Seeking advice.

Lost in space
Banned
Joined
Dec 26, 2004
Messages
497
Best answers
0
All right, here's my story.

Over a year ago, I met a girl on a website. She asked me if I went to the school that she did, and as luck would have it, I did. She was in a higher grade than I was, but we were about the same age. She was also a teacher's assistant in one of my classes, so I've actually seen her before. At that time, I didn't think much of her. As we talked on AIM, we arranged a place where we could meet eachother. We met, and we just waved to eachother. Time passed, and I asked her out for a little date thing.

She came over my house, and we didn't really make eye contact or anything. Apparently, one of her friends lives close to my house, so we went over there. We stayed there for a while, and eventually, it was time for her to go home. We said good bye, and she went off. She seemed to be more comfortable chatting with me through AIM, so we talked over that most of the time back then.

So, as we talked, she brought up her friend thinks we should go out, and I agreed. She wasn't too sure about it, so she gave it time. Eventually, she agreed as well. She was very shy, and I was more of the lovey dovey type, so that took some time to establish a proper connection. Finally, when she was in my arms, she kissed me. I was amazed, and I've never felt happier. After that, our relationship grew, and we eventually began to love eachother.

I asked her if she had been with anyone else before, and she said no. She said that I was her first. The first she's kissed, and other stuff such as that. I lied, on the other hand. I told her I've been with someone else. I mean, I had been with one other girl, but it never went anywhere. I told her that I have all ready experienced my first kiss, I can't remember why.

Again, time passed, and we grew closer. Things became serious, and sex found it's way into the relationship. One night, we were in bed, and it just basically led to sex. I didn't burst her hymen, I didn't want any blood on my bed. Of course, that isn't what I told her. We both loved eachother deeply, but then something happened. I will try to make this short, I don't care for people. I've only cared for about two people in my life. Everyone who wants to spend time with me that I don't know or care about I label my stalkers. One of the only people I've cared about is the girl that this story is about, and the other is what broke us apart. Daniel, the closest thing I had to a brother was killed. I went insane. I became so vulnerable, that the slightest thing would make me burst into tears.

With her on the other hand, I cried quite often. The slightest thing that she did would make me cry, as I said earlier. So, I knew I had to break up with her. I would have to choose between her, or my sanity. I of course chose my sanity. I used to inflict pain on myself whenever I was depressed, or sad. With her, I would get depressed or sad. I didn't know how to tell her, and I didn't want to hurt her.

I didn't tell her for about a month, and we began to spread apart from eachother. She grew concerned, and that began to hurt me. It troubled me that I was causing this because I just didn't want to hurt her. Either way, I would though. I didn't know what to do.

One day, I worked up the courage to tell her. I didn't want to do it in person, so I called her on her cell phone. I made it quick, and I told her that I was breaking up with her. I didn't tell her why, I just tried to restrain myself through the phone call just enough to tell her. She took it very hard. She screamed, and threw the phone. I felt a deep hurt, and I thought she was going to inflict pain onto herself. I didn't want that to happen, so I kept calling her name on the phone, hoping she would hear me. Eventually she reached a state of sobbing, and she picked up the phone, asking why. I didn't give an answer, and I tried to say good bye. She replied, "I love you," and I said, "I know."

After that, I just put the phone back and fell to the floor. I tried to look onto the bright side of things and convince myself that I was fine by singing a tune. Apparently, she walked over to my house and she over heard me singing, "I'm free." That broke the peices left of her heart. I just recently found out about this. Anyway, so I went outside, and tried keep a positive attitude. I tried to convince her that she would be fine, and at the time she wouldn't believe me. I couldn't deal with it anymore, so I just patted her on the back and said what I planned to be my final farewell.

My mother took her home, because she walked to my house, which is about a two mile distance. Time went by, and she started updating her blogs and such. She started on about how I was a horrible person, and how I mistreated her. I'll admit we did have our problems, but she was happy . . . I was happy. This put me in a state of depression, and I began to inflict pain onto myself. My mother found out about it, and called her up. She told her to stop putting all the nonsense she had on there. So, she deleted everything about me, and time went by.

I did not talk or see her for a long while. Eventually, my friend Daniel's fueneral came up. I gave a speech representing him, and his friends. His last wish was to give everything to me, and the thought of that still brings my heart sorrow. Shortly after that, one of my stalkers prank called my mother and father. I was like, "what the hell?" and such. So, I called my ex, and she didn't sound exactly happy. I got a sense that it was unwanted, and that she hated me. She knew this particular stalker better than I did, and she said that he turned into quite a bit of an ass. So, I took her advice, gave her my thanks and farwells.

During the time we didn't see eachother, I've done some pretty idiotic things. I got involved with drugs, sex, and alcohol. I started doing these things frequently, and became a habit. I had my own little fan girls that I would have sex with whenever I felt like it, and I had my drugs to give me an extra high. I tried to make myself forget about the two that I cared so deeply for, but nothing seemed to work. Seeing that none of the things I was doing were helping me, and just caused problems, I stopped. I sobered up, and became depressed once again.

After awhile, problems arised for my family. My father is having problems with keeping illegal animals, and my mother is having trouble paying to live in the state we do. So, seeing that I was going to be leaving, I tried to settle things with my ex. I called her up, and I apologized for any hurt I have caused her. She again had the tone of hatred in her voice, so I kept the conversation short. I wanted to forget about her, so I put everything that she had given me into a box, and left it on her doorstep with a letter.

In the letter I told her that inside the box, was everything that she had given me. I told her that I was leaving, and I wanted to forget about the life I had here. Apparently, she didn't care much for it. I assume she just threw the stuff out. I emailed about the letter, and we chatted(This conversation is in a later post, read it to learn a few things.). Again, it appeared that she hated me. I kept it to about five messages, along the way, I heard something that really hurt me. She didn't miss me, she missed my belongings. In my mind, I questioned that if she had ever loved me. It all added up, but I still refuse to believe it.

She is with someone else now, still with hatred toward me. I accepted the fact that I will never see her again, and that one of the few people I've ever cared for hates me. She still haunts my heart and mind, even the stupidest things remind me of her. Then, I spiral into sadness.

I wonder if I will ever love again. That is all I want. I know the question is not answerable, but I would enjoy if others would share their experiences and wisdom. Most of the people here are far older than myself, so I thought this would be a good place to seek advice.

Thank you for your time.
 

Eon

TeeHee
Banned
Joined
Dec 20, 2002
Messages
5,341
Best answers
0
I'm not joking.

I'm not poking fun.

I'm being serious.

do you think something like this is really something you want to ask on a Dragonball Z themed message board?
 
Lost in space
Banned
Joined
Dec 26, 2004
Messages
497
Best answers
0
There are some people here that I think that have lived life quite a bit, I'm curious on what they have to say.
 

Eon

TeeHee
Banned
Joined
Dec 20, 2002
Messages
5,341
Best answers
0
well according to the situation only thing I can honestly say is you have to get over it, dwelling on it just makes you feel like ****, you just have to apply darwin-esque theory to your life (as put by Pride) adapt or die.
 
Lost in space
Banned
Joined
Dec 26, 2004
Messages
497
Best answers
0
A bit of a harsh way of putting it, but it's true. I think I'll manage, but I'm still curious on what some certain others have to say.
 
Lost in space
Banned
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 21, 2003
Messages
3,608
Best answers
0
I can see where you are comnig from. I myself was in a state of depression like this last year, where a girl I started to like turned all *****y on me, someone I thought I had known well enough decided to be a complete *****. We got along well, but never ended up going out and eventually she started to accuse me of stalking her and then started saying stuff behind my back. I was blind for a period of time, and thought that a few times that I saw her she may of just been having a stressful day at scool perhaps. It still mysterfied me though as to why things were going sour communication wise.

When I found out, I was deeply humilated. What's more so I was deeply shocked before a period of time that this happened. I still remeber one night where I was prepared to ask her out, then she mentioned to me that she had been on camp all week with her school at collaroy. This really came as a shock to me, since I as a child when I was around 7 nearly 8 at the time, nearly drowned in a beach rip at this particular beach, with my father rushing into save me but sadly drowning. I didn't tell her this, since the thought immediately came to my head "If I tell her this then I risk her saying no for a few given reasons, or that I could end up getting hurt a lot worse if things went wrong".

The last time I ever said anythnig to her, I completely lsot it, I went off at her, based on what others had been telling me. This was while she was at work. I was so pissed off at her for betraying me as a friend, not telling me important things she had the oppitunity to tell me earlier and pissed off for all the insults I had heard that were directed at me, she found out my last name and started refering to my by my first name followed by stalker, my real last name is walker, so she thought she'd just be a smart arse about it.

I went off about this for ages, it constantly annoyed me, then I started drinknig to much, and smoked weed once, whi ch practically broke my stance on drugs that I had simply because I jsut didn't want to live such a painful reality. While all this heart brake was happeening, my home life was falling apart infront of me, with all hell braking lose just about everyday (I don't even have a door knob on my door anymore, my borther took the lock off the door for lots of reasons, he suspected I was going to commit suicide and as soon as he said that I knocked him out, and he was out for 20mins at the most, my door has been this way ever since).

Slowy however things became easier to cope with. My mum is still a complete noob and banshee, however she's not as bad as she use to be. The last tiem I felt that pain so much about Vanessa (girl I liked) was when I went to my father's grave on xmas eve last year, I was literaly there for an hour). If I see her now, I take no notice of her, she may try to hurl an insult from time to time, but I remind her that she is infact a very slut like.

That's enough about my exp though. Things hopefully Will get better eventually, jsut do things that make you feel positive about yourself or make you feel like you accomplished something. I myself still am haunted from time to time from my exp with women (heart brake occuring more then once here with total dissapointment), but in the end there are better things in life then just to mope and be feeling pain when you could be doing so much more with your time.
 
Lost in space
Banned
Joined
Dec 26, 2004
Messages
497
Best answers
0
Now that's the kind of response and support I wanted. Someone who could sympathize and understand.

Thank you.
 
New Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2004
Messages
858
Best answers
0
*now pulling into the station life*
That is life kiddo you gotta deal with it, honestly drugs, booze, women. Lol you lived the life most could only dream of while you were in your "State of depression" But honestly just get over it, something i learned a long time ago when my grandparents died, and i to this day say it whenever someone tries to remember the past.

"If you try and live in the past the future will never come, dwindling on the past brings only sorrow or happiness depending on the memories you shared in those times, but the future brings unknown things to the table, and that is what they would want you to see and feel."

There will be other girls, other cars, other jobs, best i can tell you is welcome to life enjoy your stay.
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Mar 6, 2003
Messages
3,999
Best answers
0
What website was it?
 
Member
🍂 Regular
Joined
Mar 14, 2003
Messages
282
Best answers
0
"I will try to make this short, I don't care for people. I've only cared for about two people in my life. Everyone who wants to spend time with me that I don't know or care about I label my stalkers."

Yeah, okay, you don't care for people, then what you made post here and think we actually care for you? We sure wouldn't want to be stalkers.
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
1,585
Best answers
0
Fatality how can u throw away love how stupid can u be no one ever in my life loved me never at all, how can u do such stupid things u had love but u threw it, that's the most stupidest thing i ever heard dude, u know how much i desire to be loved back but i'm not and that hurts the most , u are such a *****
 
Lost in space
Banned
Joined
Nov 4, 2003
Messages
47
Best answers
0
DPred nails it first go o/.

Fatality said:
I will try to make this short, I don't care for people.
But they should care for you? I'm sure you can see the problem here (apart from the more obvious "asking internet randoms to care")

Fatality said:
I wonder if I will ever love again. That is all I want. I know the question is not answerable, but I would enjoy if others would share their experiences and wisdom. Most of the people here are far older than myself, so I thought this would be a good place to seek advice.
My usual advice to people on these kinds of things: "get on with life lol"
If that doesn't work, I'm sure Gillette would gladly welcome your business >.>
 

L

New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Mar 31, 2004
Messages
1,069
Best answers
0
Do something smart.
Start by:
Linking her to this thread.
Do it.
Do it now.
 
New Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Messages
79
Best answers
0
Listen, most of us have had at least one experience similar to yours. There is nothing worse than the feeling of your heart and your guts being twisted into a miserable knot. I know. I've had quite a few girls and relatives cause me this kind of pain. And no, it does not altogether go away. There will always be part of that person/memory there. Yes it does get easier.
Remember this, sometimes it is the pain from these experiences that get us through other tough times in life. Pain defines who we are, so long as we do not let pain dictate what we do, we will be fine. You will be fine.
Just so you know, this type of thing could always happen again, same feeling, different person. Does it get easier? It may not seem so at first, but you will notice each time it is easier to cope.
Sure, you need to move on, don't forget, but do find something else right now that you like to do, something to keep your mind occupied. I am glad that in any attempts to hurt yourself, you didn't cause any permanent damage (I hope), and I am very glad you did not take it out on those close to you (again I hope, but at least they can forgive), and never take it out on the one who causes you the pain, not only is that wrong, but that means they were right. You are better than that. If you've made a mistake, talk to those who are closest to you, if as you claim there aren't any that are close enough to you, open your eyes a little more; there are more people who care than you think.
If not, even if you are not religious, a minister, priest, pastor whatever will always be there if you need.
Or even a favorite teacher.
Or even here.
We care, we are taking the time to talk to you now.
If you want to go lower key, PM me or any of your friends here, or anywhere else online you might have friends, the internet can be a powerful tool in more ways than one, just don't let it run your life, or take the place of real people, ever.
I hope you can find peace within yourself, and the ability to turn this experience into self-strengthening experience that will help you in the future, don't let it ruin you.

I hope we are helping you. Even if this is a DBZ community, I've said before we are a small community, but we obviously all have some connection together, sort of a family of sorts.
We will help you any way we can.

I personally, will keep a direct link to this thread and check back often.
Take care.

Lionheart:
Dude, you are only 14 or 15, it'll happen, trust me, and guess what, the samething will probably happen to you, it just does, you are a fiesty kid, you'll deal fine.

Codeman:
That was a completely assenine thing to say, even if you were joking.
 
New Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2005
Messages
890
Best answers
0
LionHeart said:
Fatality how can u throw away love how stupid can u be no one ever in my life loved me never at all, how can u do such stupid things u had love but u threw it, that's the most stupidest thing i ever heard dude, u know how much i desire to be loved back but i'm not and that hurts the most , u are such a *****
Words of comfort...Really, do you think he needs stuff like that said to him right now...
I think you only need a good friend to get you back on your life. Dont throw away your life while its still fixable. Throwing away those sad thoughs maybe hard, but only way to get rid of them is to get better memories with good friends to think about. To get your life back on tracks...
 

MC

New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
May 24, 2003
Messages
3,989
Best answers
0
Life's hard, and it will always be hard. If anything, that's what makes living fun. The challenges you face are nothing more than steps on a stairs. Each challege you overcome (forget about winning or losing) will give you an extra step to place your foot on.

I've had a lot of bad experiences with girls. The thing I've learned from those bad experiences is that, stuff happens. You make mistakes, the girl makes mistakes, no ones perfect. The only thing you can do is accept it for what it is instead of fighting against it. I never accepted my bad experiences for what they were, I just denied them and it did nothing but make matters worse. That continues to stack until you cannot hold on anymore, and then when you least expect it, it comes crashing down on top of you.

That happened to me more than once, but over time I learned to accept the things that happened for what they are.

I agree with everyone else when they say that you should just move on and not dwell in the past. The past is the past, the present is the present, and the future is the future. The past is behind you, the present is now, and the future is yet to come. so there's no need to look down, there's no need to look up, you need to look forward.

Life is unable to move backwards or stand still, it can only move forward. You on the other hand, can stand still or move foward, but you can't move backwards. So when life takes a swing at you, will you just stand there and take the hit, or will you move foward and face it?
 
Lost in space
Banned
Joined
Dec 26, 2004
Messages
497
Best answers
0
Thanks for the reply, Goku, you've helped. You too MC and Jariroth.

DPredator said:
"I will try to make this short, I don't care for people. I've only cared for about two people in my life. Everyone who wants to spend time with me that I don't know or care about I label my stalkers."

Yeah, okay, you don't care for people, then what you made post here and think we actually care for you? We sure wouldn't want to be stalkers.
I don't expect that you should care for me. If you were a decent human being, you would offer advice when needed. Apparently you do care if you bother to reply.

Fatal_CobraX said:
Do something smart.
Start by:
Linking her to this thread.
Do it.
Do it now.
It's kind of pointless. She hates me, on top of that I'm moving.

Pain said:
What website was it?
It's down now, wouldn't matter.

LionHeart said:
Fatality how can u throw away love how stupid can u be no one ever in my life loved me never at all, how can u do such stupid things u had love but u threw it, that's the most stupidest thing i ever heard dude, u know how much i desire to be loved back but i'm not and that hurts the most , u are such a *****
I'm sorry?
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
1,585
Best answers
0
Jariroth said:
Words of comfort...Really, do you think he needs stuff like that said to him right now...
I think you only need a good friend to get you back on your life. Dont throw away your life while its still fixable. Throwing away those sad thoughs maybe hard, but only way to get rid of them is to get better memories with good friends to think about. To get your life back on tracks...
i just sayd what he did wasn't apropiete if u are loved my oe person then hod on to it don't let it go but he threw it away thsoe are the kind of guys girls get with and they have no felligns for them and 80% of them are jerks and girls think thats hot and cool but once they end being pregnet or they bf breaking up for a stupid reason they understand that it's to late

@fatality sry doesn't count dude u threw away the person that loved u the most how can u do that?!
 
New Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Messages
79
Best answers
0
Fatality,

I am glad I can be of any help here.

I am completely serious, if need, just PM me, or like I said, I will continue to check this thread at least a couple times a day.

And just another piece of advice for the future; communication; it seems that the worst of all our problems, especially in relationships is that we hide things from each other. These are supposed to be the people we care about the most, right?

Any relationship is doomed from the first moment you decide to not share something, or decide to keep something buried altoghether.

Trust me, most of my failed relationships is because I was afraid to hurt their feelings, or I wanted to save face. Huge frelling mistake.

Just talk to those that you care about, like you are doing here.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top