Cucumba I challenge you!!

Heh this im starting to hang around the forums again, so I thought a little challenge would be good. You up for it, green man?

You think you can succeed where so many others, so many former fan fic allies of ours, have failed?

I long to test your combat ability. Come, let us see what mettle you have!

I will ref this bout! The venue will be a fancy expensive Italian restaurant. It's not too busy, but some people ARE trying to enjoy a meal. Lots of china and crystal, 13 different types of forks, you get the idea!

Regular rules, best of 3, FIGHT!

Cucumba was never one to hate humanity completely. His love of italian food was great, almost as much as his love for the thrill of combat. Little could he know, both of these passions would mingle this day . . .

The green one was wearing a finely taylored Armani, and enjoying red wine with an equisite eggplant parmesan with his lovely wife when Vegetto found him.

Cucumba set aside his wine, and wiped his mouth with a napkin, "Ahh, I'm glad you found me, you save me the trouble of hunting you down. After all, I am the center of the story now, you are just a convenient waste of time while the plot develops. You see, you come here to your death. Fret not, I will spill your blood painlessly if you fight well by your standards. Excuse me my dear, I have buisness to attend to."

Mephit74 set her food aside and moved away fromt he table where her ancient horror husband sat, looking menacingly at Vegetto.

(Sorry, I don't feel the need to talk smack anyway )

I hope you enjoyed that meal pickle boy, because it will be visiting you real soon. It'll go nice with dessert, my foot up that pickly ass.

(I don't like smack talk so im just gonna say that )

*poke*

Notice how my post had no fighting? You're supposed to write a smack talk round first.

Vegetto smurked smugly, "Hope you enjoyed your meal, because their won't be any seconds." Vegetto extends his hand waveing for the Green Machine to come at him. As Cucumba runs forward, Vegetto braces for the heavy blow; as Cucumba comes at him he suddenly vanish's, and re-appear's above Vegetto's head and drops his foot down. Vegetto had no time to block as the kick railed the top of his head sending him plowing straight into the ground.

While Vegetto's face was firmly planted into the floor, Cucumba advanced to make the second strike. As his fist was about to make contact into Vegetto's back, a wine bottle cracked over his head.

The enraged pickle let out a roar, "Who dare smacketh the pickle's head?!?!" The distraction was all that Vegetto needed as he plowed his head into the pickle's gut, sending him into a booth, as old Italian plates fall and break on his head.

Once again Vegetto extended his hand mocking Cucumba to attack him, "If that caught you off guard, your going to have some problems." Cucumba stood up, dusted himself off and started a second charge...

"How coarse . . . inelegant and crude, probably much the same as your combat prowess," retorted the administrator. "No matter, I shall teach you the meaning of manners and respect, you base thug."

Vegetto just smirked and ****ed his head, gesturing Cucumba on with his hand.

Cucumba smiled in return, and walked casually around the table towards him with supreme arrogance in his gait. The challenger watched with annoyance as the green one's gaurd was completely dropped for this insulting, leisurely walk. Vegetto looked for the opening and struck. Charging in with a zanzoken technique, Vegetto struck at the back of the green machine's head. Cucumba simply moved his head out of the way, and let Vegetto's momentum and commitment to movement carry him into a simple hip toss. The mighty admin moved his arm around Vegetto's shoulder, and applied pressure to the challenger's center of gravity. Vegetto felt his weight shifting and dived with it coming to his feet with no harm before a table full of frightened patrons. He looked behind his shoulder, no longer grinning and zanzokened back into the fight. Vegetto launched a side kick aimed at the heart of the green devil. The ancient horror side stepped the blow to the inside, and caught the challenger's leg under his arm. Vegetto countered with an enziguiri kick to the head by rotating his hip and bringing the other leg to bear. Cucumba ducked low, bringing his captured leg with him. Vegetto's arm clipped the floor, and the attack was stopped cold and to his unpleasant suprise, he was face first on the floor. Knowing full well that this was a bad position, Vegetto kicked at the hand grasping his ankle. Cucumba let go and stood, falling back to a defensive position with a smile. Vegetto spun his legs counter clockwise to his body and launched himself to a standing position.

Much to his annoyance, Cucumba was eating again.

"Eh . . . what the hell, we're fighting here," stammered Vegetto in suprise.

"No, you're fighting. I'm becoming bored, come back when you turn your talent and potential into skill."

Vegetto dived at Cucumba over the table, and punched the wall as the master of the sunken city dodged out of his seat. Cucumba retaliated with a smile and a devistating kick to Vegetto's stomache. Vegetto's eyes bulged from the force of the blow as he rose in the air. Cucumba plowed into the airborn opponent with a roundhouse kick to the head, sending the unfortunate challenger into and through a beautifully sculpted collumn.

Vegetto wiped the plaster dust and debris from his shirt and face, and slowly stood.

Cucumba was lauging with his wife, drinking his wine as he ordered a slice of pie. He was apologizing for the inconvenience.

The challenger shook in silent rage as he kicked a piece of rubble up in the air and hit it with a spinning roundhouse. The chunk flew at the dining admin. Cucumba leaned back to avoid it, and blocked and grabbed an incoming punch from Vegetto, who had sought to use the plaster chunk as a distraction. Cucumba reached forward with a free hand and grabbed his wine. Vegetto reached forward with his free hand to knock the glass out of the Jade Behemoth's hand and into his lap. With one smooth movement, Cucumba tossed the glass over his grasping hand and caught it on the other side. Vegetto reached again, Cucumba simply pinned Vegetto's hand with the stemware and released the other hand. The challenger reached once more with his newly freed hand, only to be blocked by a bread bowl. The force of the blow had knocked a bun right onto Cucumba's sauce stained plate.

"Thank you," said the admin.

Vegetto noticed his hand was freed of the stemware, and lunged with both hands. Cucumba made a circular motion with his hands, capturing his opponent and pinning him to the table. He took a sip of his wine, stopping a moment to appreciate it's aroma. Vegetto roared in protest as Cuc gently placed the wine down and ate some of the bread.

Vegetto could take no more of this insult.

His leg sprang from behind him, kicking the green devil in the face. Cucumba reeled and recovered just in time to see the jumping spinning hook kick plow him through the wall into the kitchen.

Mephit74 looked at Vegetto with annoyance. Vegetto smiled and blew a kiss, then swatted the blowing hand on his rear, mocking the ancient horror's wife.

Cucumba tore through the wall with tremendous force, blasting through the table and ramming into Vegetto fist first. Vegetto soared through the air and watched the pickled one zanzoken. He felt the terrible blow to his back as his momentum was changed skyward. Vegetto blasted through the roof and into the air above the resturaunt, only to be slammed back down into the building.

He lay in a crater in the hardwood floor, willing his hurt body to it's feet.

Cucumba walked in through the front door, his footfalls like the processional at a funeral. The green one cracked his neck and fixed his tie. Near the back, Mephit74 stood and walked away from the ruined table. He spoke as he gently dusted the debris from his suit, "Get up."

It's about time you guys wrote!

Well Vegetto, I had some trouble reading your attack because you have a lot of verb-tense confusion. Either try to stay in past or present, don't write in both. You also lacked a lot of details.

If you read Cuc's attack, he never skips a single detail, his was a lot more exciting to read. Round one goes to Cuc.

I also loved Cuc's smack talk

OOC: I haven't writen anything in a while, and I know Cucumba has skill, this is just a test to get me back up to par. Great round Cucumba ^^ Well, let me try this in round 2. I also didn't know we were doing DBZ style fighting ^^;
_____________

Standing up, Vegetto coughed the dust out of his lungs. Quickly patted down his clothes, and raised his eye's level to Cucumba's.

"Play time is over..." Vegetto instantly disappeared and reappeared behind the Green Titan, roundhouseing and sending Cuc hurling towards the kitchen; but before he even came within a yard of the door, the Pickle had regained his balance and was on his feet again. Only to find Veg above him, Cucumba high guarded and using his Ki, sent Vegetto into the buffet table.

Cleaning spaghetti from his pants, Vegetto looked around, both angered and disgusted at the feeling running down his spine. The last blow could have actually killed him if he didn't guard at the last second. Looking up at Cucumba he knew this was no longer child's play. Taking the final meatball out of his shirt he zanozukened by Cuc's feet, rotated and tried to knock the Pickle off guard, only to receive a foot to his head.

"Once again, you fail to amuse me." Picking up the wine and taking another sip, Cucumba laughed, only to fuel Vegetto's anger more.

"How dare you..." Vegetto mumbled, "Speak up, before I plant your face into the concrete outside" Cucumba yelled out.

"How dare you mock me, you giant pickle!!" Diveing straight forward to spearhead Cucumba, and by luck or skill catching him offguard, railed Cucumba in the ribcage sending him into a wall, as the plaster slowly fell unto the ground.

"Don't...you dare...underestimate me.." Vegetto panting stood up took a stance and regained confidence, was ready to finish the fight.

The patrons were murmuring amongst themselves, wondering what to do about this battle that had erupted in the middle of the normally upscale Fenucci's. The formally attired Administrator straightened himself out, and looked at the crowd. "I'm deeply sorry for the inconvenience. Please, enjoy your meals."

The ancient horror motioned for everyone to sit. Mesmerized by the display of might, most people did sit.

Cucumba leaned over and hoisted the dazed challenger to his feet, he even wiped the debris from Vegetto's shirt. The green devil held him up untill he could stand on his own, then took a few steps away. After turning his back, and clasping his hands behind him, the pickled one spoke, "Ready to continue . . ?"

Vegetto launched himself at the mighty administrator once again, the insults were to great to allow to pass unpunished. His knee was thrust forward, aiming for the green machine's back. Cucumba quickly spun, and swept his arm out to block the offending limb. Cucumba stepped into the challenger, putting his foot underneath Vegetto's center of gravity. Vegetto responded by leaping into another spinning, jumping hook kick. The jade behemoth blocked the kick with his right hand, placing it in the crook of Vegetto's knee to stop the momentum as well as force the chambering of the kick to happen early. Again, Cucumba stepped into Vegetto's center of gravity. Vegetto attempted to counter with a left hook, narrowly missing the admin. Cucumba reached in to scoop Vegetto's standing leg, but the challenger saw his opportunity, and punched the admin in the back. Cucumba's back recoiled from the blow as Vegetto dashed into Cucumba's center, elbow outstreched. Cucumba lurched forward from the impact. The challenger knew that momentum would be key, and without delay he struck with a round house kick to the pickled one's head. Cucumba spun through the air as Vegetto hurled himself skyward with a zanzoken. Cucumba was just about to right himself when he felt an explosion of physical contact on his sternum. The mighty adminsitrator collided with the ground, sending the planks up in the air in a rippling pattern.

The crowd began to murmur again, and they all began to look for the nearest exit.

Vegetto hopped off Cucumba's chest and smiled. It was time to finish this battle.

Cucumba exploded into action, kicking out Vegetto's legs while spinning his legs to let the momentum carry him up to a standing position. The mighty admin caught the falling competitor by the throat and growled in his face. Before Vegetto thought ot react, the administrator hurled him through the air into the carving station. The carving station exploded from the force of the impact. Hot oils and juices from the roast covered Vegetto, burning him while he howled in agony. Cucumba grabbed the fleeing pianist and spoke in an quiet tone, "Maestro, somethign upbeat and lively please."

Vegetto was climbing to his feet when the adminsitrator walked casually up to him. Vegetto launched an attack, leaning into his hook punch. Cucumba spun with the punch, wasting it's impact potential and came around with his leg in a hooking kick. The kick collided with Vegetto's skull. Vegetto spun in place, then stumbled backwards over the debris of the carving station. The green devil reached forward, and grabbed Vegetto once again by his neck. The admin lifted him in the air, holding him in a military press.

The piano began to play.

Cucumba spun and dropped the challenger onto his shoulder, injuring Vegetto's abdomen. Then he sprung forward, slamming Vegetto's back into the ground. Vegetto poped up from the force of the blow, and managed to get his feet underneath him.

The administrator looked at the wobbling competetion, and leaned down to grab a small piece of plaster debris. He regarded Vegetto again, tossing the small piece of wall material in his hand.

"I was going to destroy you for your insolence, but I believe you'll be a worthy fight one day. Therefore, I'll save you, and your eulogy, for later."

Cucumba tossed the small bit of plaster in his hand once more, then pinched it with his thumb and pointer finger. The admin smiled, and snapped his fingers.

The plaster bit fired like a bullet, exploding on Vegetto's head, and sending him flying facefirst into a tray of lasagne. Bits of the baked dish flew through the air and landed on Mephit74.

The gothly attired woman looked at her dress, then stared at the fallen competitor . . . annoyed once again.

Well, after reading your two battles twice... I have to come to a decision...

The winner of round 2 is... the mighty Cucumba... I was able to get into his attack much better. I loved how he interacted with the setting, with the guests dining etc... I love his itty-bitty details, thats why this one also goes to Cuc... The ball is in your court now Cuc, do what you will.

2 rounds, Cuc squashed the pimp - so the public can post here now (since this battle is over). And just to double check, I've confirmed this from another judge as well (whether it's ok for me to post here now).

My comments? That was the most pathetic effort I have ever seen in the Fight Club... Yea, I'm talking about Vegetto. You should be smart enough to polish your writing skills before even thinking of going against Cucumba. Puny weakling with a Dragonball Z character for a name... take this defeat like a man and make sure you think twice before challenging the G3 again.

(*G3 = Great Green Guy)

Uh groovy wtf with the dis, I wasnt here for a win, and I noted that I haven't written in a while, I just wanted to see how I compared against the best so please stfu I don't need your insults.

Vegetto said:

Uh groovy wtf with the dis, I wasnt here for a win, and I noted that I haven't written in a while, I just wanted to see how I compared against the best so please stfu I don't need your insults.

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Don't get offended by the above post, take your defeat like a man. -_-

The fight club is all about venting frustration through words and having a good time with 'written wars'. And the public is allowed to post comments in a fight-club match after it is over. I double checked with multiple fight-club judges before making my post. So don't ask me to 'stfu', and stand strong as a defeated victim of the fight-club. Not all talky-talk once we've lost, eh?

Vegetto said:

I wasnt here for a win

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/me reads above attemps, true true

You have no need to flame me, I am taking my lose but you don't need to rub it in since it wasn't YOUR win

Not to offend or anything, but are you drunk gr00vy? Even i took that offensively and it wasnt even about me.

*Sigh*. . . whatever. Guess you guys don't know much about the very reason why the Fight Club was made. My apologies if the above posts offended you.

Let's bring this back to topic now (about the match, and not about my post).

Your right WE DON'T really know why Fight club was made. Or at least we don't know your reasons for it being made. ;(


*on-topic- Vegetto, you need to look over your opponent's past fights to see what your up against. And take note about who your fighting especially after the first round. Fool me once... shame on you, Fool me twice... shame on me

Easy everyone. Part of fight club is that AFTER the match, the public can put their opinions on the battle. It's like a fight in real life, people ALWAYS shout down the loser, even when they didn't even effect the outcome of the fight.