- Aug 13, 2003
- Best answers
yesss...Two late night hosts. I like conan better, he seems to be more funny and Leno kinda bores me.
I think this answers that.Bill Hicks on Rant in E-Minor said:"I'm kinda bummed because I'm missing right now even as we speak, my favorite cultural train wreck, 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.' I'm like a rubbernecker, man. Every night, it's the crash of f---in' metal when that show starts. Me and my friends have a little office pool wondering when exactly which episode and which guest is gonna be on the night Jay finally puts a nine millimeter in his mouth and blows his Dorito shilling head off his f---in' body. I think it's gonna be Joey Lawrence from the show 'Blossom,' uhhhhh...other of my friends beg to differ and think Patrick Duffy a more likely culprit.
"'So hi, everyone, welcome to the show. Tonight we have Joey Lawrence. Hi, Joey. How are ya? It's good to see ya again. Boy, it was always my comedic dream to be 44 years old and interviewin' a little Tony Danza wannabe every three months. Boy I'm fully fulfilled as a human, spiritually. So, anyway, Joey, you're 16 now, you're 16 years old?'
"'That's great. You gotta license? Ya' drivin'? Ya' drivin'?'
"'That's great, ya' gotta license. Ya' gotta car? Ya' gotta car?'
"'Ya' gotta girlfriend, hmmm? Ya' datin' somebody? Anybody special?'
"'Yeah, no, well, she thinks so, I don't, hee-hee-hee-hee-hee.'
"'Good God, what have I done with my life?' *Ch-chick...PLOOOSH!*
"His brains splew out, forming an NBC pea**** on the wall behind him...
"...'cause he's a company man 'til the bitter f---in' end. It all started when he did the Doritos commercial. Here's the deal, folks. You do a commercial, you're off the artistic roll call FOREVER. End of story. Okay? You're another corporate f---in' shill, you're another whore at the capitalist gangbang, and if you do a commercial, there's a price on your head, everything you say is suspect, and every word that comes out of your mouth is now like a TURD falling into my drink."