Doomed

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"The gate is ready," says the white coated scientist, "You may open the portal." The commander pushes the button to engage the vortex, causing the lights to flicker slightly as power is drained into the gate. A red, plasma looking substance washes over the opening, covering it completely.

"Power?" asks the commander.

"All fine, we're at 74% efficiency." The scientist responds, "Wait... something is coming through..." Suddenly, the lights explode, causing sparks to fly everywhere in the command room. The building shakes from an unknown force.

The only thing lighting the room is the red glow from the portal. The men stand up and look at it, feeling as though they were going to pop from anticipation. Nothing happens.

"Gather a team, and prepare the probe, I want to see what's on the other side," shouts the commander, "And someone fix the damned lights."

"Yes sir." responds the scientist, getting on the voice com to alert the officers.

---------An Hour Later...---------

The machine slowly rolls up to the rectangularly shaped portal, the red flaming plasma emitting slightly from it, causing a watery appearance. The probe rolls up the ramp and into the vortex.

"Temperature reading?" asks the commander.

"Everything is... well it's pretty hot down there, 41C, sir." responds the scientist.

"I'm going in with my team, deliver a message to the council telling them of our progress so far." orders the commander.

"Yes sir. Good luck, this is a giant step for humanity, it could help us travel to different planets instantly if it's what we believe it is." says the eager scientist.

The commander nods and walks out of the room down to the gate, 5 men waiting to go with him. He steps up to the portal, sweating from the heat of the plasma. The commander slowly puts his hand into it. "It's... it's cool... but it emits heat... that's amazing." He continues to walk forward but stops in his track. "Something... something grabbed my ha..." He is yanked into the portal, screaming. The other men stand back in shock.

"Go go go!" shouts the commanding officer, running towards the vortex, the other men following behind him. They run through the plasma and into a long hallway looking structure. Lights flash downwards to the other end, illuminating only a small section at a time. They walk slower towards the other end until they see the lit up section, a beast standing in hallway, devouring a corpse.

It growls as it slowly devours the corpse of their former commander. The men stand back from the horrid creature, but it's too late. It rears it's head at them and kicks the body into the opposite portal, where the creature came from. It stands up fully, atleast 12 feet tall, towering over the men. It steps forward slowly, shaking the ground.

"AHH!!" shout the men, shooting and screaming at the same time as they back out of the portal. "Close the portal!" shouts a man, "Close the damned portal!"

"It isn't responding," responds the scientist, "I can't do anything from up here." His glass of water falls to the ground from shaking. A massive head comes out of the portal, looking around. It grabs one of the men, swinging him in the air, bashing him against the wall and back onto the ground, splattering his organs.

The men try to run away but the clumsy scientist had closed the door to save himself. "Open the door!" shouts one of the men, "open the ---." He can't finish his sentence as he is grabbed in the abdomen and crushed by the monster's hand. The scientist closes the blast window so he doesn't have to watch the gore and death.

Gun shots and screams are heard for a few more seconds and then all is silent. The scientist lays on the ground in the back of the command room, breathing heavy. Something plows into the blast window, the metal bending from the incredible strength. It hits it again, and again, and again. The scientist runs to the door to escape but is met by a half dog half machinish looking think, standing as tall as he was. The demon's teeth, having 2 rows of knife sharp teeth are covered in blood.

"Oh my go-." The demon jumps onto him and bites in, killing him instantly...

---------To Be Continued...---------
 
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Very cool Smith, you've certainly got a nack for a writing. Please continue as soon as you can, don't leave me in suspense! :D
 
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Pfft, I probably won't complete. I was reading about doom 3 in school when I wrote it. I think it's a huge failure at the moment >_>.
 
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If you think it can get better then thats double the reason to continue. I often get edgy about pieces of my own writing, sometimes I only recognise their worth two or three chapters in.
 
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It's not bad from what I've read, but I think you're capable of something much better smith. Allthough I'm kind of intersted in how it continues.
 
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I'll add a second chapter soon, it'll be 7 days before the incident though, I'm starting a star trek story =0.
 
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It was okay. Continuing and improving is the only way to get better for anyone.
 

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