It seems a little confused to me. The render is nice, and the basic positioning isn't too shabby, but there's a lot going on that doesn't seem to relate to anything. My first reaction was that the type looks awful, what program mangles text like that? My second rection was, if a song is going to be the focus of a piece, why not make the lyrics legible? Another thought on that, I read through the lyrics and it seems like a very sad song. I haven't heard it so correct me if I'm wrong in my guess. But I don't really feel sadness in this, I get anger and confusion from the imagery. That seems inconsistent. And again I have to ask why the tiny text and random lines? I think you're on the cusp of something here, but you need to pull a few things together to make it work.