Corrupt a Wish - The Inevitable Return

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Granted, but now the sun rises from the west, the birds swim underwater, winged hippos sing nyah nyah songs on rainbows, the moon becomes permanently blue and the earth gets hit by a meteor.

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Granted, but you accidentally make yourself an old man and for that split second you trip on a pebble and roll down the grand canyon, eventually to your death at the bottom of the chasm.

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Granted. You no longer exist.

I wish Hyb understood the beauty in Warhammer.
 
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Granted! He's now also into modern art.

I wish night shifts were shorter!
 
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Granted. Night shifts are shorter, because the children are going to die whether you're there or not.

I wish my cat could ride me.
 
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Granted, you pick your cat up and put it on top of your head, unfortunately you find out your cat is scared of heights and it pees all over your head.

I wish I was the Walrus.
 
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Granted, but then you realize that I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. Shortly thereafter, your brain experiences bliss, and self-destructs.

I wish Sub wished that Cap J wished that Cucumba made it so Zeonix could ride his cat.
 

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Granted, but Zeonix will most likely end up crushing his cat and end up killing that which he loves the most.

I wish that Cap J wished that Cucumba made it so Zeonix could ride his cat.
 
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Granted! Although he did it via Doku, meaning the process was unnecessarily cheerful and cochleaphobic.

I wish juggling was a professional sport!
 
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Granted. On an unrelated note, everyone you try to help dies in the way I was supposed to die by way of Sub's wish.

I wish an evil Doku existed out there and his sole purpose was to wrong your rights, as well as make it possible for me to ride my cat.
 
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Granted! This evil Doku is incredibly unpleasant! He never says please or thank you, and he steals lollipops from children. You do get to ride your cat, however, you find that its feet have been replaced with castor wheels. Ensuring that your riding is moderately unsafe!

I wish that there was an apathetic Zeo, who ignores any form of argument no matter how flawed it may be!
 
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GRANTED! ZEO APA....THIES....HIMSELF TO THE OTHER SIDE AND CARES FAR TOO MUCH ABOUT ALL THINGS! NOW HE ARGUES WITH PEOPLE EVEN WHEN THEY'RE RIGHT!

I WISH SUB UNDERSTOOD THE POWER INHERENT IN THE AIR CONDITIONING UNIT.
 
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He does. But reptilian shadow-people took him away and replaced him with a Sub to Her-, I mean, the overlord's liking. The overlord now spends his days in a gay club, torturing Sub by stripping for him and performing rancid sexual acts in front of him.

I wish Zeo shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
 

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Granted, but it was you he shot, Avenger.

I wish my wireless internet connection was much better.
 
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It's an amazing internet connection all right. But the only person you can communicate with through it is Heron.

I wish Zeo would make sweet love to Sub and Heron.
 
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Granted. I make sweet love to Sub while also stroking myself. When I climax, you pop out of me, Avenger. And then I make love to you, as well.

I wish Sub and Avenger were the bestest of friends.
 
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We are, but secretly, Sub and I are the same person. You scream out in terror only to realize your cat's legs have given out underneath your weight. The shock of realizing who Sub... Who *I* was, made you subconsciously ride your cat, regardless of its inability to carry you.

I wish cats were more like cats.
 
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Granted, cats are now quite remarkably likes cats.....only they have dog heads and talk like Brian Blessed.

I wish I could be free from the chains that hold me in avenger's basement.
 
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Granted, you are free from the chains but there is no exit in Avenger's basement. Only an entrance.

I wish I had a SUPAH computer.
 
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Congrats. You are the new owner of the Severely Under-Powered Ancient-History computer. Enjoy pong with 2 FPS.

I wish I had the ability to not get sick ever.
 

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