Not forum related.
People who lie, especially someone in the postion of religion. We were good friends but then she, well, I guess both of us, fell in love. I guess i weghied the risk to ask her out though a bit to much, I don't think you can really ask a girl out at work without a high chance of no due to getting embarassed maybe, or maybe due to pices star discription, we lack confidence (possibly though, those astrology people like to judge it a bit). After a while it had become a littl unbearable, I was getting my trust betrayed in different places all at once, and my mum was pushing me away, witch really just made me start to crumble on the inside, and even people I thought I could trust were killing me on the inside.
Then, one day, it all made sense. For the 2nd time in my life, i was hit by a van (now here's the coincidental part, the word "van & the name Vanessa). I was with my mate and I was helping him with a few things, we ran into the best mate of her ex boy (she didn't know that i knew of him, or use to know him back in my earlier days). He then commented on her as he had seen us together before. We were happy most of the time and i guess i freaked out because i was afraid she would find out that i was planning to do it, I based myself around alternitive witch was waiting till she got off work (sometimes) or quietness at work, but even then i lucked out on myself because of the consideration of asking her out in that time and place. One week she went on a school camp to colaroy, & yet, colaroy is where I nearly drowned as a child, & where my father drowned. That night she got back she was so happy, but before hand I had my angry mental "monster" (aka mother) to deal with just to get out that night
. Maybe, just maybe if I did ask her out that night at work it would of been successful.
Now getting back to what I was sayying about the van part, in that same day, My and a friend were in foot locker, she came up and spoke to him and said "hey does roland really like me?' and he said "well, you two do seem to be happy when you speak to each other". Then she said "I don't want to break his heart". When he told me later on what she had said, I broke apart, everything had just backfired in my face. She could of just told me to my face, said a few friendly words and then maybe half of this situation may have been averted.
This is why now I consider love something that may just grind my gears for the rest of my life with what she says now about me, it's ashame, I really got to know her well and stuff, yes we really did like each other too, it was tehre in the way we communicated, we smiled and waved at each a a lot, and i could tell because when i started college and i was on my lunch break on my way to the shopping centre to get something to eat she would always come up to me and we would start chatting. That whole week she was at colaroy, is when I had worked up the guts to do it, but consdiering work places, i gues i neevr really did have the guts.