Corrupt a Wish - The Inevitable Return

[DiebytheSword]

Granted! You lose your job to a bowl of sentient walnuts! You are also given the entire works of JasonDanny in compensation.

I wish Hong Kong Phooey was real!

Holy . . . he finally gets it.

Anyway

Granted, Honk Kong Phooey does exist, but you didn't wish his cat sidekick into existence. The last anyone hears of him he was trying to save some Doku guy from a burning building.

Also: http://www.flixist.com/eddie-murphy-will-play-hong-kong-phooey-because-why-not--199999.phtml

I wish JD wrote well and Walnuts just ******* died, wholesale slaughter style at the hands of the hero of our story, Avenger. Bonus points if you work in .50 caliber incenidary rounds.

 

[Denz]

He did write it, but our hero Avenger never expected another blackout followed by rape, murder and voayer acts, thats why he couldn't stand it anymore, went to Cuc's lab and on top of the Aldelorium soup dish he found what seemed to be the way out of all of it. Forensics gathered the rest of the .50 cal incenidary rounds from Avengers brain which contained traces of HIV that lead back to JD's "walnuts".

I wish I taped my first poo poo

 

[Cap J]

Granted, the walnuts are destroyed. He starts off with the bowl that wronged you and begins to hunt down each and every other walnut. Avenger goes on an epic journey that features, love, friendship, rivalry, gratuitious male nudity, heartbreak, vengence, and disco. The walnuts are reduced to tiny fragments, a shell of their former selves, by the powerful .50 cal incendiary rounds. Unforutnately JD writes so well that you are reduced to tears at every paragraph. You can no longer read his work as you don't want your family to see a grown man cry so often that it makes him dehydrated.

I wish camels could speak.

EDIT: Ninja'd

Granted, you taped you first poo poo....unfortunately you feel the need to show everyone....including brand new girlfriends.....who are a little weirded out by your insisting they watch it and leave you. You die alone....with poo.

I wish camels could speak.

 

[Avenger]

They can, but it turns out camels are douchebags. All they talk about is chewing stuff in a weird manner and how they're able to convert water into stearine in their humps.

I wish modafinil had no dangerous side-effects, and that it was available without prescription.

 

[DiebytheSword]

Granted. You become well adjusted and polite as a side effect of not being sleepy all the time from being drunk the night before. You even realize that there is no need for alcohol in your world, you become absolutely average in every way. When the appointed hour comes, an alternate universe Avenger appears and belittles you for being a pussy. He then cuts himself open and strangles you with his/your intestines to show you what being a man is all the **** about. Other Avenger sleeps only when his blood loss overcomes him, having no need for Modafinil. This Avenger becomes the hero of our story.

I wish I was done with my workload for today.

 

[IFlip92]

Granted. Your workload is done for today. But tomorrow is another day and the workload doubles.

I wish the government would stop treating us, the public, as fools and start showing some respect and care towards the world for a change and not just the members of the parliament.

 

[DiebytheSword]

Your wish is granted, just in time for the zombie apocalypse. You lose everything in World War Z against Zed.

I wish that last corrupted wish was a bit longer.

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! Your workload increases one hundred-fold instead tomorrow.

I wish that we all started a McDonald's franchise, right here on the forums!

 

[Tenzo]

Granted. But now we're all overweight and diabetics. Some of us aren't even alive anymore.

I wish i could do this: [video=youtube;SftUYBXiVS4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SftUYBXiVS4[/video]
Skip past 1:15

 

[MrKurt2011]

Granted, sadly whilst doing this the red baron flies by and hits you causing you to explode into a bloody pulp while he crashes and survives.

I wish I was the red baron climbing out of the wreckage and to go home, learn from my near death experience and to enjoy my life and be a family man.

 

[Grega]

When you get home you look at the near death experience and decide its time to call it quits. But since you would be executed for being a deserter if you used your real name, you find that no woman even wants to look your way because of your scared face from the crash, without you talking about your airborne adventures, which gets you into a bind. Will you start using your real name in order to find yourself a wife and be executed, or lay low and stay alone.

As the years go by your wish grows bigger and bigger until you finally snap. 5 months of visiting a psychiatrist and a lot of pills later you find the only person who wants to be with you. A gay German bodybuilder named Hans who has the hots for your scars. Seeing as he is your only chance to be a family man you dont tell him you are straight and until you depart from this world you are the woman in the relationship.

Enjoy being the family man in a gay relationship where only your back door is ever used XD


Now i dont post much in here cause coming up with interesting wishes is a pain. So I wish i was in WW2 dog fighting messerschmidts with an F-22 Raptor that has an unlimited supply of fuel and armaments.

 

[Avenger]

You are! But it turns out that you really suck at flying, and you crash your fragile aircraft straight into a Messerschmidt and die a fiery death.

I wish ninjas were yellow.

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! However, this leads to your untimely demise in a field of daffodils!

I wish socks always stayed in pairs!

 

[Cap J]

Granted, unfortunately this means that socks get fiercly defensive of their partner and eventually you get choked to death by your socks for repeatedly violating them with your feet.

I wish there was always a parking space free when I needed one.

 

[Denz]

One day you started seeing this free parking spaces just for you, it was like a miracle! You parked your car, sat there for few minutes and enjoyed your parking space. All of a sudden a comet hits that parking space and you survived legless, without your car even O:!!!

I wish I could see myself in 3rd person perspective

 

[Grega]

Granted, but you can only see yourself from a close up crotch position looking at your wang all the time.

I wish i had some kryptonite

 

[Zeonix]

Granted. Kryptonite is ridiculously radioactive and you now have 16 kinds of cancers, 7 of which have never been seen before.

I wish my cat could turn into a giant version of itself. But it needs to look like a giant house cat. Not a tiger or anything.

 

[Cap J]

Granted, it turns into a giant version of itself....so giant that it sucks in the entire atmosphere of the planet in a single breath and suffocates the population....and then the cat dies shortly after too. Aliens who visit the planet in the future can only stand in awe at the skeletal remains of such a large beast and assume we must have accidentally created it by playing god(emperor). To mock our stupidity they turn our planet into a public toilet.

I wish I had a microwave that could create anything.

 

[Zeonix]

Granted. Everything you create is irradiated. You meet up with Grega in the cancer ward, though he is later moved to a secure facility as several of his cancers are contagious.

I wish the TSA didn't treat me like a terrorist every time I went to the airport, especially when going to or returning from a deployment in what is obviously my battle rattle.

 

[Avenger]

They stop treating you like a terrorist, but instead treat you like an immigrant. You are deported, and doomed to live the life of a mercenary, not receiving any of your military benefits. Your cat lives a lonely life until you come back to claim her in a daring raid on your home. Police officers subsequently shoot you dead as you carry your beloved cat to safety; a tear in the corner of your eye as you see it getting away safely.

I wish I were better at granting and corrupting wishes.