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Have no fear! Barack Obama is here!

I can assure everyone that we have no nuclear weapons what so ever! It's all in your imagination. Move along people, nothing to see here.

Only time will tell.

Quite really! Thanks for Baracking the vote! :) Now time to run this nation with an iron fist! in my bumhole.

Are you retarded? Let me make my last post slightly more clear for those with lesser intelligence; serious guesses only please.

I'm the new BO around here, start guessing. You know, thinking that through, that doesn't come out quite right =/

I will not have any time for stupid games when I'm the president. But until then, I do have time for stupid games.

AAAAGHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

You're all rednecks to me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGFFFFFFFFFFFff

The problem on this planet is we don't have enough drilling in the Marianas Trench.

Hello my ESF denizens. Once again thank you for those who have voted me in and thank you all of the leaders of the Europeaon Union for really kissing my ass lately. Anyways, it is on this day, making this internationally recorded statement explaining one of my main motivations for running for...

I inhaled frequently.

Today I meet with my former rival and political adversary, John McCain. McCain, a true fiscal conservative unlike this presidential counterpart will have valued experience with economic reform that we can discuss. The meeting will be peaceful, and represent the need for partisan cooperation...

Global warming and the ever looming presence of climate change has been something that lingers like a bad feeling on the back of my neck. I've put in a reform to unload more CFC's in the air to get rid of the current atmosphere we have as I am planning to put forth a bill to put up the first...

Indeed I have been elected in a mandate by the people. I'd like to thank Alexander the great in particular for making this happen. But now, a request to all you, my constituents: as you all know, my Inauguration is coming up, and despite all the work being done for the transition, I'm lacking...

DING DING DING DING DING. I was also hoping you guys noticed I used the donations sent to the account to buy me the enlarged avatar package, but I guess no one was paying attention to how poor I am.

1. Is easy. Most companies "wash" their tobacco, eliminating much of the nicotine contained therein. Our tobacco is "unwashed" meaning it contains more nicotine. This is also important since more nicotine means the tobacco is more sensitive to humidity, so you've got to let it sit out a few...

Actually, as an American, I smoke Tangiers. Their tobacco is grown and treated here in our great country. As an added plus for Jewish smokers, it is Kosher. No animal fat is used in our glycerin, it comes from 100% kosher plant sources.

Hookah, man, it's Hookah! Tobacco mixed with molasses and other flavoring smoked through a water pipe!