i challenge this guy!

New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
Messages
2,327
Best answers
0
... myself!! *points to himself in the mirror*
you want some... yeah i want some... *me punches mirror and it breaks and i win ^_^*

now for my next victim... i challenge you... the undefeated warrior... master of fight club... the elder one... cucumba :)
i know there's a very rare chance that i'll win but this battle will help me out in the long run. so put up the green light saber and face my 6 foot katana and throwing nives :cool:
 
The Duke of Juke
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 24, 2002
Messages
2,852
Best answers
0
Will the Mighty Vegetable be frost-burned by the Ice Man? Or will his bansaber keep him nice and toasty as he melts the Frozen Guy?

Two fighters meet in the middle of a gargantuan freezer. The Jolly Green Giant's freezer to be exact (No relation to Cucumba of course)

Fighters, go!!!
 
Live free or die by the sword
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Messages
7,416
Best answers
0
Location
North East Pennsylvania
The mighty admin strolled into the freezer, and looked in impassive neutrality around him. If he was impressed, it wasn't showing.

"Ice Man, you seem to be confident. Since you are so sure of yourself, I'll be frank. It's not too late to admit you made a mistake challenging me. I'll accept your surrender now. Failing that, I hope your loose ends are tied up, because I intend to injure you greatly."

The admin cracked his neck and waited for a responce.
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
Messages
2,327
Best answers
0
A low chuckle was heard coming from the corner of the rediciously huge corner.

"I never said that I was confident in beating you. But you're underestimating me old one. My skillz have grown since my previous battles. *Grabs a giant popcycle and starts eating it* But there's one thing that I havent done in Fight Club yet. And that's come face to face with the great one and his unusual bansaber. :devgrin:

i cant think right now.. im too stressed
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
Messages
2,327
Best answers
0
Hungry, the ice warrior bit into massive-sized frozen dinners that was about 10 times his size. Sounds of the vents pumping the freezer entered in and out of his ear.

"It's a shame a man so desperate the only thing he could eat is frozen food from a giant mad man's freezer. Is this what you call Ice-world?"

"You soon shall see! Now show yourself!"

Iceman grabbed the end of his katana getting ready to draw it. The admin walked out from behind the vanilla flavored ice cream box. The frost on the ground resembled as snow due to its size comparison to the two fighters.

"Cucumba, What a pleasure to meet you. Too bad the first time we see each other will be the last."

Sounds of two metals sliding together was heard as Ice Man drew his sword. He charged at Cucumba with his arms by his side. Ice Man foot prints was left in the frost with every step he took. Iceman took a swing in an upward position but the admin moved out the way and the blade went slicing through the ice cream box. Cucumba does a vertical leap and nails a spin kick to the ungaurded ice man that sends him into the turkey the giant had saved for thanksgiving.

Iceman got back up to his feet and smiled. His upper back and lower neck was bruised and hurt him badly but his emotions didn't show it. The admin took out his famous saber and spread his feet shoulder length apart.

"Nice kick but you're going to have to do better then that."

"You're waisting my time... show me what you got!"

"So be it"

Iceman dropped down in his dragon stance. The ice warrior dashes towards Cucumba with confidence in his eyes as he began to get closer. He lands a horizontal kick that catches the admin for a split second. Iceman tries to slice the admin with an overhand swing with his katana but is blocked by cucumba's saber. "Pathetic" was the word that entered out of cucumba's mouth as he laughed. Cucumba lands a thunderous right hand to icemans face knocking two of his side teeth out. The admin tries to slice Iceman's head off with a swing from the saber but Iceman ducks and Cucumba slices through a pack of sausages. When he turned around, Iceman cought him with a spin kick to the right side of his face and the admin does a 180 on his way to the ground.

Cucumba got up and looks at his imprint he left in the ground. Iceman jumps on top of a box of meat patties and waved the admin on. Cucumba began walking towards the frozen one. When Cucumba got close to the box, Ice Man turned over a tray of ice cubes that went tumbling down towards the admin. Cucumba couldnt react in time to dodge the fatal attack so he went ahead and took the damage he was about to recieve. The cubes lands on the admin possibally shattering his bones.

Cucumba rose up and dusts himself off from the tiny chunks of ice. His left arm and shoulder was broken. The last ice cube falls and Cucumba slices it in two with his saber. When the admin looked up, he saw that Iceman had left the scene. Cucumba began walking backwards slowly and looks in all directions for the ice machine. Iceman jumps off the frozen pack of steaks that was behind cucumba looking to land a blow to the admins head-finishing him for good...
~~~~~~~
edited it some
 
Live free or die by the sword
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Messages
7,416
Best answers
0
Location
North East Pennsylvania
"I underestimate nothing . . . ," said the admin in an even tone.

"Is that so," retorted Ice Man. "What about your scrap with Engar, I heard that one came close to dethroning you."

"As if you belong in his class . . . . enough talk. DEFEND YOURSELF!"

Cucumba charged through the carbon dioxide ice layered on the freezers floor, the terrain crunching as the ancient horror advanced. Ice Man continued to eat his ice pop, preparing for the perfect moment to counter with the absurdly long confection. Sadly that moment would never come. Cucumba sliced through a bag of frozen chick peas. He lept up, kicking the basketball sized pea across the freezer like a rocket, nailing the ice pop. Ice Man dropped the pop and checked his teeth, despite the force of the impact, they had all survived.

"You son of a . . . ," Ice Man stammered out.

"Fight me seriously, or run into my saber and free up more time for me to fight worthy opponents."

"Heh. You want serious, I'll show you what I've got."

Ice Man charged in, then abrubtly dived into a roll firing off several throwing knives. Cucumba half heartedly slashed them out of the air with his ban saber. Ice Man went to a giant pack of klondike bars, and waited for the admin to come. The green machine walked forward, with a menacing gait that suggested nothing but business. As he approached the pack of ice cream snacks, he watched Ice Man hop up onto the top. The admin knew it was a trap, but prepared himself. Cucumba ran up the wall, made up of the treat's side, and spun off with a simple kick. He spun through the air and watched as Ice Man attempted to ram him with a frozen mozzerella stick. Fortunately for the admin, he was already far away from where he was expected to appear, and retaliated by slicing the breaded milk product in half.

Ice Man who had been leaning back to support it's weight fell backwards, cracking his head on the ice cream bars. The remainders of the cheese stick fell to the side. Cucumba softly floated to the ground. The green machine put his ban saber away, and kicked the prone Ice Man up in the air like a hakeysack. Ice Man couldn't beleive the force of the kick, and held his stomache in pain. The ancient horror wound up, and kicked him with a spinning jumping back kick before the challenger hit the ground.

Ice Man slammed into the freezer door, coming to rest on a box of waffles. He desperately faught for breath, knowing that this was far from a good situation.

Cucumba hopped on the box, and to his suprise, Ice Man had moved. The bane of spam heard the katana cutting the air too late, and suffered a large slash to his leg. The admin rolled away as fast as he could and found standing quite uncomfortable. This was a bad thing.

Ice Man spit blood onto the picture of the kindly old black lady adorning the box. "I hope for your sake you watch me a little more carefully from now on."

"I intend to do nothing less." Cucumba held his stance by will alone . . . and worried about his leg lasting the fight.
 
The Duke of Juke
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 24, 2002
Messages
2,852
Best answers
0
Nice fight both of you guys. You both used the venue excellently.

Ice Man, you certainly have improved since your fight with me, and it shows. But it unfortunately wasn't enough to take the first round.

Cucumba wins first round.
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
Messages
2,327
Best answers
0
Iceman looks at the green machine and says

"Feel the pain oh great one? Pretty soon it will consume your whole body! And thats when I will go in for the kill."

"This pain is like a bee sting to me. It's you who will screaming for mercy."

"Oh really? Then why is it shaking at a hundred miles an hour?"

"As I said. Its like a bee sting, you feel the pain for a short period of time. But eventually it goes away."

Cucumba drops down in a crane stance and waves the experimented human on. Iceman felt that the admin was trying to intimidate him so he dropped in his dragon stance yet again. The ice machine pulled his katana in position and charged at the elder one. All his might went in sort of a golf sing comming at Cucumba fast. In a violent attempt to stop the attack, Cucumba went down with an overhand swing to block it. A loud sound that resembled a sonic boom was heard inside the freezer when the two weapons connected. The frost on the top and sides of the freezer fell and covered the two fighters.

Iceman was the first to his feet and was shortly followed by cucumba. Feeling around in the snow/frost, the ice one tries to find his katana. After minutes of searching, he pulled up on his handle and saw that it was broken from the last attack. "Son of a mmm...!!!" Furious as he was, Iceman knew that he couldnt beat the admin without a weapon. Iceman ran in the open bag of french fries and pulled some out. Grunts was heard as he threw the first fry at cucumba that lands right beside him. "Tell you what Iceman. I'll make it fair. I'll put away my saber." A cruel look filled Iceman eyes as he charged at the admin yet again. Just before the ice one reached him, Cucumba's leg collapse. The admin fell to one knee and catches a foot in the mouth by Iceman. Knowing this was his chance, Iceman grabs cucumba's saber from his side.

"Get up old man!" Slowly but angry, the admin got up and stared Iceman in the eyes. "Give it back... and I wont kill you" Cucumba said in a deep serious voice. A smirk on his face, Iceman swings to cucumba face. Fast as the swing was, it did no damage as the admin blocked it with his indexed finger. There was a cold an evil stare in the eyes of the elder one as he kicked the unbalanced iceman in the gut and followed up with a series of punches to his face. "Crack!" The admin finished it off with a kick to Iceman's nose and a punch to his chest that sends the ice one head first into a box of hot pockets.

"Did anyone get the number on that truck" said iceman as he rose up in a sitting position. Frost was crunching under the admins feet as he walked the trail that was left from the hit he put on Iceman.

"Quit while you can young warrior or die if you continue."

"No. You interupted my meal... you broke my nose... and you expect me to quit!!"

Cucumba felt his body getting heavier under the force of Iceman's anger. Shock was in the eyes of the admin for the first time as he witnessed what he was seeing. Iceman eyes locked on to cucumba's as his anger was still rising. Cucumba throws the saber as it flies in a horizontal position towards iceman's face. Just before the saber was to connect to the ice one's face, Iceman deflected it out the way with the back of his forearm. A bag of french toast sticks fell-and when it landed, iceman dashed towards cucumba like a rocket. He throws a punch towards cucumba but connects with a quart of yogurt. They both start throwing a series of combo's, but at the same time, blocking each others attacks. Iceman picks up a french fry and comes across the admins jaw with it. Iceman kicks the unguarded admin in the face that sends him into box of popcycles.

The vibration of the hit caused the pack of hot dogs that was on top of it to fall and is about to crush cucumba...
 
Live free or die by the sword
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Messages
7,416
Best answers
0
Location
North East Pennsylvania
Cucumba lowered himself into a fighting stance. Using his chi techniques, Cucumba was able to kill the pain in his leg and stop it from shaking. Now it will work until it falls apart, he thought to himself.

Ice Man had prepared his katana for a new strike . . . it was time for him to act.

The two warriors clashed, the frigid killer jumped through the air, slicing his katana downward. The green machine quickly spun to the side, wind milling his arms to force the blade down. Ice planted his front foot down, stabilizing himself. Cuc launched a backhand strike at IM, but the cold warrior was prepared. IM moved his head back, just out of range of the pickled fist, and retaliated by flipping his Katana and slicing upward. Cucumba move out of the way just in time, feeling the displaced wind wash over his hand. Ice Man Flipped the katana again, and resumed his assault with three diagonal strikes. The great old one simply dodged each blow, placing his hands behind his back. The Green machine spun out of range and waved the challenger on with contempt on his face. Ice's face contorted in rage as he stabbed his Katana forward in a powerful thrust. The mighty admin rolled to the left, slapping the blades flat side to turn Ice Man's back towards him. Cucumba turned to elbow him at the base of the spine, however, Ice Man had already rolled forward. The challenger was rising to his feet as the mighty admin landed a step behind side kick to the center of his back. Ice Man's torso lurched forward and his limbs trailed behind as he soared through the air towards a package of ground meat. The cool one augured into the meat, digging a trench as he landed. The frosty wonder took time to pick ground chuck out of his nose and ears, shaking the meat out of his hair as well. "You'll pay for that you piece of hamburger garnish . . ."

Ice Man looked over for the admin, and to his horror, the spambane was already flying through the air . . . he had covered three quarters of the distance between them. The hombre del frio rolled back just as Cucumba was landing, slicing upward with his Katana. Cucumba knew it was a risky maneuver, and now he was going to pay for it. From Ice Man's perspective, he could see that the sword sliced Cucumba somewhere on the head. The autokinematic response is for the head to rock backwards, which it did. The ancient horror fell backwards, clutching his face, while Ice Man quickly returned to his feet and retaliated with another salvo of throwing knives. The sharpened and tempered blades found purchase in the Admin's abdomen, digging in deep. Cucumba hit the ground meat and laid still. Ice Man walked over to Cucumba and raised his katana high, grinning satisfactorily. He heard something that made him pause . . . it sounded like a heart beat. The daggers were being pushed out! With every beat of his heart, the dagger was pushed out a little farther until they had completely dislodged. The daggers fell on the floor, and the admin opened his remaining eye. At least I left him a scar to remember, thought Ice, not that he'll be remembering anything for long.

Ice man began his powerful overhead strike with his katana, which was more of a no-dachi really, and was stupefied when the mighty admin locked his knees with a simple scissors kick and knocked him over. Ice Man rolled off the side of the meat filled mound, and crunched onto the frost which covered the freezer at every corner. Ice man prepared some more throwing knives, waiting for the admin to peer over the edge. With his vision gone in one eye, the administrator would no longer be able to perceive depth. Thus, catching a small, rapid moving dagger would be nearly impossible.

It was quiet, too quiet. Ice Man knew that the green devil had something in store for him, something unpleasant. He continued to wait a little longer, then quickly surveyed the surrounding area. He saw something drop past his face and land at his feet. His gaze traveled down briefly, and he saw it was some brightly colored green fluid, it reminded him of anti-freeze.

. . . that's . . .

The Admin let go of the frost lined ceiling, and free fell towards his opponent.

. . . his blood . . . oh no . .

The icy challenger looked up to see the green devil's eyes, burning green in the darkness, and the violent glow of his now ignited ban saber. The no-dachi and the ban saber met and the sound was horrendous. The ban saber screeched in protest as the no dachi's metal groaned in protest. The blade began to heat, it's corporeal mass was second to the plasma based, TCP/IP protocol weapon. Ice Man watched in horror as his blade began to glow cherry red. The green devil smiled, and pressed harder. IM spun away, barely dodging the pickled one's attack as he broke off the lock up. The warriors were at neutral again, standing five feet apart, weapons at the ready.

"Ready to face your defeat," queried Ice. "I think your leg has seen better days, and that eye is looking a little garish."

"Worry about yourself . . . I am more than capable of continuing combat."

The clashed again, ban saber against no-dachi, and the sparks lit the dark freezer, showering the frozen food products in a fireworks show that would only be remembered by the victor. Cucumba spun into Ice Man's defenses with an aerial as Ice sliced low, attempting to cut the Admin’s legs out. Cucumba brought the saber down in a diagonal slice, which was rebuffed by a block from the no-dachi. Sparks soared every where, as Ice Man attempted to regain the offensive momentum. Ice flipped the no dachi edge up once again, and sliced diagonally upward, narrowly missing the admin, who stretched backwards. The cold one flipped his blade back edge down, hoping to capitalize, but he had to leap back to evade a ban saber strike aimed at his torso. They both struck again, blade and saber meeting in a shower of angry sparks. Ice Man launched a frustrated volley of no-dachi strikes. The admin escaped by doing a backwards round out followed by a series of backwards handsprings.

"Coward!"

"Don't confuse cowardice for tactically sound movement . . . you see, you never really had a chance, and it will be a long time before your bones knit enough to face another opponent."

"I'm hardly injured you old fool, look at you . . . you are hardly worth the praise and reputation your given. Your legend ends now!"

As Ice Man charged, Cucumba disengaged his ban saber. The Admin smiled as did Ice Man, both believing this fight was over. Ice Man attacked with ferocious force, leaping over the last few feet of CO² ice, the frost exploding into the air from the force of his leap, and parting underneath him. He unleashed his attack, a visible distortion of air surrounded his blade, and Cucumba stopped it with his forearm.

Ice Man's jaw dropped. The green machine had blocked the edge of the sword with his forearm, even the jacket was unharmed.

"HOW!?!"

Cucumba exhaled, allowing his chi to return to his body. "You see," said the green devil, "there are very few fighters here who can match my true power." The Admin’s wounds began to close. "And now you see the singular, horrible, undeniable truth. I am eternal, you are fleeting."

Cucumba leapt forward as Ice Man attempted to kick the admin with a crushing side kick. Cucumba rolled to a stop, and sprung back to his feet. IM attacked with a renewed vigor, knowing that the fight had suddenly taken several turns for the worse. He launched an opening left jab, which the admin dodged with a simple head tilt. Ice followed up with a right hook. The admin side stepped and tapped his elbow, sending the blow far off of it's intended trajectory. The challenger roared in frustration launching an uppercut, which the admin leaned back and to the left to avoid. Ice Man was good at fight positioning and knew that the admin had made a mistake; never take backwards movements while on the defensive. IM pushed his advantage, launching a flying front pump kick. Cucumba easily blocked the low pump, and stepped in.

Ice man had fallen for his trap.

The frigid warrior was chambering his second kick when the green machine grabbed his belt and trapped his leg under his armpit. Cucumba grinned, bearing his teeth, and spun Ice into a package of cool whip. Ice grunted in pain as he exhaled, the admin had hit his ribs against the edge of the container. His ribs were on fire, but he wasn't sure they were broken. Cuc attacked again, ramming his palm into the recently injured ribs, now Ice was sure that they were broken. The pickled lord of the moderators swung him around again, aggravating the wounded ribs, and flinging him across the room into a frozen pizza. Ice man left a crater in the pizza and fell limp, pepperoni falling all around him.

Cucumba walked forward casually and surveyed the damage with a smile. Ice Man was finished.

The frozen warrior knew he had little chance of winning now, but he had to try, he would not allow the admin to beat him woundless. He grabbed the edges of the frozen crater in the Tombstone pizza, and lurched forward with everything he had.

The six story pizza fell and Cucumba frowned as it crashed down on his head.

For the first time in the last few minutes, the Jolly Green Giant's freezer was quiet and dark . . .

. . . as it should be.
 
The Duke of Juke
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 24, 2002
Messages
2,852
Best answers
0
Nice fight. Again I say, you have most certainly improved el hombre de frio. You're getting good at English.

But, I had a lot more fun with Cucumba's post, he went much deeper into description. It did feel tedious a couple of times, but lack of repeated words made up for that.

Cucumba wins second round
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
Messages
2,327
Best answers
0
nice fight cucumba... now i know that im still no-where near your skillz. hope we meet again later on and maybe i will win a round next time ;)
 
Live free or die by the sword
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Messages
7,416
Best answers
0
Location
North East Pennsylvania
The pizza erupted in the center, and the admin stood to his full height, pulling the broken ice man in the air with one massive arm.

"Ingenious attack, too bad it will be your last in this lifetime."

Cucumba tossed the Icy one on his back, rack style, and pushed his hip forwars while twisting his torso with the push, sending Ice Man through the air in a spin. The unconcious challenger looked like a rag doll. Cucumba continued to hold his head, and stepped forward. He yanked the unconcious warrior forward and slammed him down on his knee, shattering his hip and spine.

Cucumba smiled, and watched the helpless Ice Man flail his upper body in pain. Cucumba lifted him by his wrist and ankle, smiling savagely.

The admin groaned with exertion, and his muscles began to creak with effort as Ice Man was torn in two. Both halves flew up in the air, spraying blood and viscera everywhere.

The ancient one smiled at his handywork and left the Green Giant's freezer. He had no desire to fight him . . . yet.

------------------------------------------------------

Don't take the fatality personally :p

/me continues trend of not taking rep points from good fighters.
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
Messages
2,327
Best answers
0
aha! i got something...

10 years later...
A science team found the two halfes of iceman. Some parts were un-usable due to cucumba's fatality. After tests and experiments, they finally found a way to save the Icy one. His whole left arm, pectoral, and his whole abdominal section covered in bionic parts. His soul purpose now... to kill cucumba :devgrin:

dunno... i should make a story of that :laff:

now your what 7-0 cucumba.. wow... i bet you can write a whole book of battles =p
 
Live free or die by the sword
Retired Forum Staff
✔️ HL Verified
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Dec 1, 2001
Messages
7,416
Best answers
0
Location
North East Pennsylvania
You were number 8 my freind, and I doubt you'll grace the list just one time. Look at Deverz, he's 2, 3, and 4.
 
New Member
💻 Oldtimer
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
Messages
2,327
Best answers
0
rofl... but i wotn fight you again till im sure ill beat you, or at least stand a chance. ^_^
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom