't need a bloody flag, this is our country you bastard!" "No flag, no country! You can't have one. That's the rules... that... I've just made up! And I'm backing it up with this gun... that was lent from the National Rifle Association."
 
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SaiyanPrideXIX Ron "Tater Salad" White. ("Ya caught me...! Ya caught the 'Tater!")


YES man he has the funniest standup ever

and dave chapelle
 
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Robin Williams,
"The Louge, what kind of german gynacologist thought that one up? First I will shove an ice skate up my ass, then I will go balls first down an ice shoot, yes that would be fun!"

Pablo Francisco,
*queue the heartbeat sound affect* "This summer......Arnold Swarcheneggar is......Little Totilla Boy!"

Tom Papa,
"I hate kids, people say it's different when there yours, yeah cause you can hit them. The best I can do is trip them while there goin out the door, "It's called karma Timmy do bad things and bad things happen."

Dane Cook,
"Start your day off the holy way with Christ Chex."
 
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Another good Ron White quote:

"I ask the guy for a beer, and he says they don't take money. I said, 'well...what do you take?' [looks around a little] 'Coopins.'" lol
 
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Lewis Black: He seems like he's ten seconds away from snapping. But that's him, Normal.
 

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