SM, j00 and meh, it is time.

Ok SM...

Suicidal Maniac said:

* [SF]suicidal_maniac pwns OptimusPrime

Click to expand...

You crossed the line, so let's go, or are you a lil bish?

Shouldnt be to hard to beat someone who cant quote me right

I judge this round!
no soup for you!

The venue is an the evil ice cream van assembly line, run by oomploompas.
Begin smack talk!

Ok bish, I hope j00 prepared for your funeral, cause I didn't put down the deposit for nothing. I swear to god... /me passes wind, excuse me. As I was saying.... prepare to meet your cat I ran over this morning...

Erm... hah... well i.... did your mom last night. So fear me.
/me unrolls tongue

Oh no, no you didn't /me snaps fingers in air.
I'ma take you DOWNTOWN sistah, prepare for dewm!

Prime looked down at the postcard one more time making sure he wasn’t imagining this. “Nope,” he said to himself “it definitely says ‘You have won a free boat.’” Scanning the address one more time, he pressed the On* button on his brand new Cadillac Escalade and heard the familiar “On*, how may I help you Batm… Optimus Prime?”

“Yea, hi,” said Prime “How do I get to 666 Certain Doom St?”

“Just take your next left sir, and then right at the second light and you can’t miss it.”

“Haha,” Prime chuckled, “I can’t believe I won a free boat.”

As Prime slowly drove up to the unmarked factory, he thought to himself “Well, this must be it.” He pulled into the entrance and parked across three handicapped spaces. He cautiously got out of the car and headed towards the entrance with a fake limp.

He entered the factory, and approached the secretary at the front desk who was eagerly filing her nails while sucking away at a lollypop. “Uhh yea… I’m here about the boat?” he said anxiously. “Third door on the left,” she mumbled incoherently through the sucker. “Thanks, and don’t quit your day job,” he whispered sarcastically. “I heard that punk,” the secretary yelled. “Ya ya ya,” Prime thought to himself, he just wanted to get his boat.

He walked down the hall and entered the third room. Prime walked in and looked around at an enormous room filled with conveyor belts, large vats marked with poison symbols, sheet metal, and to his disbelief… “Oompaloompas?” he said. “I thought they were extinct.”

“On the contrary,” came a voice from within, “Oompaloompas are far from extinct, and the best part is, they’ll work for Band-Aids!” the mysterious man laughed. “Oh, how rude of me,” said the man, “you can call me SM,” as he emerged from the shadows to reveal himself.

“Mm hm, so anyways,” said Prime angrily, “Where’s my god damn boat?

“Oh yes, where are my manners, your boat…” said SM “is right HERE!” he screamed as he quickly pulled out a knife and threw it towards Prime. Shocked, Prime turned his head just in time to see his reflection on the blade is it whizzed past his head and stuck into the wall behind him. “You’re in my world now Prime!” SM yelled as he turned and ran deep into the factory.

Prime followed closely, as SM threw Oompaloompas in his path in attempts to slow him down. Luckily, Prime used his agile reflexes and dodged the Oompaloompas and kicked them out of the way with ease. Unfortunately for Prime, he wasn’t familiar with the factory and had lost track of SM. He looked around frantically, but every time he caught movement out of the corner of his eye it was only one of those stupid Oompaloompas. All of a sudden Prime saw something else in his peripheral vision, and turned around to ‘THWAP’. Prime was hit in the face with a freezing cold snowball.

“What… a snowball?” Prime thought to himself as he licked his lips. “Wait a minute… ice cream? You threw a scoop of ice cream at me? IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE?” Prime screamed at the top of his lungs. THWAP and Prime was hit again in the back of the head with another scoop of Chocolate Chip 9mm Bullet Ripple. He realized that SM was somewhere above him. Prime looked around and jumped onto a conveyor belt carrying truck hoods with Evil Ice Cream painted on them.

The conveyor belts carried Prime to the upper level where he saw SM running around the scaffolding armed with a tub of ice cream and an ice cream scoop. Prime got up off of the conveyor belt onto the scaffolding and stealthily crept towards SM. “Don’t turn around,” Prime said to himself, “maybe if I will him not to turn around, he won’t turn around.”

He crept closer and closer as the loudness of the conveyor belts roared over the sound of his slow footsteps. As fate would have it, SM turned around and was staring right in Prime’s direction. However, Prime was close enough that he lunged at SM’s legs and pulled them out from underneath him. SM’s head slammed into the scaffolding with a loud thud. SM quickly flipped himself back onto his feet and slammed his fist into Prime’s stomach knocking the wind out of him as he staggered back. SM charged at Prime with his shoulder down but Prime ducked and hip-tossed over the railing of the scaffolding.

SM screamed in terror as he plunged towards the concrete floor, “OOMPALOOMPAS! Catch me!” he shouted, as underneath dozens of Oompaloompas gathered to break the fall of their master…

"Erm... that'll be 5 dollars" SM said to Optimus as he handed him a 5 scoop cone. Optimus cunningly handed SM an IOU and ran down the street. SM immediatly gave chase. As Optimus heard the roar of SM's non-ricey, 50hp engine he ran into the closest building he found. That building just happened to be the Evil Ice Cream Van factory.

As Optimus entered the building he realized the severity of his blunder. The army of Oompaloompas immediatly slammed the exit shut and surrounded Optimus. SM in all his ultimate glory P) dramatically walked through the Oompaloompas and towards his opponent.

"Well i guess theres no way out of this one, now give me my damn money >_<!!!" SM screamed. "Make me you big doodoo head" responded Optimus. "ARGH!" SM leaped at Optimus. Optimus dodged by simply taking a step back. SM slammed into the floor and was helped up by the Oompaloompas. Optimus grabbed SM and threw him into a pile of monopoly money the Ice Cream factory had earned in all its years. SM crawled through the money and ran through the crowd of Oompaloompa's attempting to find his favorite weapon. One of the Oompaloompa's slammed the blessed Flamethrower into SM's chest as he continued running through the crowd.

While SM ran around mindlessly (as usual ), Optimus had been looking for another exit. He found a door labeled EMERGENCY EXIT. Assuming he would use this as an exit the Oompaloompa's covered it. The police came in slapped the Oompaloompa's in cuffs and took them all off to jail. Now trapped in the open SM had no other choice but to again charge Optimus. Optimus again dodged but this time SM fired his flamethrower at him, catching his hair on fire. Optimus ran to the bathroom to put the fire out, but SM threw a load of uber slick lube at his feet, tripping him. Optimus bottled the legendary lube then continued into the bathroom...

After putting out the fire and using teh lube (hehehe), Optimus decided to take the offensive. He took advantage of SM's slow reaction time and nailed him in the face. SM laid on the floor, obviously in pain. Seeing no other alternative, he unleashed teh tongue.... \o/

SM, you were...lacking a bit of detail.

OP, throwing oompas is a deadly tactic, and it was very smart.

OP wins the round.

Chaos thrived on the main level as the Oompaloompas gathered in formation to catch their plummeting master. SM hit hard as the Oompaloompas’ legs buckled under his massive weight.

Meanwhile, Prime was hiding among more scrap metal with the ice cream menu painted on it on the conveyor belt. Prime leapt off the conveyor belt as it brought him back to ground level and charge at SM who was still orienting himself after the fall. “ARGHHH!” Prime screamed as he charged at SM who countered prime with a spinning heal kick to the side of the face sending him to the ground.

“Oompaloompas!” ordered SM, “PIIIIILE ONNNNN!” And with that said, dozens of Oompaloompas jumped on top of Prime who was lying stunned on the cold metal floor after the devastating blow to the head. Minutes went by as the Oompaloompas lay on top of Prime’s body. SM was sure by now he must have suffocated to death and laughed to himself menacingly.

Suddenly, a scream was heard from under the pile, which grew louder and louder by the instant. Then, Prime gathered all the strength and courage he could manage and jumped up through the pile sending Oompaloompas flying in every direction. Thuds echoed throughout the factory as they landed on the cold floor. ‘SPLASH’, as an Oompaloompa landed into a vat of ice cream.

“Hehe,” SM chuckled, “a new flavour, Oompaloompa surprise. “Sounds like a classic,” said Prime in retort “and here’s the surprise!” he shouted as he hurled the Oompaloompa he was hiding behind his back at a tremendous speed. SM motioned to block but it was too late as the Oompaloompa imploded instantly as it collided with his face.

“I’m melting! Mellllltiiiiinnng,” screamed SM in agony as the goo from the Oompaloompa slowly dripped down his face.

Prime stared with a confused look on his face wondering whether or not this man was criminally insane or just an idiot. However, he knew that he could use this to his advantage. He ran at SM and leapt into the air, planting his foot into SM’s stomach. “Oof” let out SM, as he grasped his stomach struggling to regain his breath. This was another chance for Prime to get ahead, as he crouched and spun his leg out tripping SM onto his back. Prime wanted to keep his upper edge and picked up SM and spun with his right hand raised for a backhand.

“Don’t think so,” said SM as he was able to block the backhand with what ease. “This is far from over!” he shouted as slammed both of his palms into Prime’s chest. Prime let out a roar of agony, the hit send pain all through out his body. He went for a right jab to the face but Prime quickly grabbed a piece of sheet metal and blocked the punch. “OWWIEEE,” shouted SM, as he danced around shaking his fist in the air in pain.

Prime approached SM with caution, remembering the shot to the chest, but this time he met SM’s knee to his stomach. Reeling over in pain, Prime clenched his stomach as SM’s knee now came into to contact with Prime’s jaw sending him flying to the ground. SM walked over to Prime and raised his foot, and slammed it down to Prime’s head. Luckily, Prime was able to roll out of the way just as the foot missed his face.

“Time for some ice cream,” Prime thought to himself as he jumped up quickly and ran towards the giant vats which were marked with a skull and crossbones.

SM quickly gave towards Prime who was standing with his back against the giant vat. “Nowhere to run now Prime,” said SM who was steadily advancing closer.

“How correct you are,” countered Prime, “nowhere… for you!” he shouted as he pulled a valve next to the vat. Sirens and lights flashed and whirred all around the factory. “NO!” screamed SM, “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” SM quickly ran over to a bunch of gauges and frantically tried to reverse what Prime had done. He stared in horror as the pressure gauge reached the red zone. He turned around but Prime was no longer in the building, Prime had gotten out there as fast as he could.

SM turned around in horror as he heard the sound of cracking. His jaw grew wide as he saw a large crack growing up the side of the vat which was right behind him. No sooner than he could he scream the vat gave out, and SM was consumed by a giant tidal wave of ice cream.

Meanwhile back in the parking lot, Prime clicked the keyless entry for his Cadillac *beep beep* as he got inside and turned the ignition. He was exhausted, and as he drove home and pulled into his driveway he noticed something taped to his front door. He walked up to find another post card, ‘Congratulations, you have won a free boat. Please come to 999 Inevitable Death Blvd. to claim your prize.’

Bah i think ill take the lil bish offer from before. So you win.
I cant write very well anyway. Ofcourse ill still pwn you, on irc