Death Note fan fic.

[dan_esf_fanatic]

Yay, my first post in this part of teh forum \o/

Anyways, like anyone else, I like to let my imagination run loose once in a while. Especially when an anime has a crappy ending. I've written lots of fanfics, and started this one recently.

Death Note - Reincarnation of God


Chapter 1 - Born Again



Silence.

Darkness.

Awaken.




Light's POV




This is it. It's all over. I've.....failed. Myself, and the world. I've completely failed. So.....dark. Cold. So this is death. Heh, funny, I don't even feel any more pain from the bullet wounds anymore. It's just all darkness. I wonder what Ryuuku meant when he said that I can go neither to Heaven nor Hell. It will be interesting, to die. But I will be too saddened by my failure on Earth to enjoy it. Oh well. I guess it was a good life. Now let's see what happens.


***

In an instant, Light stopped thinking completely, and let the vortex of death that was lifting him up envelope him completely, and awaited the reaper with open arms. He couldn't see anything, and as far as he could tell, he wasn't breathing anymore. He didn't feel the need to. Everything was still dark. Then he opened his eyes. The dark clouds above him threw him into a bigger depression, but at the same time, woke up excitement inside of him. His flimsy legs barely managed to lift him from the ground, as he looked around him. Bones were all over the place, as well as the disgusting stench of decay.

"Three Death's Heads and five buffalo ribs...HAH! I win!"

"Damn it. I'm not lucky at all today."


"What the hell..." said Light as he heard the mysterious voices around him. "Who's there!??!"

"Ah, he's awake." said one of the Shinigami that was gambling on a cliff above them. "Hey, new guy! Once you rub the sand from your eyes, come up here and play with us a bit!"

"Who...who are you!?" said Light, scared out of his mind as soon as he saw the Shinigami's ugly face.

"Oh, he's fresh." said the other one. "We're Shinigami, you idiot. Just like you."

"I'm a....Shinigami!?" said Light, and for the first time since he woke up, looks at himself. His hands were much like Ryuuku's, and when he looked at the other Shinigami he could clearly read their names, but not their lifespans. It was definitely true, he was indeed a Shinigami.

"So this is what Ryuuku was talking about." said Light, coming to a realization. "Neither to Heaven nor Hell. Those who use the Death Note as humans become Shinigami when they die!"

"There, now you're making sense." said the first Shinigami. "Now come up here and play, there's nothing better to do around here."

"But...this cliff is steep and it's six meters tall." said Light.

"Just use your wings, you idiot." said the second one, getting annoyed.

"How do I do that?" said Light.

"Don't be stupid, you know how to use them." said the Shinigami. "Everyone does."


Now that he thought about it, his wings did feel rather natural. When he tried to move them, they moved. He started moving them up and down and started floating upwards, eventually reaching the top of the cliff.

"This is wild!" said Light, impressed by his new abilities. "Don't tell me all you guys are doing is gambling when you have these?" he said, and continued to fly around.

"Damn it, I hate freshmen." said the first Shinigami.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." said the second, and they continued gambling.



Light kept flying and flying over the barren Shinigami World. Flying and looking for a certain Shinigami that caused his death, and his life's ambition.


"Damn it, where is he..." said Light. "He should've gone back to this world after I, the first owner of the Death Note, died. This is strange."

"Yo, Light." said Ryuuku, who was flying above him. "Good to see you again."

"Hey there." said Light.

"Whoa, man Light, even though your transformation into a Shinigami changed your body completely, you still have those "sharp eyes of justice" you had as a human." said Ryuuku. "It's strange. Well forget that, God wants to speak to you."

"....God?" said Light.

"Brace yourself, he might not be exactly what you humans fantasize about." said Ryuuku. "You see that door over there?" he said and pointed in a certain direction.

"I don't see anything." said Light.

"I thought so." said Ryuuku, and sighed. "Most Shinigami don't see the door until they pass through it once."

"Most?" said Light.

"Yeah, me and a few others saw it right away." said Ryuuku. "But that's not important now. Just grab my arm, you can't die here unless you save a human, so technically nothing can happen, but it's rather annoying having to charge at the door a few times with you missing them."

"I understand." said Light, and grabbed onto Ryuuku. They sped into nothingness from Light's point of view, but somehow he knew that Ryuuku was speaking the truth. In a moment, he saw an amazingly bright light, and if he was human it would've blinded him for sure. As soon as he could see again, it was dark again. In front of him was an almost human-like entity, shorter than him and Ryuuku, sitting in a big chair made of skulls.

"Welcome, Yagami Light, to my chamber." the man said. "I am God."

"....God!?" the look on Light's now immortal face changed completely, from one of confusion to a totally different one, of shock. This man was really....God?

***

So am I any good? Not that I'll STOP writing if the answer is NO, I just won't post any further chapters .

 

[MC]

I never got into Death Note, but this story is pretty good so far. I can't find any errors, so good job! The only suggestion I have is to use paragraphs, but that's up to you.

 

[Grega]

The story itself is nice. But you have some character difrences.

Like Ryuuku. He would never say Light has eyes of justice.

Ryuuku was the guy who doesnt care about stuff like justice. All he cares about is how to make it interesting for him. He also absolutely hates to be bored. As such he doenst really say redundant stuff like "Nice to see you" eather.

Ryuuku would probably just say Yo Light.

Also in teh series i think they mention the King shinigami rather than god. Since shinigame actually means deathgod ^^

Also Light doesnt seem like the kind of person whood be exscited by the fact that he can fly. Instead heed probably start thinking about how to use it to his advantage once he was done thinking of his current situation.