Saw this on a comment on Reddit today
Industry Talk - A one-act play by CaspianX2
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Music CD: Hey, guys, that illegal downloading sure does suck, doesn't it?
DVD: Oh, yeah.
Videogame: Absolutely.
CD: Yeah, my business has been really down lately because of those pirating bastards. I'm sure you guys are having the same problem, right?
DVD: Um...
VG: Well...
CD: Wait, your business hasn't gone down every year for the past decade?
DVD: Um... not as such...
VG: Actually, I'm doing pretty good, all things considering.
CD: But the economy...
DVD: Oh, yeah, ouch.
VG: Yeah, tough year.
CD: But your sales...?
DVD: Pretty damn good.
VG: Don't mean to brag, but... well, through the roof. With all due respect to you gents, my numbers are probably higher than the two of you combined right now.
DVD: Show-off...
CD: Really? What's your secret? Do you guys have some sort of anti-piracy technology I don't?
DVD: Well, my files are a bit bigger, I guess...
VG: And my developers try stuff like proprietary formats, registration codes... but usually I can't get too fancy with that stuff or people start to boycott. Man, you should've seen that time I tried Starforce. It was nasty.
CD: But the different formats and codes... they work, right?
VG: Eh. Anyone who really wants to pirate a game can do it without too much hassle. Hell, PC games often get pirated before they're even released!
DVD: Oh, that happens to me too! You guys heard about that **** with Wolverine, right?
VG: Oh, yeah, tough break.
CD: Oh yeah. The filmmakers didn't make a dime off of that one, right?
DVD: Oh, no. They totally made bank, and it'll be another big payday when it hits home video, for sure. Hell, some people have even argued that the leak made for great pre-release publicity!
CD: Wait, wait, wait... so you guys have piracy, too...
VG: In all fairness, probably not quite as bad as yours.
CD: Yeah, but... if more or less anyone who wants to get a free game or movie can do it, how do you turn a profit? I mean, why would anyone buy you guys when they could just download you?
DVD: Well, come on, not everyone can pirate stuff on the internet. I mean, most people are pretty clueless when it comes to that stuff.
VG: As much as I hate it, most of the people downloading probably wouldn't be buying the stuff anyway.
CD: So what am I doing wrong? Why have my sales gone to ****?
DVD: Hmm... well, what are you selling?
CD: What? Oh, maybe an hour of mu-
DVD: Oh, come on, you don't need to lie to us. We know better. Be honest now.
CD: Er... the license to listen to about an hour of music.
VG: For...?
CD: I dunno... $10-15?
DVD: Hmm... that sounds a bit steep.
CD: What? That's totally worth it!
DVD: Well, I'm $10-20 for usually about 2-4 hours. So that's kinda' like twice the value, isn't it?
VG: I'm $20-60 for anywhere from usually eight hours to fifty or so.
CD: Fifty hours!?
VG: Well, with some games. Of course, there are others where you could spend hundreds... even thousands of hours on them. And of course there's the multiplayer stuff, which could last a person forever.
CD: Well, a person could listen to the same twelve songs over and over again, too.
DVD: All twelve songs?
CD: Well... actually... usually about half of them are crap... and only one or two of them are really good.
iTunes: Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. What's up? Are we talking about value? Because man, people just can't seem to get enough of me! Picking and choosing the songs they like for a buck or two apiece... it's like there was this whole market just waiting for someone to-
CD: YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
iTunes: Huh?
CD: You *******! You're killing me!
VG: I thought you said pirates were killing you.
CD: They both are!
DVD: Um... maybe people just don't think you're worth what you're charging. Have you ever considered lowering your prices?
CD: Hey, in the last twenty years I've gone down a whole five dollars! Isn't that enough?
DVD: Umm...
CD: Oh, you shut up! What about you, Mr. $60 videogame? How do you justify staying so expensive?
VG: Increased cost of development. Have your development costs increased exponentially over the last decade?
CD: Well... it's... SHUT UP!
iTunes: Music companies have done a lot of haggling over the cost of royalties, so it's tough for me to maintain my prices.
CD: AS WELL THEY SHOULD! You're only hurting their CD sales!
iTunes: But I cut out about fifty middlemen between them and the retail stores, and a lot of the overhead costs as well!
CD: Well, you know what? Screw you guys and your "value". I deserve to be making as much money as I want and that's that! And I don't care what you say, the reason I'm not selling so well lately is obvious - it's the damn internet and its damn pirates and its damn iTunes... well, I have an answer for that. Call my lawyer, it's time to sue, sue, sue! I'll sue everyone! I'll sue YouTube! I'll sue my customers! I'll sue so much I'll be just as famous for my lawyers as I am for my music!
iTunes: You really expect everyone to start buying from you again once you do everything possible to make them hate you?
CD: Why not? It's not like they'll have anyone else to go to for their entertainment!
DVD, VG, & iTunes: .....
Fin.