I Challenge Cuc!

Why not just skip the level and go right to the boss?

-Karrde-

You dare challenge the mighty Cucatoth!

Death should be savored like fine wine, but if in concideration of your impatience I must kill you now, so be it.

You're on *****!

I will ref this fight
The venue will be an abandoned town

Karrde leisurely strolls through the dusty streets, glancing about at his feet. Stopping, he looks up, his eyes following the ominous shadow until his eyes are locked with those of the green devil: Cucumber.

"So. Do you wonder why it is that I asked you here?" He smiles slyly. "You see, in any organization, a continous struggle for power ensues. Those who fail to meet this challenge become obsolete, their names all but forgotten. Your blood is weak. You stagnate, living from day to day on such pathetic, outdated ideals. Fortunately, this situation can be remedied. You are a relic, and are best suited to be displayed as such. Old and decrepid, your rule ends here. I will claim authority over this organization as your foolish mismanagement comes to a close! Now die, *******!"

What do you think this is, the WWE?

I will always retain my position here, for my might is boundless by your puny standards. You children are all the same, blah blah blah. Long winded with 2 dollar words that essentially convey no true deeper meaning than a goldfish blinking it's eyes. I have scaled the mighty Mount N00bus, and there forged this ban saber with my own hands, using the blood of a thousand spammers killed by my own hand! And you talk to me about, remedies for my mismanagement?

I will enjoy showing you that culmination of absolute power and stagnation are two very different things indeed.

"Hmmph! Bansaber... Isn't that your response to everything? The poor in will tend to force that will on others through such extravagant means. But I will show you the mark of a true leader! Come, face me!"

With blinding speed, Karrde's left hand darts forth, grabbing hold of Cucumber's narrow wristt, the other hand driving itself into his leg as he lifts the elder onto his shoulders into a fireman's carry. "Too slow!" Karrde bends over backwards, suplexing Cucumber into the ground, leaving not but a lcoud of dust behind. "You think I would walk into this unprepared? And believe it or not..." Karrde grips his pressed suit tightly, ripping it from his body to reveal the most rediciulous, overtight, spandex wrestling outfit ever assembled since 1983. "...I DO think this is the WWE! Sure, sure, I have my day job here, but in this competitive world, one job is just never enough to suppot oneself." Karrde leaps on top of Cuc but is quickly repelled by a powerful kick to the gut. Wityh blood leaking from his mouth, Karrde slowly gets to his feet. "I didn't want to have to do this... But it looks like I have no choice!" From seemingly nowhere, he reaches inside his "unifrom" (read: Rediculous Costume) and produces a large chair with which he violently bludgeons cuc in the head. Repeatedly.

The wind blew between the young upstart and the ancient horror that is Cucumba. Karrde dashed in for a quick succession of punches and kicks, but the blows glanced harmlessly off of the mighty admins chest. Cucumba's frown deepened as the green machine struck Karrde in the chest with a mighty fa jing strike, sending him carrening into an abandoned saloon. Karrdes' body smashed through the window and skidded to a stop in the middle of the floor.

"Is that all you have Karrde? I thought you were made of finer stuff. Are we not prepared today," shouted the administrator.

"I'm ALWAYS prepared . . . " Karrde jumped out in a wrestling uniform, ". . . And yes I do think this is the WWE!"

Karrde ran towards Cucumba, narrowly dodging a punch, and speared him. Cucumba reeled from the blow, rolling on the ground and clutching his ribs.

"Like I said, squash, you're yesterdays business model, and I intend to update your profit margin!"

With that, Karrde hit Cucumba with a series of german suplexes. Cuc laid on the ground, motionless.

"And to think, I prepared months for this, I thought it would be a difficult match! At least put up a fight, you sorry invalid."

Cuc exploded from the ground, kicking Karrde in the chin while arching his back and sprung off his hands to put his feet back on the ground. While Karrde backpedaled to maintain balance Cucumba advanced with menace in his motion. Cucumba reached out and slammed karrde's head into his knee, followed by a spinning jumping wheel kick to Karrde's ribs. Karrde collapsed on the floor as Cucumba tore off his Admin Knight robes to reveal a Tae Kwon Do dobuk. ( also a uniform )

Cucumba flexed his muscles and they creaked in response.

"Now, we continue, Karrde of Miscellanious."

The round goes to Cucumba

Need to work on it a bit Karrde

Karrde smiled, whiping the blood from his mouth. "Impressive. But such skills will only get you so far. You see, the situation is far worse than you could have expected. That's right. I've crossed to the dark side of the tights. The WWE cannot contain the raw power of the WCW unleashed!"

Cucumber stood his ground, fearlessly. "The WCW is long dead, they were all wiped out eons ago. The ratings speak for themself!"

Karrde laughed evilly. "So you'd think! We still have an illegal cable network in Omaha!" Karrde raised his hands to the sky. The ground trembled and shook. From deep below. First 4 poles, then ropes emerged, and finally the blue fold down cover. "Behold! The ring of DOOM!" Karrde ran past cuc with tremendous speed, pouring the whole of his strength into the ropes. As they stretched, poised to launch him forth, he raised his chair-saber in defiance. In an instant, Cucumber was on the floor, a disturbing face shaped dent the only evidence of the attack. "Fool!" Karrde walked over to taunt his fallen opponent (well isn't that the kind of thing you'd expect a bad guy to do?), but before his mouth even opened, Cucumber sprang to life, swiftly kicking his feet out from under him.

"HAAAA!!!" Cucumber brought his leg down hard, driving his heel into the raised chair. But the block would not hold. It buckled under the force of Cucumber's advanced technique, smashing into Karrde's solar plexis. But it would not hold him for long Fumbling around inside his jersey, Karrde quickly produced a small metallic object.

"Chef Salad Attack!" Karrde drove the knife into Cucumber's side, toppling the Tae Kwon Do master. Quickly getting to his feet, Karrde withdrew a small bottle of Italian Salad dressing (Vinnegar is acid, you know) and jammed it into the open wound, injecting his former boss with the tasty topping. "Dinner is served."

"Impressive, geriatric food product . . . I'm suprised your fighting skills are still sharp with your expiration date gone for so long."

"Are you done talking . . ."

A cellphone rings . . .

"Hold on," said Cucumba. "I'm handling a private message assault at the moment. No, you can't ban team memebers from #esf if they called you a *** . . . I see, but you have to calm down and loo . . "

Karrde slammed Cucumba in the face hard with a chair, while the admin looked in awe at the WCW ring that had so suddenly appeared. "Always delegating and litigating with that AUP of yours, this is your problem, stagnation. I asked the people of the community to destract you and they have! You have nothing, you're washed up, and I have the support of Eric Bischoff behind me!"

"It can't be . . . Nitro is dead!"

"Not so, admin, I have resurrected it with pirate cable!"

"You . . . you *******!" Cucumba renewed his attack with that battle cry. Throwing Karrde to the turnbuckle, Cucumba smiled as he looked to the Ref. The ghost of vt had appeared, getting the ref's attention by trying to climb into the ring with his axe. Cuc produced a set of brass knuckles and climbed the turnbuckle, raising his arms in triumph as an unseen crowd roared. They chanted the numbers with every hit, Karrde wavered and fell on the 10th (for it is law!).

"You want improvement, you want to see something new, I'll show you the future of AUP enforcement . . ."

Cuc pulled a remote out of his shorts as vt axed the Ref and the nWo cuc pack music played. He aimed the remote at a local garage that was, as the city, abandoned.

"You see, when your not the lead dog, the veiw never changes, and I am prepared to correct your lack of vision." With that, Robocuc burst from the garage door. Cucumba became gaseous and wafted into the cucanium law enforcement unit, asserting himself as the controlling program.

"Somewhere, there is spam happening, punk."

RoboCuc dragged Karrde to his feet and Karrde launched an offensive, kicking and punching to no avail.

Cuc simply tossed the offender into the steel gaurds at ringside.

RoboCuc moved menacingly closer with a mechanical hum.

Hmm. close very close
But Vt ghost > *

Winner is Cucumba

Cucumba exited the cucanium monstrosity and stared at Karrde.

"Such a waste to kill you . . . you have some promise yet. So I will cultivate this promise of yours, in the long run, you'll thank me."

With that Cuc rammed his fist into the ground and the earth split, revealing Newbie Central.

"SLEEP WELL IN HELL!"

Cucatoth tossed the vanquished to the lions.

(no loss of rep for you . . . this time ;/)

Hell should've been Models/Skins.