Cucumba lowered himself into a fighting stance. Using his chi techniques, Cucumba was able to kill the pain in his leg and stop it from shaking. Now it will work until it falls apart, he thought to himself.
Ice Man had prepared his katana for a new strike . . . it was time for him to act.
The two warriors clashed, the frigid killer jumped through the air, slicing his katana downward. The green machine quickly spun to the side, wind milling his arms to force the blade down. Ice planted his front foot down, stabilizing himself. Cuc launched a backhand strike at IM, but the cold warrior was prepared. IM moved his head back, just out of range of the pickled fist, and retaliated by flipping his Katana and slicing upward. Cucumba move out of the way just in time, feeling the displaced wind wash over his hand. Ice Man Flipped the katana again, and resumed his assault with three diagonal strikes. The great old one simply dodged each blow, placing his hands behind his back. The Green machine spun out of range and waved the challenger on with contempt on his face. Ice's face contorted in rage as he stabbed his Katana forward in a powerful thrust. The mighty admin rolled to the left, slapping the blades flat side to turn Ice Man's back towards him. Cucumba turned to elbow him at the base of the spine, however, Ice Man had already rolled forward. The challenger was rising to his feet as the mighty admin landed a step behind side kick to the center of his back. Ice Man's torso lurched forward and his limbs trailed behind as he soared through the air towards a package of ground meat. The cool one augured into the meat, digging a trench as he landed. The frosty wonder took time to pick ground chuck out of his nose and ears, shaking the meat out of his hair as well. "You'll pay for that you piece of hamburger garnish . . ."
Ice Man looked over for the admin, and to his horror, the spambane was already flying through the air . . . he had covered three quarters of the distance between them. The hombre del frio rolled back just as Cucumba was landing, slicing upward with his Katana. Cucumba knew it was a risky maneuver, and now he was going to pay for it. From Ice Man's perspective, he could see that the sword sliced Cucumba somewhere on the head. The autokinematic response is for the head to rock backwards, which it did. The ancient horror fell backwards, clutching his face, while Ice Man quickly returned to his feet and retaliated with another salvo of throwing knives. The sharpened and tempered blades found purchase in the Admin's abdomen, digging in deep. Cucumba hit the ground meat and laid still. Ice Man walked over to Cucumba and raised his katana high, grinning satisfactorily. He heard something that made him pause . . . it sounded like a heart beat. The daggers were being pushed out! With every beat of his heart, the dagger was pushed out a little farther until they had completely dislodged. The daggers fell on the floor, and the admin opened his remaining eye. At least I left him a scar to remember, thought Ice, not that he'll be remembering anything for long.
Ice man began his powerful overhead strike with his katana, which was more of a no-dachi really, and was stupefied when the mighty admin locked his knees with a simple scissors kick and knocked him over. Ice Man rolled off the side of the meat filled mound, and crunched onto the frost which covered the freezer at every corner. Ice man prepared some more throwing knives, waiting for the admin to peer over the edge. With his vision gone in one eye, the administrator would no longer be able to perceive depth. Thus, catching a small, rapid moving dagger would be nearly impossible.
It was quiet, too quiet. Ice Man knew that the green devil had something in store for him, something unpleasant. He continued to wait a little longer, then quickly surveyed the surrounding area. He saw something drop past his face and land at his feet. His gaze traveled down briefly, and he saw it was some brightly colored green fluid, it reminded him of anti-freeze.
. . . that's . . .
The Admin let go of the frost lined ceiling, and free fell towards his opponent.
. . . his blood . . . oh no . .
The icy challenger looked up to see the green devil's eyes, burning green in the darkness, and the violent glow of his now ignited ban saber. The no-dachi and the ban saber met and the sound was horrendous. The ban saber screeched in protest as the no dachi's metal groaned in protest. The blade began to heat, it's corporeal mass was second to the plasma based, TCP/IP protocol weapon. Ice Man watched in horror as his blade began to glow cherry red. The green devil smiled, and pressed harder. IM spun away, barely dodging the pickled one's attack as he broke off the lock up. The warriors were at neutral again, standing five feet apart, weapons at the ready.
"Ready to face your defeat," queried Ice. "I think your leg has seen better days, and that eye is looking a little garish."
"Worry about yourself . . . I am more than capable of continuing combat."
The clashed again, ban saber against no-dachi, and the sparks lit the dark freezer, showering the frozen food products in a fireworks show that would only be remembered by the victor. Cucumba spun into Ice Man's defenses with an aerial as Ice sliced low, attempting to cut the Adminâs legs out. Cucumba brought the saber down in a diagonal slice, which was rebuffed by a block from the no-dachi. Sparks soared every where, as Ice Man attempted to regain the offensive momentum. Ice flipped the no dachi edge up once again, and sliced diagonally upward, narrowly missing the admin, who stretched backwards. The cold one flipped his blade back edge down, hoping to capitalize, but he had to leap back to evade a ban saber strike aimed at his torso. They both struck again, blade and saber meeting in a shower of angry sparks. Ice Man launched a frustrated volley of no-dachi strikes. The admin escaped by doing a backwards round out followed by a series of backwards handsprings.
"Coward!"
"Don't confuse cowardice for tactically sound movement . . . you see, you never really had a chance, and it will be a long time before your bones knit enough to face another opponent."
"I'm hardly injured you old fool, look at you . . . you are hardly worth the praise and reputation your given. Your legend ends now!"
As Ice Man charged, Cucumba disengaged his ban saber. The Admin smiled as did Ice Man, both believing this fight was over. Ice Man attacked with ferocious force, leaping over the last few feet of CO² ice, the frost exploding into the air from the force of his leap, and parting underneath him. He unleashed his attack, a visible distortion of air surrounded his blade, and Cucumba stopped it with his forearm.
Ice Man's jaw dropped. The green machine had blocked the edge of the sword with his forearm, even the jacket was unharmed.
"HOW!?!"
Cucumba exhaled, allowing his chi to return to his body. "You see," said the green devil, "there are very few fighters here who can match my true power." The Adminâs wounds began to close. "And now you see the singular, horrible, undeniable truth. I am eternal, you are fleeting."
Cucumba leapt forward as Ice Man attempted to kick the admin with a crushing side kick. Cucumba rolled to a stop, and sprung back to his feet. IM attacked with a renewed vigor, knowing that the fight had suddenly taken several turns for the worse. He launched an opening left jab, which the admin dodged with a simple head tilt. Ice followed up with a right hook. The admin side stepped and tapped his elbow, sending the blow far off of it's intended trajectory. The challenger roared in frustration launching an uppercut, which the admin leaned back and to the left to avoid. Ice Man was good at fight positioning and knew that the admin had made a mistake; never take backwards movements while on the defensive. IM pushed his advantage, launching a flying front pump kick. Cucumba easily blocked the low pump, and stepped in.
Ice man had fallen for his trap.
The frigid warrior was chambering his second kick when the green machine grabbed his belt and trapped his leg under his armpit. Cucumba grinned, bearing his teeth, and spun Ice into a package of cool whip. Ice grunted in pain as he exhaled, the admin had hit his ribs against the edge of the container. His ribs were on fire, but he wasn't sure they were broken. Cuc attacked again, ramming his palm into the recently injured ribs, now Ice was sure that they were broken. The pickled lord of the moderators swung him around again, aggravating the wounded ribs, and flinging him across the room into a frozen pizza. Ice man left a crater in the pizza and fell limp, pepperoni falling all around him.
Cucumba walked forward casually and surveyed the damage with a smile. Ice Man was finished.
The frozen warrior knew he had little chance of winning now, but he had to try, he would not allow the admin to beat him woundless. He grabbed the edges of the frozen crater in the Tombstone pizza, and lurched forward with everything he had.
The six story pizza fell and Cucumba frowned as it crashed down on his head.
For the first time in the last few minutes, the Jolly Green Giant's freezer was quiet and dark . . .
. . . as it should be.