Gone

[Skiwan]

okay, i hate to get all emo on y'all but i just need to get this off my chest somehow... slag me off for moaning if you wanna, but i honnestly couldnt give a **** if you think i should keep this to myself.

The past two years ive been stupid, and ****ed up 6th form and college by dropping out, but im putting that right now with actually going to college and doing the work. However in that time, my best friends have got their A levels, and are now off to university. Im stuck here without the friends ive had for most of my life, one of them, James, who ive known scince i was 3, and well, some of my first ever memories are with him. James is more like a brother than a friend, me and him have been best friends scince i met him, he's always been there, and he's always helped me out. I've never not had him around, he was always the charismatic awesome guy everyone liked and its always been that if ive got to know people its usually through him, because im quite shy. I've been learning recently i dont really need him to make friends, but thats not the point, he's always looked out for me in a way nobody else has, and now, as of today, he's not gonna be there. I feel so alone. Im at a complete loss as of what to do with myself, i have friends around here, but they arent the type i can connect to on that level.

Its scary, strange and awkward now, it feels like im not gonna get through this without changing dramatically. I know he's not gone forever, but i dont know how to cope without him there, i cant call him up and hang with him when i feel fed up with the world and feel better. I cant just give him a call and head down to his and forget about whatever's bothering me. Its like now i have to deal with life all by myself.

The other thing that worries me is that we'll grow apart and it wont ever be like it is now... all my best friends, know the score, and know how i am, and truely accept me, but now i have nobody around like that to be with on a regular bassis. Its like im stranded all by myself.

maybe this all sounds rather ***gy to you, but to me its a completely new experience because ive never not had these important friends there when i need them, and its really scary. Any opinions/advice you have are appreciated. I just need to let this out, because there isnt anyone i can really tell this to now.

 

[Dragonballz4]

well wut can i say thats life.... friends come and leave.. well best i can give u is try to make new friends srry couldnt be more of help

 

[Skiwan]

i do have other friends but what im saying... is that the ones who ive known best and most and gone through life learning with are gone. They cant be replaced.

 

[Dragonballz4]

well i dont have friends that i went thorugh life with... well best friends dont have to be long friends i have long time friends but i made a best friend during 5 months so wut i'm saying is try to make another best friend.

Since u guys are such good friends then i dont see y u cant call him up and stuff

 

[madgik]

Well the best piece of advice I can think of is that, its not about replacing old friends, its finding new ones. If all you do now is try to get new friends that are exactly like your old mates you wont move on.

Im sure your still gonna be able to hang out with your old mates, when they come home from uni during holidays. Im not sure about them but I kinda got depressed when I left for uni that I wouldn't be hanging out with my old mates. Unless they all go to the same uni, I reckon your mates are feeeling the same that they cant all hang out aswell.

 

[Spunky]

Ok, look. I've been there quite a few times. Not that exact situation, but I've fealt hurt at losing some of the best friends I've ever had, and so you've got to understand that there's nothing I can say to make you feel better. However, I can say this. Think of the good times you've had in your life with James, and the bad times as well. Think of past experiences that you've undergone together, and the outcome. Eventually, you will start to feel better at the loss. Belive me, I feel for you. You had a lot of courage posting this for a bunch of people whom you've never met to read. That takes balls. Hope you feel better is all I can say.

 

[Kasey]

It happened because it's supposed to happen. It's your destiny. Everything happens for a reason either for better or for worse but youll make it through it with the support of your friends. You can always call them or something and maybe you'll meet new friends along the way. Friends who can also help you through those times when your feeling down. Maybe you'll meet your "significant other" who could also help you. You also always have your family for support. Heres $20 bucks go to the strip joint and have a good time. ^^

 

[Dragonballz4]

Ok, look. I've been there quite a few times. Not that exact situation, but I've fealt hurt at losing some of the best friends I've ever had, and so you've got to understand that there's nothing I can say to make you feel better. However, I can say this. Think of the good times you've had in your life with James, and the bad times as well. Think of past experiences that you've undergone together, and the outcome. Eventually, you will start to feel better at the loss. Belive me, I feel for you. You had a lot of courage posting this for a bunch of people whom you've never met to read. That takes balls. Hope you feel better is all I can say.

its not like we can stalk him or anything but its true tho telling ppl whom u never met takes alot and u will get over eventaully "Time heals all wounds"

 

[Enix]

I had a similar experience recently. It was my first year in a public school since the 5th grade, and i was going into 7th. I was going to the school for about a week and then this guy comes up to me and put his arms around me and said "hey, you are my kinky sex monky ok?". Ofcourse I laughed my ass off, because I have never heard that before, and I have never seen this guy before in my life. He was the first person in that school to ever talk to me as a friend. After that we where best friends, and it was because of him I became quite popular in the school, we always hung out at school and worked together on every school project...it was a special feeling to know someone actually cared about you. My best friend since the 1st grade never treated me like he did. Then came summer vacation, I saw him a few times, but not much and was wondering why. I went back there for 8th grade and happy that I was going to get to attend school with him again and it would be just like last year. Come to find out the second day of school he moved out of state, it was a horrible sinking feeling, and the next few days where awkward and felt empty. I never thought I could actually be that hurt by my best friend, a guy! But it hurt worse then breaking up with a girlfriend, sounds *** but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Hurt me so bad I dropped out of that school and was then homeschooled for my 8th and 9th grade... Now in my 10th year, I think about it everyday, wishing I could have those days back, it was a horrible feeling of nostalgia, but I always thought nostalgia was supposed to feel good...

Hate to write such a huge story, but im just showing that I can relate, it sucks really bad and is one of the worst feelings ever, and I only knew him for a year, i cant imagine how you feel, knowing your friend for practically your whole life.

 

[Pain]

If it helps, Dave, I <3 joo.

 

[Skiwan]

Thanks for the advice, and i know its not like im never gonna see them again, infact im gonna see them as much as i possibly can. Its just... scary that they wont be there like they always have been scince i can remember. In a way, they're much more on the same level as me than any member of my family. I know im gonna be best friends with James untill the day i die, its just he's not immediately there anymore. Its a weird thing to experience if you've never had that happen before.

and yeah enix... i know exactly what you mean, breakups dont mean **** in comparision to the possibility of loosing amazing friends.

I <3 you too pain =]

 

[Chakra-X]

Well I'm not surrpsied that you would be depressed. Now I haven't even graduated high school, so that may cancle out my opinion, but the best thing it is to focus on the friends and not the feeling of "never seeing them again".

Obviously, you cant find exact replacements, but let me try to put it in words so that i don't hace to type a lot, so try to follow this metahpor, ahem...

I like koolaid, no, LOVE it, but when I run out, i am sad. Nothing can replace the koolaid, but I live through it, by drinking water and coke, because even though I don't have koolaid with me, I know it is still on shelves at ACME.

So yeah follow my koolaid speech..

 

[Skiwan]

I like koolaid, no, LOVE it, but when I run out, i am sad. Nothing can replace the koolaid, but I live through it, by drinking water and coke, because even though I don't have koolaid with me, I know it is still on shelves at ACME.

heh, thats a pretty good metaphor actually

 

[Enix]

Yea, I actually enjoyed that .

 

[Zeonix]

Move on. Dwelling on the past doesnt help.

 

[Skiwan]

its not dwelling on the past, its more about the future, and prospect of the unknown, because ive never not had them around. I love the times ive had with my mates, im not dwelling on anything other than what im gonna do now.

 

[Spunky]

Move on. Dwelling on the past doesnt help.

Actually... Sometimes it can...

 

[Dragonballz4]

Actually... Sometimes it can...

............how....? i remeber my past it always makes me more sad

 

[Damaera]

About 4-3 years ago I had a best friend move away back to Ohio. I've only known him for two years. But it seemed forever. I'd try to go back to college and make friends. But I have no idea what I'm saying because I'm still in school -.-.

 

[jp]

Hmmm, Know how you feel dave,

Had the same thing, when I went to college some of my friends went to another degree or other school, while they were my best friends, friends I couldn't replace...

Its impossible to replace a friend, but it is possible to find new ones, not to replace, but rather to, fill up that empty feeling in your heart, maybe that sounds "mean" because it sounds like replacing, but it would only be unfair to yourself, if you wouldn't find new friends.

I myself didn't mind the lonelyness, i'm a "lone wolf", and friends come and go and I won't stay sad if they go, I allways remember them, and the good memories I had with them, even if i'm allone.

I'm sure you'll find new friends, its just scary to look to the future, because its unknown and different then before, before you had an idea how it would go, now you don't.

But you'll gonna be allright, I have no doubts about that.