He Knows...

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Chuck Norris.com EVENTS PAGE said:
IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET


I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris
It made me laugh.
Discuss.
 
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Things like "Chuck Norris does not believe in God, God believes in Chuck Norris" And "Chuck Norris can divide by zero" etc etc. Showing how all powerful chuck norris is. I find it hilarious.


And that quote... if that IS chuck norris...lma ****ing o.
 
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When and how did these "Random Chuck Norris Facts" start appearing?

I wonder if this will prompt people to buy his books..
 
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He is actually advertising his books....how...stupid.
In case you don't know these "facts" look here:

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

Some of them are hilarious.

"When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever."
 
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****ing lmao, those facts crack me the **** up every time.

"At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris."

My favorite. XD
 
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The internet works in mysterious ways...

"Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement."
 
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You brought tears to my eyes. :D

I forgot all about Ol' Chuck, I loved those things.
 
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I never really got whats the big deal about him. His moves are all 2nd class at best and his acting skills arent even good.
In fact, everytime I see him on TV, im INSTANTLY forced to switch to the next channel. I 'd rather watch teleshopping then chuck norris on TV HAHA
And I'm not kidding.
 
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DJ-Ready said:
I never really got whats the big deal about him. His moves are all 2nd class at best and his acting skills arent even good.
In fact, everytime I see him on TV, im INSTANTLY forced to switch to the next channel. I 'd rather watch teleshopping then chuck norris on TV HAHA
And I'm not kidding.
Exactly
11 hundred
 
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Its ironic. Everyone knows he sucks balls.

Everyone also knows JEAN CLAUDE VANDAMN IS THE BEST MARTIAL ARTIST EVER!
 
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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down.

Lmao
 
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Zeonix said:
Its ironic. Everyone knows he sucks balls.

Everyone also knows JEAN CLAUDE VANDAMN IS THE BEST MARTIAL ARTIST EVER!
What ever happend to good old Bruce Lee :p


Anyhow those facts are great. Made me laugh.
 
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He died : (

I don't know what the instant fascination with Chuck Norris is these days, but what I find funny is that the man has found out about it and is commenting on it... by ADVERTISING his ****ING book... I mean wtf

I think this is false. Everybody knows Chuck Norris doesn't use computers anyways. He was using windows 95, and when he tried to install his own game and it said "go to 'My Computer'" he could not fathom the concept, since he was already AT his computer. He then roundhoused his monitor.
 
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Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of his, what was supposed to be a relaxing day, punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, “Trix are for Chuck Norris.”

hahah i laughed for 20 straight minutes at this one
 
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Chuck Norris rules, but this stuff probably only started happening because of the stupid internet song that mentioned him.

One of the coolest things I remember seeing as a kid, was this movie where Chuck Norris was fighting this weird unkillable guy. They had a pretty ugly brawl, it wasn't over until Chuck finally kicked him into this weird ditch and the guy couldn't get out. So...respect. heh.
 

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