A DBZ Fan Fic: The Return of Bardock

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Alright ya'll, this is my first fan fic. I'm doing this cause I'm bored. If ya like it and want me to continue, post here.

Crits needed XD.

Sorry for any spelling errors.


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Chapter 1- The Return


"I told you Kakarott, you can't beat me at your current level. Although I'll give you credit for trying, you and that foolish Namek can never hope to defeat me." Raditz bellowed. "You should have joined me Kakarott, and helped me take over this planet. Now, your going to die."

Just then an explosion was heard, and Goku's young son Gohan, destroyed Raditz's space pod and was flying at an incredible speed. His target, Raditz. "No, this can't be true. My scouter was correct after all. This kid is strong." Raditz thought to himself as Gohan plowed into him headfirst.

"G-Go-Gohan!!" Goku screamed as he saw Gohan nail Raditz. Goku tried to get up, but he couldn't. Raditz had crushed his rib-cage, making it near impossible for Goku to breathe let alone stand. "GOKU!!" Piccolo yelled "Stand up Goku and help Gohan." Just then Gohan was struck down, his power level returning to normal.

"Damn brat" Raditz said "He actually cracked my armor. Oh well, that just means I'll have to kill him along with is wimp of a father. SAY GOODBYE YOU ANNOYING BRAT!!!" But before Raditz could deal the final blow, he felt something tug his tail and then, he lost his power.

Infurriated that someone found his weakspot, Raditz turned his head to see his own brother holding his tail. "Just as I thought, your're the same as me" Goku said breathelessly, "You loose all your power when someone grabs your tail. This fight is in my favor now......PICCOLO!!!!" He yelled "Lets do this."

Piccolo was emmiting an extreme amount of energy. With two fingers against his forhead Piccolo was charging up one big attack. "Keep holding him Goku, this will take some time." "No Kakarott, please.....let me go. I'll become good....please don't kill me." Raditz pleaded. Hearing all this was causing Goku to had second thoughts. "NO GOKU, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!!!" Piccolo screamed. But it was too late....Goku let go.

"You damn fool" Raditz guffawed, "Your to softhearted to be a Sayian. Now Kakarott, meet your doom."

Just as Raditz was about to deal the final blow, a blast of energy came out of nowhere and struck the ground next to where they were fighting. "What, who's their??!!" Raditz said. Piccolo was wondering the same thing.

Just then a figure appeared in the sky, and when Raditz saw him he fell to his knees, a look of fear in his eye's. Raditz couldn't beleave the power reading on his scouter. Right as Raditz began to speak his scouter exploded, the last numbers he saw on it were 30,000.

Piccolo stood in shock and disbeleaf "This can't be..." he thought "There.....there are two Goku's?"

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Next chapter- His name is Bardock.
 
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Hey thanks.

It'll be a bit before I come out with chapter 2. Took me almost all day to come up with this.
 
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It'll be worth the wait... I really liked the first chapter. Hope the 2nd one is just as good, if not better :]
 
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hmmm, you basically copied the dbz episode where Raditz kidnapped Gohan


I hope you don't copy the entire Saiyan saga and just add Bardock.
 
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yeah u really need to come up with some orginal content instead of ripping dbz eps
 
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Sorry guys. But this was like one of the only few ways I could think of that worked best.

It'll get better as I go on. And no I won't copy each saga, just parts from em.
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Chapter 2- His name is Bardock


“No, it can’t be” Raditz said, “It just can’t be, you’re supposed to be dead. I was told that all the sayians had died except for me, Kakarott and 2 others.” “Well, it looks like your information was wrong now wasn’t it.” The Goku look-alike said. Meanwhile Piccolo made his way closer and closer not trying to be noticed. “Something is not right here” He thought. “Who is this guy, and why does he look just like Goku?”

“Just who in the hell are you?” Raditz demanded “And can’t you see I’m in the middle of an important fight?” “Raditz, that’s enough” The unknown warrior said, “I’m ending this fight for a very good reason. Kakarott, Raditz, it’s time you learned who I am.”

At this time Gohan was regaining consciousness and was making his way to his father’s battered body. “D-daddy who is this creepy man? And why does he look like you?” Gohan whined. “I’m not to sure Gohan. Hopefully we’ll get some answers real soon.” “Goku need a hand?” Piccolo said as he stood by him. Piccolo pulled Goku up and carried him on his shoulder. “HEY!!” Piccolo said as he pointed at the unknown warrior, “I don’t know who you are but we don’t want any trouble. If you’ve come to finish us off so be it.”

“Kakarott, Raditz, this is going to be hard to believe but……” He said, “It’s been many years since I last saw both of you. Man its good to see you two again.” Then it finally hit Raditz who this man was. “No, you can’t be…..you just can’t be!!!” Raditz said “That’s right Raditz, I’m your father……BARDOCK!!!” The warrior announced,

“But it can’t be. I was told you were destroyed along with Planet Vegita.” Raditz said. “Well, I would have been if I hadn’t turned around before Frieza blew it up. The explosion from the planet sent my pod in a different direction, sending me into deep space to drift alone.” Bardock said. “If it hadn’t been for a space station not far from planet Vegita, I would have perished. The people aboard that station took me in, cared for my wounds, fed me and even trained me.” “But why come here father? Why come find us?” Raditz said, “Because son, I realized that if I’m going to fight Frieza I need more help.”

“Wait just a minuet here…” Goku said, “So you’re telling me that I am an alien and you’re my father? I don’t believe it.” “Weather you believe it or not, you are Kakarott.” Said Bardock.

“RADITZ!!! COME IN RADITZ!!!” A voice screamed in the earpiece on Raditz’s scouter. “What the hell is going on? Have you taken over that planet or not?”
“No I haven’t, and you’re not going to believe who’s here….”
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well..?! hm... its kinda cool.. i mean its fine.. well.. i wish to see how this turns out.. and one question; did u decide for this cuz of es_tanks fan fic?! i mean its alitle to bad a start.. not that u did screw everything up, its just too dbz-like fan fic... but continue...
 
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Its actually not that bad..

I'm interested to see where you're going with it, I do have one crit though. Piccolo seems a lot mellower in your fic, remember that at this time Piccolo would gladly have vapourised Goku had he gotten the chance. I don't think, even during their alliance, that he'd consider touching him - let alone holding him up.

He really didn't like him.. o_O
 
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heh thanks guys.

Yeah I know its more like DBZ than I had planned on, but I'm havin fun with it now :D


Chapter 3 might be out later this afternoon.
 

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