Best Headlines of the Year

[Vegeta's Briefs]

There's not enough comedy here, so here's something I got in e-mail. Many of you probably did too. I have no clue what they are either, because I've never seen them myself, lol.


THE YEAR'S BEST ACTUAL HEADLINES!


CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER


SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS


POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS


IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS


IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS


PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE


PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER


TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS


MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH


JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT


WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE


IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY. IT MAY LAST AWHILE


COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES


COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE


RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES


TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD


MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE


NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP


ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT


KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS


CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY


LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF


HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

 

[Optimus Prime]

That's not funny... It's all in how you read it, where you put pauses and the tone of voice you use for various words.... Throw in a few commas and they all make sense.

Oh and btw, Uranus is pronounced Yer-In-Is.

 

[ssjFajita]

But since this is supposed to be a joke it is funny. ROFL!!!

 

[Synth]

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

hahahaha these are classic!