Chuck Norris facts

[DJ-Ready]

Ok, here it goes.
Everybody posts one fact at a time
<hr noshade>

The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.

 

[Adaptus]

Chuck Norris does not exist.

He is merely a life-support system for his beard.

 

[Barney]

Chuck Norris' calendar goes from March 31st straight to April 2nd...no one fools Chuck Norris.

 

[SailorAlea]

Contary to (seemingly) popular opinion, Chuck Norris does not kick ass. Chuck Norris is a theatrically worthless, washed-up B actor who was forced out of acting, resorting to ten "Total Gym Workout" commercials a day to feed his coke habit.

I guess he should've followed the cheesy, pseudo-inspirational "lessons" the characters he played taught.

iiiiiiiiiiiii

 

[DJ-Ready]

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

 

[Hibiki]

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

 

[Synth]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits. (pretty much the best one)

 

[Avenger]

In Soviet Russia, vodka doesn't drink him. That's how bad-ass Chuck Norris is.

 

[frsrblch]

Chuck Norris is a fundamentalist, Bible-bashing Christian.

 

[Punishing]

Outer Space exists only because it's too afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

 

[Avenger]

Chuck Norris is so awesome that he has no parents. He gave birth to himself.

 

[LionHeart]

When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push himself up he pushes the earth down.

 

[The Deco]

Chuck Norris is so awesome that he has no parents. He gave birth to himself.

Lol thats good.

Heres not mine(someone else I dunno who)

Chuck Norris has been dead for years. But the grim reaper is too afraid to tell him that.


Thats awsome admit it!

I GOT ANOTHER ONE
"Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery." "

 

[Kaination]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

 

[Brosiris]

And God said "And let there be light!"

And Chuck Norris said "Say please"

@ Sailor: In "The Alphabet of Manliness" 'N' is for Chuck Norris, so yes, he does indeed kick ass.

 

[Punishing]

Kicking Chuck Norris in the balls would only get yourself hurt.

 

[Hibiki]

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.

If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only be seconds away from death.

 

[Renyori]

The USA nuked Japan because they thought it would be too cruel to send Chuck Norris there.

 

[MC]

Chuck Norris doesn't worship God, God worships Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't avoid fights, fights avoid Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't divide by zero, zero divides by Chuck Norris.

 

[DaRkOwNs]

Trix are for Chuck Norris. **** kids.