a serious question about love.

[Tsunami]

I know this may not be the best place to ask, but here it goes.


Basically, I'm 23, and in love with a friend that lives in Australia. Problem is, she's 35, married and has 2 kids. What do I do? I really do love her, but how do I tell her without ruining our friendship and ending up in some kind of affair?

I thought about not saying anything, but as time goes on my feelings for her keep growing stronger and stronger. I can't hide them from her.

/rubs eyes GAH What do I do?

 

[SailorAlea]

Telling her is only going to cause you both grief. It's not going to lead anywhere if you do, and you love her enough to not want to damage her family, don't you?

Sucks, but there's not much you can (or should) do.

 

[Zeonix]

I know this may not be the best place to ask, but here it goes.


Basically, I'm 23, and in love with a friend that lives in Australia. Problem is, she's 35, married and has 2 kids. What do I do? I really do love her, but how do I tell her without ruining our friendship and ending up in some kind of affair?

I thought about not saying anything, but as time goes on my feelings for her keep growing stronger and stronger. I can't hide them from her.

/rubs eyes GAH What do I do?

GIVE ME SIGHT BEYOND SIGHT!:

You tell her, you get shut down ("Oh...thank you. I...I just don't feel that way about you, but you're a good friend. I have kids and loving husband...and....seriously what were you thinkin? Why didn't you just read Zeo's post?"), you cry a bit and then you finally move on.

But not really, because the pain is still there.

My advice is to realize the utter futility in such a gesture and move on with your life. Whatever you think may happen, isn't. She isn't going to drop everything and say she loves you and hates her kids. Take a deep breath, pour what you think is love into a bottle, cork it and find someone who'll love you back. I'm on the market if you're interested.

 

[[S]]

It could also ruin your friendship if she only thinks of you as a friend and nothing more. Let it go for a while and try being her friend and being there for her and see how things go. Maybe further down the road you'll see an opportunity but for now you don't want to be the guy that tears a family apart.

 

[Tsunami]

Yeah, I don't want to cause grief, or ruin her family.

I managed to talk to some of her friends and asked them their opinions, and one of them told me she is very free with her love. They told me I should tell her and see if we can't work something out that won't ruin her family or get me heartbroken....but I wasn't so sure.

 

[Damaera]

Let it be and find another woman. There's my advice to you. =P

 

[[S]]

Anything you tell her will either ruin her family or break your heart it's not like she can avoid both it's either A or B.

A is she loves you leaves her family and joins you ruining her family

B is she tells you she loves her family and you have your heart broken

No middle ground better to just be her friend and let it go and see how things work out. Horrible to say but alot of marriages do end up in divorce and if that happens then maybe you have a chance but it still doesn't guarantee her falling for you. Your best bet find someone like Nix said who can return your love.

 

[Tsunami]

/sigh

Yeah, your right .


Damnit, why is it I always end up falling in love with the married women? GAH!

Well, I'd rather be friends than loose her altogether.

Thanks guys, ya'll were the slap in the face I needed.

 

[Deman]

/sigh

Yeah, your right .


Damnit, why is it I always end up falling in love with the married women? GAH!

Well, I'd rather be friends than loose her altogether.

Thanks guys, ya'll were the slap in the face I needed.

If thats the case then you need to take a step back and think why you're falling for woman who are utterly unattainable to you. I know I may be busting out the folk psychology here, but I'm willing to guess that your mother or at least a female guardian figure was never really there for you, her feelings just right outside your grasp.

 

[LionHeart]

Follow your heart + brain ?

 

[Pieter Paul Rubens]

MILF-hunter?

 

[Tsunami]

If thats the case then you need to take a step back and think why you're falling for woman who are utterly unattainable to you. I know I may be busting out the folk psychology here, but I'm willing to guess that your mother or at least a female guardian figure was never really there for you, her feelings just right outside your grasp.

No, my mother throughout my life has always been there for me.

I think one of my friends described me best by saying....

"Dude, your the kind of person that when your shown kindness, compassion and affection it affects you more than any other person. This is probably why you fall for people so easily."


I don't get treated by people very well. Why? A lot of it is because I'm in a wheelchair, I'm not normal. And a lot of people in society don't like people who arnt normal. Girls my age treat me like ****. If I can't walk, not skinny and not sexy they don't care about me. My friend in Australia at least cares about me, showed me friendship, compassion and affection. She doesn't care if I'm in a wheelchair, she actually tried to get to know me, to understand me. I guess this is why I have feelings for her.

 

[Kaination]

No, my mother throughout my life has always been there for me.

I think one of my friends described me best by saying....

"Dude, your the kind of person that when your shown kindness, compassion and affection it affects you more than any other person. This is probably why you fall for people so easily."


I don't get treated by people very well. Why? A lot of it is because I'm in a wheelchair, I'm not normal. And a lot of people in society don't like people who arnt normal. Girls my age treat me like ****. If I can't walk, not skinny and not sexy they don't care about me. My friend in Australia at least cares about me, showed me friendship, compassion and affection. She doesn't care if I'm in a wheelchair, she actually tried to get to know me, to understand me. I guess this is why I have feelings for her.

And that's one thing. If there's someone in Australia like that, I guarentee there's someone like that in your town.

And also chew on this for a second. Lets look at the other side of the table for a second.

She has two kids. Now if you told her you loved her, yeah you'd be happy. But think of the two kids? She seems young enough to where the kids should be roughly 8-13 years old. Maybe younger if she recently had them.

Imagine if you stole their mother figure from them early on. It'd be horrible.

I'd say you can tell her how you feel, it's up to you, but from what I can tell I'd just try to find someone. Go out and talk to people and try to meet someone out there. Someone will give you a chance yo.

 

[Zeonix]

And that's one thing. If there's someone in Australia like that, I guarentee there's someone like that in your town.

And also chew on this for a second. Lets look at the other side of the table for a second.

She has two kids. Now if you told her you loved her, yeah you'd be happy. But think of the two kids? She seems young enough to where the kids should be roughly 8-13 years old. Maybe younger if she recently had them.

Imagine if you stole their mother figure from them early on. It'd be horrible.

I'd say you can tell her how you feel, it's up to you, but from what I can tell I'd just try to find someone. Go out and talk to people and try to meet someone out there. Someone will give you a chance yo.

All of that is under the assumption that she'd reciprocate his "love". I can guarantee she'd shut him down faster than The Nix can purify They Who Must Not Be Named.

There are people out there who think a stripper wants to marry them because she smiled. Don't be that guy.

 

[Brosiris]

All of that is under the assumption that she'd reciprocate his "love". I can guarantee she'd shut him down faster than The Nix can purify They Who Must Not Be Named.

There are people out there who think a stripper wants to marry them because she smiled. Don't be that guy.

I was that guy once. She felt bad for me and gave me a freebee. I should be an actor.

 

[Killface]

Yeah, I don't want to cause grief, or ruin her family.

I managed to talk to some of her friends and asked them their opinions, and one of them told me she is very free with her love. They told me I should tell her and see if we can't work something out that won't ruin her family or get me heartbroken....but I wasn't so sure.

Something similar to this happened with my family... and you wanna know what happened?

It ruined my parent's marriage, destroyed our family, and caused alot of hatred between everyone.

She's married dude, trust me... you don't wanna end up in that situation. It sucks, but you gotta lay off man. You're running a huge gamble with this, and its almost positive that it will ruin your friendship and ruin her family. Just find another woman, you'll survive...

 

[Tsunami]

Yeah. I'm gonna lay off, not say anything to her. I wanna keep our friendship, not ruin it and her family.

*Deeeeep breath*

 

[Killface]

Well.. good luck man.

 

[Almighty_Gir]

tell her after a bottle of whiskey.

if she says she loves you too, then ****ing ey!

if not, you can blame the booze.

 

[Raeku]

Yeah, what Girr said.

If you really are into married chicks go for those who either A) Don't have kids or B) Has kids, but by kids I mean a hot 16year old daughter.

Seriously though, this does look like trouble..