Corrupt a Wish - The Inevitable Return

[Grega]

Granted, but his super powers cause him to tear off both your legs, due to his lack of control.

I wish i had some of Cap_Js pasta

 

[sub]

Wish granted. You obtain a limited quantity of the pasta. You enjoy it immensely. You desire more pasta. Each day that goes on your desire for the pasta grows. Days pass. Months pass. One year passes. You've spent the last year in a vain search for the pasta. You've become so consumed in the search that you have lost your job, your friends, your wife, and all 6 of your kids (this takes place in the future when you're happy married with children.)

In fact, all 6 of your kids commit suicide because they miss their father so much. You meant the world to them. There was Little James, who was seven. He shot himself in the head with your hand gun that you keep for home safety. You left the box unlocked. Your wife cried for 17 weeks when this happened. Then there was Mary. She was so distraught by your absence that she strangled herself to death. Or she tried to, anyway. In the end she had to settle for putting herself in a box crusher that was at work and crushed herself to death. Then there was Kate. She decided to drown herself out back in the pool that you built two summers prior. She tied concrete blocks to her feet and jumped in on the deep end. One minute into the jump she realized that she had made a terrible mistake. She tried galliantly to untie the concrete blocks from her feet, but succumbed to death, never to taste air again. Mike refused to eat until your return. He lasted a miraculous 40 agonizing days. Lisa overdosed on pills, pills that she got from a hospital visit because of an injury she sustained from an accident that you caused months prior. Your favorite child, Sub, whom you named after myself, killed himself by driving his car into a river while high on cocaine.

In any case, you've spent the past week digging through dumpsters in search for the Pasta. The past two hours were spent crawled up in a corner in the fetal position. You will spend the rest of your life like this.


I would very much desire Avenger to contract aids. Damaera too.

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! However, they both suffer from a rare genetic mutation which gives them immunity to the virus. There are around 1000 people out there, what are the odds?

I wish Grega would save my cat from a tree! (Assuming I had a cat and a tree)

 

[DiebytheSword]

The unlikely hero of our story does in fact save your cat from a tree. But he, in his drunken stupor, puts the cat down in a near by wood chipper. The parts become stressed, gnawing up something that doesn't belong, naturally. The next day, when landscapers try to use it to mulch the tree, it catastrophically fails, shooting a large chunk of wood through your home killing your computer. That equipment catches fire and destroys your home. You return to your house expecting a warm meal and some ESF testing only to find ashes and good intentions gone bad.

I wish today went off without a hitch.

 

[Avenger]

It does! But then tomorrow is the end of the world. The ashes of the dead rain down from the skies in grey flakes; the heavens turn red, clouds keep the Sunshine out, and Glenn Beck is on television 24/7.

I wish Dokutayuu would corrupt this wish!

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! But I corrupted it in all the wrong ways!

I wish my fictional cat were alive again!

 

[Avenger]

It is, thanks to Miracle Day, but it shortly becomes an incubator for all the world's most terrible illnesses. Inevitably, you and all non.microbial life on Earth die out from horrible illness.

I wish I could keep a hedgehog as a living, unharmed pet.

 

[Cap J]

Granted, but you got the hedgehog from a "young animal offenders" institution. It one by one starts killing all the other pets in the area, then starts on their owners. Ultimately your hedgehog kills your entire family and frames you for all the murders. Once you are in jail it seeks a new owner so it can start it's work anew.

I wish I had a pet godzilla.

 

[Grega]

Granted, but it accidentally steps on you when you are washing its toes.

I wish the next RVB ep would be out already

 

[Dokutayuu]

Granted! However, it's from the series "Real Violent Baking". Which, at best, is two people arguing over oven settings.

I wish for an ever swinging pendulum.

 

[Avenger]

Granted, but you got the hedgehog from a "young animal offenders" institution. It one by one starts killing all the other pets in the area, then starts on their owners. Ultimately your hedgehog kills your entire family and frames you for all the murders. Once you are in jail it seeks a new owner so it can start it's work anew.

Again, how is this a corrupted wish?

You have an ever-swinging pendulum, but it only exists in a perfect vaccuum, affected by constant gravity. As a result, you can never actually see your pendulum for fear of ruining the Z-point energy balance in the system.

I wish I could inject ice into my veins without negative side-effects.

 

[Cap J]

Granted, you now have ice flowing through your veins. Now everytime it's warm outside you have people coming up to you and stabbing you so you bleed ice into their drinks. Once the ice runs out you are left broken and lifeless on the pavement, dogs and the homeless use you as a toilet.

I wish they weren't remaking The Evil Dead.

 

[DiebytheSword]

Your wish is granted, the original never existed and the new one is the only one. Congratulations on undoing Bruce Campbell.

I wish I could make a snowman out of apocalyptic ashes.

 

[sub]

Granted, but the snowman comes to life and starts singing like Frosty the Snowman. It's horrible for all involved.

I wish that the next person to post in this thread dies immediately from an imaginatively horrible and painful incident shortly after hitting the submit button.

 

[Zeonix]

Granted. I'm walking in a field of IEDs and am torn to shreds, but do not die immediately. Instead, I bleed out over the course of 16 hours, filled with shrapnel, covered with 2nd degree burns oozing pus and water, and limbless. Thank you, Hyb. Thank you for this sweet release.

I wish I could ride my cat.

 

[Cap J]

Granted, the second after I click "submit" my chair breaks and the support column tears a new hole between my rectum and my scrotum. This doesn't kill me though and in great pain I start trying to stagger for help. I get to outside my house then fall back. I land on my newly installed wheels of pain and roll down the driveway onto the busy main road. There I travel for several miles, screaming while cars swerve to avoid me, all the while the column sliding slowly deeper. Onward I keep rolling, getting clipped by bumpers and wing mirrors, the column gradually piercing one organ after another. Eventually I roll into the hospital, practically sitting directly on the base of the chair, drowning in my own blood as the column pierces my lung. Finally I die as I reach the reception desk and the staff member asks "mother's maiden name?". Fortunately the hospital has long since thrown morals to the wind and decided to mess around with people for fun. On a whim the doctors decided to remove my brain and insert it into a new body that they "found" and so I wake up in the body of an 18 year old girl.

I wish damaera was the Queen of France.

EDIT: DAMN YOU PRAETOR. ><

 

[sub]

Granted, Damaera is the Queen of France. He gets assassinated.

Granted. I'm walking in a field of IEDs and am torn to shreds, but do not die immediately. Instead, I bleed out over the course of 16 hours, filled with shrapnel, covered with 2nd degree burns oozing pus and water, and limbless. Thank you, Hyb. Thank you for this sweet release.

****. I want to wish that I didn't kill Zeonix, but that would just get corrupted, probably to the effect of him dying in some other way. So I'm going to wish that my previous wish to kill Zeonix is irreversible, knowing full well that the next poster must corrupt this wish in a way that he somehow comes back to life.

 

[Zeonix]

Granted. I am returned to the world of the living, while retaining the shrapnel wounds, pus and water oozing second degree burns, and without limbs. I'm completely worthless, and am in unimaginable pain, but at least I'm alive.

I still wish I could ride my cat.

 

[hleV]

Granted, but your cat receives an appearance of Damaera.

I wish my wish didn't get corrupted.

 

[sub]

Granted.

I wish Zeonix was limited.