Uwe Boll... What More Needs To Be Said?

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Well, Uwe Boll has fought the five hand-picked critics and unfortunately, was able to beat them all by decision. You can find clips of the fights on YouTube though don't expect it to be a bout for the heavyweight championship belt or anything. Here's what Wikipedia had:

Recently, Boll made a challenge to his critics to "put up or shut up". In June 2006, his production company issued a press release stating that Boll would challenge his five harshest critics each to a 10 round boxing match. Invitations were also open to film directors Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary. To be eligible, the critic must have written two extremely negative reviews of Boll, in print or on the Web, in 2005. Footage from the fights will be included on the DVD of his upcoming film Postal. On June 20, 2006, Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka stated on Something Awful that he has been invited by Boll to be the first contestant. Only after that Kyanka reviewed Alone in the Dark. The online gambling site GoldenPalace.com decided to sponsor this event, dubbing it "Raging Boll". The list of five critics to step into the ring with Boll was drawn up in late August 2006, and featured Kyanka, Rue Morgue magazine writer Chris Alexander, webmaster of Cinecutre Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, Ain't it Cool News writer Jeff Sneider and Chance Minter, amateur boxer and website critic.

Boll fought all five contestants, winning every single bout decisively. The first bout took place on September 5, 2006 in M?laga, Spain against Carlos Palencia with the rest of the bouts taking place on September 23, 2006 at the Plaza of Nations in Vancouver.

Lowtax made the following post on Somethingawful.com following his match:

Lowtax said:
Okay I am done drinking, and I'd like to post some more info before I forget it:

1) There was an actual real critic who sparred with Uwe Boll a few nights ago, who was a real amateur boxer. Uwe refused to fight the guy in the ring; obviously he only wanted people with no boxing experience. Anyway, when Uwe was sparring with the dude, the critic / amateur had to quit sparring because Uwe "was taking it too seriously" and really trying to beat the **** out of the guy. So he just said **** it and left.

2) Apparently when we were in another room, Uwe declared he was going to beat the crap out of all of us and try to "win by knockout." You know, like kinda the OPPOSITE of "this is all a PR stunt we will have fun my movies don't suck" that he was saying before.

3) Like I mentioned before, Uwe said we would get training, boxing equipment, and lessons beforehand. None of us received any of this, which didn't quite worry us at the time since he kept saying it was just a PR stunt and he wasn't really going to box for real for serious blah blah blah. NEVER trust a German. Three of the guys didn't even have cups to protect their balls; the only reason I had a cup was because my wife bought me one.

4) The dude after me [Sneider] was throwing up and had an EMT by his side for about an hour. He eventually had to have an oxygen mask on. The dude after him was all bloodied up and looked like crap. They too made the mistake of believing Uwe Boll when he said it was just a PR thing, since neither really trained.
Lowtax added in a post-match interview that, "Half of us (the contenders) hadn't even seen his movies." Sneider shared similar sentiments, stating "I think he's a jerk. This might be PR but I don't want to keep getting punched in the head."

Some of the other contestants, however, have not been as negative. Alexander, in a Toronto Star article, recounts being invited to Boll's beach house on the following day, where Boll asked him about the reasons for his unilaterally negative reviews:

Alexander said:
I had to tell him: Boll's movies are bloated, expensive and incoherent attempts at aping American genre pictures and sport some of the most boneheaded casting choices in filmdom. But I left Vancouver with the impression of him as a delightfully insane, two-fisted rogue, and a shockingly HONEST one at that, someone who absolutely adores film, knows its history and truly lives for what he does.
Alexander referred to the event as "the weirdest pop culture bizarre journalism stunt I've ever been involved in." Minter also praised what he'd seen so far of Boll's upcoming production Seed. Boll praised the contestants in a post fight press conference, stating "I like now the critics... Everybody who was in the ring showed (guts). Nobody dived."

Also, printed in Electronic Gaming Monthly's November 2006 edition of the section "The Rest of the Crap", written by critic Seanbaby, described Seanbaby's own involvement. Apparently Uwe was going to come onto G4's Attack of the Show and promote this fight by sparring with one of the hosts. He claims that, "Again, he's [Uwe Boll] a matchmaking genius, because everyone on TV's 3-feet tall. If you were watching [AotS] during the time I co-hosted, you might have noticed that I could have leaned over and eaten host Kevin Pereira." A producer of the show then asked if Seanbaby would come and spar in the host's place for the event. Seanbaby says that he trains in Muay Thai and Jujitsu, and that, "Boxing is to Fighting is what Hungry Hungry Hippos is to fighting..." When Uwe heard of this, he wanted to know Seanbaby's age, height, weight and fighting experience since he "learned he wasn't fighting a midget". After recieving said information, Uwe suddenly couldn't make it on the show.
Discuss!
 
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What is there to say? This is old news. Boll is a hack.
 
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And by even mentioning his name, you're just giving him more fame, and bolstering the movies that you don't want him to make anyway...

Uwe Boll is the kind of guy that you ignore, and hope he dries up and blows away.
 
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stick me in the ring with him.
 
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I'd like to see Evander Holyfield in the ring with him.
 
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A guy named Sean Baby (works for EGM) was challenged by Uwe Boll. Sean Baby had to give Uwe all of his stats (height, weight, etc) and any background he might have in martial arts or boxing. Sean Baby was like a millionth degree Jedi, so Uwe Boll backed out.
 
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Zeonix said:
A guy named Sean Baby (works for EGM) was challenged by Uwe Boll. Sean Baby had to give Uwe all of his stats (height, weight, etc) and any background he might have in martial arts or boxing. Sean Baby was like a millionth degree Jedi, so Uwe Boll backed out.
Did you not read the bottom of the quote at the top?

It's already been mentioned. :)

Still... Uwe Boll is a dork, and will die in some kind of shooting when a gamer gets pissed off for another bad game movie. :D
 
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No, I didn't read anything. Just the title. I'm making a habit of not reading anything anyone has to say.

They forgot to mention that Uwe offered to bring Seanbaby to the set of a movie he was working on, and Seanbaby agreed...kinda. Uwe Boll suddenly became too busy on the set, though.
 
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"They were better than actors. We looked for local Romanian actresses, but there they are all from the theater and act very broadly. For 150 euros a piece the whores would be naked and do as they were told. It was better." - Uwe Boll (in an interview for Bloodrayne: The Movie talking about why he chose to use prostitutes instead of actual actresses)

What a goofy guy. Lots of motivation and love for film, zero talent.
 

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