Battle of the most humorous

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:O!!

i question the title of " Fight Club Humor Champion" to be brought into fight club, this basicly contends on whomever makes the ref laugh or smile, is the most is the champ, would the full refs consider this as there is nothing of the likes so far. \o/

if so, would anyone ettempt to overpower the muffins for this title? :eek:
 
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i could beat you mr. funny boy to take your funny belt!

or was this a request instead of a challenge?
 
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t'was a combination, spicy pants. we cant really go for a title if it is not officialy declared, can we? :eek:

remember, this title would be based on comedy, not plain retardedness, it would also help to stick somthing about a comedy bio, as if a standoff, i dont like writing around humor and the opponent being mr serious all the time :eek:
 
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I'll allow it.

The venue is Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, where the Muffin Man is conducting a midnight raid to uncover corporate secrets. The best of three round then? Good, now make teh pickle laugh.
 
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\o/ spanks alot cuc, best venue choice ive heard in a while :eek:

Ice man, is there Any chance you could slap up a more entertaining bio? its hard to have a real fun match with the combination of my funny bio and your mr serious bio.
 
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This bio is strictly for this fight. It's not Original, and the only thing i can think of that would do justice.


Name: Stewie
Age: 1
Height: 1'4"
Weight: 22 lbs
Attire: Red overall with a yellow long sleeve shirt and white shoes.
Weapons: Telephone, hand-made lazer gun, and basically anything in his reach.

Bio: Son of Peter and Lois Griffin. He is said to be a mutant baby since he is capable of doing tasks that a normal man couldn't do. On many attempts, he's tried to take out his family. Even though he acts grumpy, he has a gentle spot for teddies and other things that attract children. His future plans is for world domination, and have attempted that on my occasions.

I will begin my fight post later.
 
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-Tony (intro)
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FWOOM!

The lightning stuck again in the lifeless night, the flash of light illuminating the walls around him. It was another dreary working weekend for Tony; he decided to switch shifts with another security guard for this weekend so he could get a change of scenery instead of the industrial estate down the road. .

BOOM!

The lightning boomed again as Tony swung round the corner, the flash from the bolt casting light onto his destination. A huge towering factory, painted in a ghastly clash of purple and yellow. At the front hung a huge rusted sign stating the words “Willy wonka’s chocolate factory” in a similar colour scheme to the building.

“I wished for a change in scenery, but this is ridiculous!” Tony thought to himself as he approached the rusty, towering gates. “Hmm... unlocked, I’m sure that isn’t supposed to be like that” he pondered as he slammed the gates shut behind him and strolled towards the main doors. He went to knock at the door, but in the first bash, the door reacted by creaking open slightly, he pushed it open with his hand. “Open as well? I’m not sure they should be hiring us if they leave the place so open…”

WHUZZAT???

The croaky voce shot down the long hall like a bullet. “its me, Tony, I’m switching shifts with a friend!” Tony replied, not really having to raise his voice as it travelled down the hall with ease. “oh, come on in then, and close the door now if you don’t mind.” The figure replied. Tony quickly slammed the door shut, the crack echoing down the hall.

“So, decided for a change, I see?” stated the figure as Tony entered the staff room. “Yeah, not really inspiring going in circles round factories…” he replied. “Well, you ain’t gonna get a more inspiring place than this, I can assure you that much.” The man replied as he lent back in his seat, plucking the coffee mug from the table with ease. “yeah, I can already see that, speaking of which, why did you leave the door open?” Tony asked “I needed some air, it gets awfully stuffy in here with no windows or air conditioning” the figure replied “but what about the gate? Surely that doesn’t need to be left open…” Tony asked in a confused manner “the gate was open? Well I didn’t leave it like that and it wasn’t about five minutes ago, I wonder…”

GOMMMM!!!

The mighty bellow shot through the room like a shockwave, the floor trembled from the sheer power. “Bah, I betcha its one of those damm machines again, lemme go check them out, you stay here and keep the doors under watch” The worked replied, then slammed his mug down and prepared his torch, before briefly departing the room and disappearing into the workroom.

“at least I could walk with the old factories, doors tend not to do much…” Tony thought to himself and he stared at the hall of doors.

No…ive just ate, please…mff…AARGH!!

The scream caught Tony by surprise; he stumbled and knocked his head on the wall as he got to his feet. “What the hell was that? Sounded like the other guy… guess I’ll go check it out” Tony thought to himself, then quickly pulled another torch from the desk and ventured into the workroom.

“gomm…”

The familiar noise could be heard even though the buzz of the rather dangerous looking machines around him.

“gomm..Gomm...GOMM….”

The sound seemed to get louder, but from all around him as if it approached him from all angles. “Damm… this is creepy…AH!” Tony suddenly stumbled off his feet and careered into the ground headfirst with a loud thud, as he lifted his head from the concrete floor, rubbing his head, he thought to himself “Geez that hurt, what the heck was that?” he lifted himself to his feet and turned around to see what I was. As he peered into the dark ground he could just make out what it was in the dark. A shoe. “Phew, I was expecting something worse than that…” he clicked his torch on and aimed it onto the black shoe. As the eerie glow from the torch beamed down upon the shoe. He saw a leg, as he worked his way up, he saw it was the other security guard, only he seemed he had been force fed large amounts of a food of some kind. He picked up one of the crumbs from the floor as examined it. It was a muffin crumb

“Gomm….”

The voice behind him sent chills down his spine like freezing water, suddenly his old torch decided it could take no more and shut itself off. Slowly Tony peered over his sholder…

”BOOOH!!”

The shriek knocked Tony off his feet, knocking his head on the corner of one of the nearby machines, stunning him temporarily.

“Eat mah muffins!” the overwhelming creature bellowed as he pulled a handfun of muffins from his sack
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-Stewie

EEAAARGH!!!

The scream echoed through the drizzly midnight streets.

“For Christ’s sake, will people keep quiet? Children are trying to sleep!” The small figure shouted back. Another clap of lightning cast more light onto the small figure. He was no more than 1’4’’ and had the figure of a one year old, yet he talked with fluency like no other. The tag for his red overalls hung out, on it, scrawled with biro was the name “Stewie”.

“right, downing streets just a few blocks... Willy wonka’s chocolate factory! I wonder if they have any samples going…” Stewie thought to himself in delight “really, if I’m going to take over the world, I’m going to need some supplies, guess I’ll go in and help myself, surely they wont deny a charming man such as myself a few free samples?”

As Stewie ventured to the gates, he noticed that the gap below was large enough for him to crawl under, as he did, he also noticed the main door was still ajar, Swiftly he led himself in…

“Lights...On...Activate!!!...”

“Don’t these people have such primitive technology as a sound recognition system installed? Curse them...now where’s the chocolate storage” Stewie pondered to himself as he examined the guide board on the wall.

“Where… is… the… chocolate store?”

Stewie questioned the board, with no reply. “Damm these insolent fools! I’ll have to find it by myself then!” Stewie grunted under his breath as he ventured towards the only door left open, the workroom.

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-The muffin Man

“Bleh, nobody ever says how lubblah mah muffins are…” The muffin man moaned to himself as he lifted and dropped the lifeless arm of Tony. “meh, Wheres beh the stuff! I want to make some willy muffins with it!” the muffin man thought to himself with glee at the words ‘willy muffins’. “dem muffins beh the bestest!” he said as he romped towards the rest of the machines.

Finally he came across the last machine, the everlasting gobstopper machine. Its bright lights and whirring spinners left the muffin man in awe for a second, then briefly he threw a nearby brick into it. Slowly the machine died, spluttering its final gobstoppers with its last moment. “Gomm! Pretty thingies!” the muffin man squealed to himself with glee as he pulled out his mighty swag sack and started to fill up on the eternal treats.

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-Willy Wonka

CRASH!

The sound was only too familiar to Willy wonka himself; the sound of breaking machines was all he heard throughout his life here at his own chocolate factory. Briefly he donned his jazzy suit and plucked his cane from the wall stand and ventured down to find out what broke his machine this time.

As he came to the workroom back door, he could hear a crunching sound beyond the door. “Humph, must be the gobstopper machine playing up again” he reassured himself before entering the door.

WHUMP

As soon as he opened the door and blindly ventured through, he was knocked down to the ground by something soft. As he looked up, he could see the behemoth of a belly that could only be owned by the muffin man. “My god, you’re here to steal my secrets…GUARDS!” Willy wonka shouted down the hall, but was only answered by his echo in the shadow. “hewwo!!” The muffin man realised who it was “i need sumfin new for the shop! Your tastah yummahs will do just lubblah!” the muffin man stated. “Wait my gobstoppers…if you use those in your devious treats, anyone who will eat them will never eat again!” Willy wonka started to realise the scale of this robbery now. “whee! And you get to testeh the first batch!” the muffin man quickly pulled out a muffin and jammed a bunch of gobstoppers into it. “No! I don’t want to die now!” Willy wonka shouted in fear. "Open wide!". Those where the last words he heard.

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-All

Stewie felt a squelching noise below his shoes. As he peered into the darkness, he saw one of the torches that the guards lost; he picked it up and examined the muffins. “Muffins? in willy wonka’s factory? Possibly a new treat he’s making for me? Must be first to eat it!” Stewie pondered over the possibilities as he ventured further into the workroom, not paying attention to the pair of dead guards slumped onto the ground, whose faces were crammed to the maximum with muffins. Stewie started a small sprint as he ran round the corner to the gobstopper machine, not noticing the obstruction. Suddenly he stopped as was propelled onto the ground, as he looked up, he thought to himself “what an ass I am…” then he noticed what he collided with, 300lbs of pure arse. The size that could only remain on the muffin man. “Dear lord! Is this behemoth of lard alive?” Stewie thought to himself and he pulled himself away from the sack of lard. The muffin man slowly realised someone made contact with his rear, slowly he turned around and noticed who it was. “BEBBAH!” the muffin man bellowed, Stewie almost being pushed away with the sheer force

“are you human?” Stewie franticly replied “with a rear like that, how can you get in here!” Stewie shouted as he got back to his feet. The muffin man was insulted by the comment as he slowly turned himself around “Its all me! Nasteh bebbeh, get in mah bellah!” The muffin man roared as reached out to grasp the small Stewie with his greasy, stumpy hands. “oh noes!” Stewie screamed as he franticly crawled under one of the broken machines “you wouldn’t have the guts to eat a kid, though you could stomach an elephant with that…thing!” Stewie tried to reason with the annoyed baker. “you made fun of the bum bum! Now you bes the bum bum!” the muffin man roared as he started battering the machine with his towering body. The machine couldn’t take the stress from the repeated blows and started to topple, Stewie thought to himself, pulled out his personal lazergun and released a shot between the legs of the muffin man. The shock sent the muffin man topping backwards holding his crotch. Stewie scuttled up a set of ladder behind the wrecked machine. “Again!, again!” the muffin man laughed as he heaved himself back up. “Hey, crap sack” Stewie called to the lard wagon below. Within his grasp was a hose that led to the emergency fire point, briefly he activated the switch, but instead of water gushing out, a foam of some sorts sprayed upon the muffin man, where it landed, it solidified into a rock solid airtight cap. This system was possibly installed because the machines where not normal and fires were unpredictable. Once the muffin man was coated in the foam, Stewie stopped and ventured down the ladders to peer at his work.

“Lets see the mammoth work his way out of this one” Stewie gloated for a moment, not noticing the cracks forming throughout the foam.
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A horrificly complex piece, but i couldnt help but delve a little deeper into what actually brought the combatants together and why the factory was empty, which could only be done with a multi-perspective story. whomever wins, the next round is gonna pwn :O
 
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its been more than long enough, several weeks now, i want to start round 2 some time soon ;|
 
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sigh... beond a joke, im getting rather annoyed now, been over a month and i want to see this title resolved soon >:|
 
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Sorry for the dissapointment, but I will have to forfiet due to my schedule.

Sorry for wasting your time Shijing, as I had over a month or two to get it done, and most of that time I completely forgot about our battle.

Take your victory lap and proceed to hold that new championship high as I will be coming back for it in a couple of weeks ;)
 
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you bettoh! i feel so dirty with this cheaply won title at the moment... this isnt finished yet! we shall cross our humor in another challenge soon i hope :O

on a cuc note: - would you mind adding my details to the official fight club rankings list? im still not there :O
 

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