Quitting Smoking

[Barack Obama]

Now as many of you know, I quit smoking. It was a promise I made to my family before going on my campaign. Sure, you've seen that blurry picture of me in random blogs, forwarded emails, and whatnot:

Unfortunately, most people do not realize that it's photoshopped from this picture:

Want to know a secret? It's not smoking that I quit. Only cigarettes. What I smoke now is a tradition that runs in the parts of my blood that I'd rather not have brought up during my election due to many news sources using it to fear monger. Just what is it? I'll never tell

 

[Barney]

I'd smoke a jay with you Obama.

 

[Zeonix]

What a ****smoker.

Psychadelics are the way to go.

 

[Almighty_Gir]

lol, tbh a president on acid would still produce better results than Bush...

 

[Zeonix]

lol, tbh a president on acid would still produce better results than Bush...

He'd probably divert all military funds to NASA after talking to an invisible mechanical elf, creating a scientific golden age for humanity.

 

[Barack Obama]

Hookah, man, it's Hookah! Tobacco mixed with molasses and other flavoring smoked through a water pipe!

 

[Deman]

I knew what you were talking about, you stole my custom smiley you bastard

:hookah:

Now the important question is, do you smoke such brands as Al Fakher, Al Waha, or Al Amir?

 

[Barack Obama]

Actually, as an American, I smoke Tangiers. Their tobacco is grown and treated here in our great country. As an added plus for Jewish smokers, it is Kosher. No animal fat is used in our glycerin, it comes from 100% kosher plant sources.

 

[Deman]

A Tangiers smoker, eh? To truly test to see if you're not just blowing smoke up my ass (pun intended) I've got a couple questions about it for you...

1. Say I was to tell you that Tangiers gives me a buzz as to where other flavors don't... Why is that?

And here's one you can't find the answer to on the Tangiers website....

2. What is the optimum setup used to smoke the Tobacco so it doesn't burn improperly and become harsh?

 

[Barack Obama]

1. Is easy. Most companies "wash" their tobacco, eliminating much of the nicotine contained therein. Our tobacco is "unwashed" meaning it contains more nicotine. This is also important since more nicotine means the tobacco is more sensitive to humidity, so you've got to let it sit out a few hours before smoking it. That way it will obtain equilibrium, much like the balance between partisan parties I'd like to have when tackling our economic crisis.

2. There's a special bowl called a phunnel that works perfectly with Tangiers. When you use it, you've got to poke a ring of holes around the outside of the foil and some believe a few wholes in the exact center are important as well.

I'm going to assume my answers were satisfactory?

 

[Deman]

Alright, your last statement is a bit ****y, but you know what you're talking about. Next time you're in Fort Collins I promise not to have a stomach bug and we should have a smoke session at Algiers!

 

[Synth]

DOOM enjoys.

 

[Damaera]

You should change your forum name to Dr. Doom.

 

[Barney]

Tangiers.

I thought I knew hookah tobacco and I've never heard of this brand. Al-Fakher all the way baby!

Nice nod to the Jews by the way. I appreciate that.

 

[Barack Obama]

I inhaled frequently.

 

[Barack Obama]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGFFFFFFFFFFFff

 

[Synth]

I liked you before the photoshopped cigg.