Fan fiction (What if) Goku ss3 versus Majin Vegeta

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Chapter 1 - The Tournament Budokai Tenkaichi
Gohan, Vegeta, Junior and all the others arrived to the venue of the event when behind them they heard a voice: "Hello guys, finally we'll see eh?". Everyone turned and saw Goku, who arrived there with his usual teleportation. His friends noticed immediately around him to hug him. The happiest of the group was Goten who had finally seen his father. "So, we're going to enroll?" said our hero. After the entries were selections to choose warriors among the strongest and most prepared, those that have participated in various battles. The reporter announced as the scores of the various competitors: "Kila: 70 points" or "Panter: 85 points" and so on. And until this point everything is normal, but when it was the turn of our heroes, "C-18: 794 points." All present were astonished and thought that the machine was broken, but wanted to continue for a while to be sure, but had not broken, the group of Goku was simply terrific and it went "Krillin: 220 points, Junior: 425, Goku, 368. " Was the turn of the Prince of Sayan, "Move." And punched deadly scaraventandola the machine against the wall of the building, destroying both the one and the other. They were all in awe. "And the damage those who pay them now?" Gohan said, puzzled. Well, of course our heroes and all passed the turn. At this point, the clearings for the meetings. "Come to extract the number 2" and then "number 3" and so saying to the Z warriors who were not sure they can win. Among the participants had met two strange beings, one down with a white crest and a purplish skin and his friend, on the contrary tall with red color. In addition, there were two others, with a very aggressive, but they did not seem to worry too much our friends. But they did not, what they were getting.
"In the first meeting: Krillin against Panther" announced the host.
"In the second: Junior against Shin" (that was being low and purple)
"In the third: Gohan against Kibith" (the friend up and red)
"In the fourth: Videl against Spopo*****" (one of the thugs threatening)
"In the fifth: Goku vs Vegeta"
"In the sixth: C-18 against Jewel
"Finally, in the sixth, Kila against Yamu" (another madman threatening). "Well, finish selections! Meetings begin in half an hour. Meanwhile, relax and get ready!"

Junior is Piccolo in Italian
 
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You need to work on your writing.
I suggest using paragraphs. Also if you want to start writing, youll need to get your grammar straight, since the way you write now is really confusing to read and being a wall of text, makes it really annoying to.

Use paragraphs and spacing to create the flow of the story, and taylor that flow to the events you are describing.
 
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dude this shit is the greatest shit ever not even kidding
 
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Maybe read some other FanFiction before continuing, I found that hard to read
 
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Ok thanks guys I remember you that I'm Italian. It is quite difficult for me. Sincerely I translated a fan fiction I made in Italian using Google translator. XD
 
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Ok thanks guys I remember you that I'm Italian. It is quite difficult for me. Sincerely I translated a fan fiction I made in Italian using Google translator. XD
Being Italian is no real excuse. I know someone from there and his english is really good. And while you can hear the Italian accent when he speaks, he knows how to form sentences correctly. And he is not as young as you im sure, so it was probably harder for him to learn it than it is for you.

So dont use your nationality as an excuse for being lazy, but thats something you have to decide on your own. We can only give you tips on what you need to improve based on what you post :)
 
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Being Italian is no real excuse. I know someone from there and his english is really good. And while you can hear the Italian accent when he speaks, he knows how to form sentences correctly. And he is not as young as you im sure, so it was probably harder for him to learn it than it is for you.

So dont use your nationality as an excuse for being lazy, but thats something you have to decide on your own. We can only give you tips on what you need to improve based on what you post :)
Sorry you're right :) I'll do my best for the next time :D
 
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Long story short, Goku goes SSJ3 => Vegeta gets pounded into oblivion.
 
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For the next chapter I'm going to write by my hand without google translator XD Perhaps it will be better. Do you want I call Piccolo or Junior? There are some differences by italian characters and english ones. Yamcha is Yamko Tenshinhan is Tensing Piccolo is Junior Frieza is Freezer. Some examples XD

--- edit ---
 
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Doesnt matter what names you use. Just have a little explanation of the name changes at the end of your post :)

Long story short, Goku goes SSJ3 => Vegeta gets pounded into oblivion.
You do not seem to understand what this part of the forum is about. I suggest you read though the old threads of this place.
 
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For the next chapter I'm going to write by my hand without google translator XD Perhaps it will be better. Do you want I call Piccolo or Junior? There are some differences by italian characters and english ones. Yamcha is Yamko Tenshinhan is Tensing Piccolo is Junior Frieza is Freezer. Some examples XD

--- edit ---
Keep at it

The forum needs more things like this
 
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I'd say keep the fanfic coming! True, it is a little hard to read, but I still like it.
 

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